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10-25-2010, 04:38 PM
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#1 |
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makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status:
single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. 
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To take care of me I do things I want to do for me,I dont deny myself simple things I enjoy like I did before,If I see something I like I often get it,go to a movie I havent seen.Last year I went whole hog into playing pool so now im on two teams ones a mixed team the other a ladies team.The best thing im finding me while doing this...not shure how I lost me but its working out if that makes any sence.
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11-01-2010, 04:22 AM
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#2 |
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Today is the first day of a new month, the first day of a new work week and there is a new moon at the end of this week. Everything appears to be lined up for new beginnings - at least for me.
That being said, I am nurturing myself by taking back my life and taking care of me. For the past many months I have been "sort of" following the food programme from my doctor so it did not come as a surprise when I got on the scale last week and found that I had re-gained some of the weight I fought so hard to lose - not a lot but enough. That's hardly taking care of myself. Re-reading some of the posts in this thread - especially the ones by Arwen, Gemme and Softness about self-indulgence v. self-nurturing has given me strength, encouragement and hope. Thank you ladies. 
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11-01-2010, 06:16 AM
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#3 |
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I am absolutly horrible at nurturing myself..
It's a nasty circle.. I feel guilty for taking/giving myself what I need to be a balance, healthy individual... So I stop.... I get resentful of not having the things I need and I go into a state of inertia. Depression, hopelessness, soon follow... Pull myself up and out of depression by sheer will.. Take what I need for myself and then the cycle starts all over again... I've always been an all or nothing kind of woman, balance is very hard for me... and the ways different parts of me need to be nurtured are so very different... I really do have a two distictly different sides... (No, not split personalities.. Just very much a gemini) On one hand... I need to provide a home for my family... I need to take care of someone... (This is the part of me that I think of as a sterotypical 50's housewife... It really does give me soul satisfaction to have a clean house, fresh bread out of the oven, drink and slipper in hand for the head of my household to come home too..) On the other hand... What I need to be nurtured is Time... Time to walk Time to wander Time to think Time to process I need to be by water... I need to listen to music that moves me to dance... I need to dance like a whirling dervish, I need to work in a garden, I need read good books and think about what I read...I need to play my drum and let it make my mind still.. I need to get my hands dirty in clay, I need to let my imagination take over and lose myself in a box, or a mirror, or what ever needs to be transformed...I need time before the sun comes up to think and process and fill my soul with the quiet...and then if I can be filled enough with these things... I need time to pick up my camera and show how I see the world, time to write what is in my heart, my soul.. Because the base of what I need is quality and quanity time alone.. (Not even a phone call or a txt message)The others build on this first step... If I don't do the first three, then I can't process what is going on inside of me, then I don't know who I am, If I don't know who I am, I can't let go of control enough to dance, or beat the drum.. If I can't let go of control, then I can't create, If I can't create then I can't feel my soul, If I can't feel my soul, then I can't find my quiet place, If I can't find my quiet place then I can't write, and I can't take pictures... If I take what I need, then the guilt sets in.. It's almost impossible to be in a relationship when you need to be alone the majority of the time... When someone loves you, they sort of want to spend time with you... Then there is the entire housewife vs artist thing... lol.. I've tried to combine the two. The flowers came out beautiful, but I burned the roast and blew up the challah... It's hard to focus on the outside world when you are lost in clay... I have to find a way to balance the two.. The hole I just pulled myself out of was so dark and so deep, that I didn't think I was going to make it.. I've thought about SSRI's but taking a pill vs giving myself what I need? I'm resistant... It's like taking lactate so I can eat cheesecake, when my body says.. I don't like that... If I don't figure out a way to balance the two, then I am going to end up choosing myself and leaving the best relationship that I have ever had... I really don't wanna do that...
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11-01-2010, 07:34 AM
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#4 |
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It is really helpful to read how others nurture themselves. I can spin off when stressed and not pay attention to what my body and mind tells me I need. Often, I am so ruled by a history of putting other's first and that is not good. Then, I can go too far in trying to stick up for myself. Balance is the key... not so good at this.
There are many good ways to to self-nurture posted and I am going to pay attention to you all! In a very stressful situation right now and I need to get better with self-care! Thanks! |
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11-01-2010, 10:28 AM
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Hi Random
 I would offer to you that perhaps here lies the problem... Quote:
I do get the struggle you are in. On the one hand I see that you know what you need in order to be healthy, and on the other there is the guilt. Learning to self nurture will help a lot with removing that guilt though. So I say to you, you are not at fault for taking/giving yourself what you need to be a balanced, healthy individual. You will be a stronger partner if you take care of you. If you enjoy reading you may be interested in reading Radical Acceptance...it has opened my eyes about the ways I have limited myself, through self judgment. Peace Jesse
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“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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11-01-2010, 12:01 PM
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I am having a off day today... Random my fellow Gemini sister... Thank you... Your post speaks volumes to me... I walk a very similar path... We very well could be walking side by side... I have ALWAYS nurtured those around me... Is it possible that some people are just born to be nurturers? Because I am a mom, does this make me predisposed to nurture and take care with those around me? Just more questions to ponder... Quote:
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