Why can't common sense and good will be more, well, common?

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by Duchess

Why stress over things we have absolutely no control over?

I say this ALL the time. But there are times where one can feel and understand the frustration.

Originally Posted by SassyLeo

I was buying cat food the other day and realized the coupon I had was for the xlarge bag and I only needed the small bag. There was a guy buying the same food as I was in the xlarge bag, so I offered it to him. He said sure and thanked me. $3 is $3!

Right on! lol ... It's the simple gestures in life that really make a difference.

Originally Posted by Gemme

This made me happy and I didn't even GET a coupon, whether $7 off or $10!

Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

[Diva]

Originally Posted by NJFemmie

Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by Diva

Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.

I can understand that - and usually that is the first thought that pops into my head. I hate asking for help, or being put in a position where I NEED help. It's an uncomfy feeling, yes.

*smile* I still do it no matter how they respond to it. It makes ME feel good inside. I usually get the looks, and I just ignore it.

But some days... people just make me wanna go on their ass! lol

[Semantics]

I've noticed something a little different this year.

As someone who works a lot with social service agencies, I've found that people coming in and asking for help are especially grateful and humble this year in comparison to past years.

[NJFemmie]

Mare works in an incredibly busy retail store. On Black Friday, She was amazed how people were actually going out of their way to be extra nice.

She was saying that various people through out the day made it up to the register being short a few dollars/cents ... She said it was refreshing to see people digging into their pockets to lend a helping hand.

[Jess]

I love seeing the choice to just be kind in action!
My girl reminds me sometimes when I have " lost my manners".. It's kind of a joke with us, but it does make me more conscious of my interactions in the world.
Being one of those butch women who often get stared at.. whispered about, etc. I had found myself pulling away from the world at large, and it sometimes takes a bit of a deep breath for me to be comfortable enough to even offer a helping hand. Even then, I am sometimes just met with a blank stare as i can tell when whoever I am doing something for is "sizing me up".
Sometimes I need to be kind to folks as much for me as for them.

Great thread! Thanks!

[Rockinonahigh]

Last week I was at the grosery store and this young couple was in the check out line,both looked like they hadnt had a meal in a while,the fue things they bought wouldnt last long.Ya know we all have had times we were short of cash and done with less..anyway they paid for the thigs they bought and left..I felt for them big time.As I was going to my car I noticed them siting in there car eating what they bought,looked like they were liveing in it as well..u know we all should put the buggy back in the place its suposed to go,so made a round about trip to do that wich took me past there car..I had a 50 in my pocket and was headed to the pool hall for the night..well its a woinderful thing to walk past someones car and find a 50 laying on the pavement next to it..I knocked on the window ..hey man u droped this,u must have its next to your car,it shure isnt mine.I didnt give them time to say much..I gave it to them and walked away.people would say im nuts to do this but I could help and I did..it did more for me than u will know to help.
Rockin

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by NJFemmie

I say this ALL the time. But there are times where one can feel and understand the frustration.

Right on! lol ... It's the simple gestures in life that really make a difference.

Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

I've had this happen too. Some people just aren't receptive, no matter the gesture.

Originally Posted by Diva

Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.

It depends upon what's being offered/taken and where it is, I think. People in the South seem to look down upon gestures that would be deemed 'charity' but are more open at giving and receiving gestures that would be considered 'good manners'. Up here, I've found that there's nowhere near the stigma associated with shopping at Goodwill, going to the food bank, etc. However, the level of common courtesy ebbs and flows more up here. There are a lot of transplants up here and that's where most of the juice in my kindness meter comes from. So, they are more tolerant up here but less nice.

*shrug*

[Diva]

Originally Posted by Gemme

<snip> People in the South seem to look down upon gestures that would be deemed 'charity' but are more open at giving and receiving gestures that would be considered 'good manners'.
*shrug*

What are you basing this on?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Diva

What are you basing this on?

More than 20 years in Florida plus most of my first 11 years in Mississippi.

Of course, I was only speaking from my ME space and my own personal experiences.

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by Gemme

It depends upon what's being offered/taken and where it is, I think. People in the South seem to look down upon gestures that would be deemed 'charity' but are more open at giving and receiving gestures that would be considered 'good manners'.

*shrug*

This applies to just about anywhere. Pride.
So I guess one would have to disguise what would be considered charity as a good, common gesture just to get by... lol. (I kind of think of them as one and the same at times).

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by NJFemmie

This applies to just about anywhere. Pride.
So I guess one would have to disguise what would be considered charity as a good, common gesture just to get by... lol. (I kind of think of them as one and the same at times).

Very true.

[Diva]

I know I HATE it when I feel like someone feels sorry for me. H.A.T.E. I.T. And this last year, it has been rough financially.....and I have had to swallow my pride a few times. It's been a good lesson for me to be on the receiving end of people's kindness. And makes me so thankful for the "things" which I DO have, and for the people and love in my life. That makes me pretty wealthy, truth be told.

[julieisafemme]

Jews have the "fake it till you make it" rule where you just give and receive. You don't have to like the giving or receiving. You just do it because it is a mitzvah. Not a good deed or ma'asim tovim but a commandment. So it is the intention to do right and following up with action that makes the difference. I like this because it allows me to follow a rule rather than make judgement calls or expect something back. Where I have the hardest time is looking past myself and being right. If I can do that and follow the rule it is amazing how the outcome of a situation can change.

So why can't common sense and good will be more common? Because it is hard! If I could love, accept and cut myself some more slack it becomes easier.

[Shystonefem]

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

Last week I was at the grosery store and this young couple was in the check out line,both looked like they hadnt had a meal in a while,the fue things they bought wouldnt last long.Ya know we all have had times we were short of cash and done with less..anyway they paid for the thigs they bought and left..I felt for them big time.As I was going to my car I noticed them siting in there car eating what they bought,looked like they were liveing in it as well..u know we all should put the buggy back in the place its suposed to go,so made a round about trip to do that wich took me past there car..I had a 50 in my pocket and was headed to the pool hall for the night..well its a woinderful thing to walk past someones car and find a 50 laying on the pavement next to it..I knocked on the window ..hey man u droped this,u must have its next to your car,it shure isnt mine.I didnt give them time to say much..I gave it to them and walked away.people would say im nuts to do this but I could help and I did..it did more for me than u will know to help.
Rockin

You are definitely NOT nuts.... that was awesome.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

Last week I was at the grosery store and this young couple was in the check out line,both looked like they hadnt had a meal in a while,the fue things they bought wouldnt last long.Ya know we all have had times we were short of cash and done with less..anyway they paid for the thigs they bought and left..I felt for them big time.As I was going to my car I noticed them siting in there car eating what they bought,looked like they were liveing in it as well..u know we all should put the buggy back in the place its suposed to go,so made a round about trip to do that wich took me past there car..I had a 50 in my pocket and was headed to the pool hall for the night..well its a woinderful thing to walk past someones car and find a 50 laying on the pavement next to it..I knocked on the window ..hey man u droped this,u must have its next to your car,it shure isnt mine.I didnt give them time to say much..I gave it to them and walked away.people would say im nuts to do this but I could help and I did..it did more for me than u will know to help.
Rockin

[homoe]

I agree, helping someone out in need is SO satisfying!

[T D]

It's interesting in that once you do a few nice things for perfect strangers you find out that it usually takes very little to help a person out.

I live on a fix income, but I've been known to loan people money, buy them things they truly need, scrounge through my cupboards and freezer to provide for others, etc. If I have more than they do, I'm very open to sharing.

I truly believe what goes around comes around, it sometimes takes a while, but it always happens