Getting Rid of Flippant Language : Check Yourselves Here

[Random]

I struggle with this issue..

It feels like such a slippery slope to me...


On one hand I think that we as a society can become too *polite* too careful.. We want to make sure that no one is offended...

But someone is going to be offended by something.. Period..

Where does it end?

Art?
Film?
Music?
Books?

People have both fought for and against the right to censor these things..

Shouldn't it be up to each indivdual to decide (i hate that word, I have to type it three times EVERY TIME to get it right) what is right for them...

But on the other hand... Words have power.. to lift up and to tear down..

I think for me... Anytime ANY word is used in a negitive way.. then I hate it being used that way... and of course I express that feeling.. rather strongly...

There is a book... For some reason it came into my mind while I was reading this thread...

I can't remember the name of it.. It's about a society that frowns on strong emotions, strong colors, over dramatic use of language.. Everything is for the good of the community... Everyone has classes.. when you get to a certain age, then you do a certain thing.. The main charater is a boy who is going to become the keeper of memories and feelings.. He will hold all the stronger emotions for the comunity.. So they can be pure...

They say that they love, but they really don't know what love is, they say anger, but they don't know what it is...

They have traded the *flavor/passion* of life for safety and the well being of the community.. If a baby won't sleep through the night, then it's put to sleep.. If someone threatens the peacefulness of the comunity then they are given the needle..

For a book that made such an inpression on me,I can't ever remember it's freaking name!!!!!

For me.. self expression is the greatest freedom there is.. But that is a two sided coin.. If I want the right to express myself, then I have to expect that right for everyone else..

*shrug* For me.. there is no answer.. I try to be mindful of other people.. as I want them to be mindful of me... but I also have no intention of being so worried about my words, that I silence myself..000

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

There is a book... For some reason it came into my mind while I was reading this thread...

I can't remember the name of it.. It's about a society that frowns on strong emotions, strong colors, over dramatic use of language.. Everything is for the good of the community... Everyone has classes.. when you get to a certain age, then you do a certain thing.. The main charater is a boy who is going to become the keeper of memories and feelings.. He will hold all the stronger emotions for the comunity.. So they can be pure...

That's The Giver by Lois B(urton?) and it blew me away when I read it this past year for a class.

It's the first of three novels apparently. I've only read that one.

I see where you could get that energy from this thread. I really do.

However, I think it is the intent. I laughed my REAR off Saturday night while watching Robin Williams. And believe you me, the man was offensive as all get out. No really! He hit some buttons pretty hard--one of them being some stereotypes we've discussed here.

But I think if I said to you, Cyn, it makes me uncomfortable when you use the word "blue" around me (and gave you a compelling reason) that you would probably not use that word around me.

Knowing our audience. For me, it's about knowing my audience. In a large community like this, I can't know my audience that well. That's probably how smaller more intimate groups get formed (the so-called "cool kids" syndrome.)

We gravitate towards those that laugh and feel and emote like us.

Can we expect all of us here to homogenize with the rest? Nope. Not gonna happen. Because, like in The Giver, our world would become bland. But I can try not to intentionally hurt someone.

[Random]

My post went bye bye and now I'm too tired to redue it..

Will comment again tomorrow..

[Random]

Originally Posted by Arwen

That's The Giver by Lois B(urton?) and it blew me away when I read it this past year for a class.

It's the first of three novels apparently. I've only read that one.

I see where you could get that energy from this thread. I really do.

However, I think it is the intent. I laughed my REAR off Saturday night while watching Robin Williams. And believe you me, the man was offensive as all get out. No really! He hit some buttons pretty hard--one of them being some stereotypes we've discussed here.

But I think if I said to you, Cyn, it makes me uncomfortable when you use the word "blue" around me (and gave you a compelling reason) that you would probably not use that word around me.

Knowing our audience. For me, it's about knowing my audience. In a large community like this, I can't know my audience that well. That's probably how smaller more intimate groups get formed (the so-called "cool kids" syndrome.)

We gravitate towards those that laugh and feel and emote like us.

Can we expect all of us here to homogenize with the rest? Nope. Not gonna happen. Because, like in The Giver, our world would become bland. But I can try not to intentionally hurt someone.

Thank you... all my books are still packed.. (Still looking for those perfect narrow TALL bookcase)

I hear what you are saying..

It's up to us to be mindful of each other.. While being true to who we are at the core... it's actually harder than going one way or the other.. Balance is the key, I think..

You are right.. knowing your crowd is the key... I feel more comfortable being a bit ranchy with some folks than with others...

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

It's up to us to be mindful of each other.. While being true to who we are at the core... it's actually harder than going one way or the other.. Balance is the key, I think..

You are right.. knowing your crowd is the key... I feel more comfortable being a bit ranchy with some folks than with others...

So what are our obligations to one another? How do we live a life that is true to ourselves and still respectful of our fellow humans?

If I call someone a stupid redneck because they've just called me a dyke--who am I hurting, if anyone?

If I am angry at another woman and I call her a fat, stupid cow--have I insulted cows, other women and myself (since I am fat)?

I think on some level we ALL do this. I honestly do not know of anyone who doesn't react in anger and speak from that ugly place we all own.

How do I learn how to speak from that loving, joyful place? Is it necessary to do that all the time?

I think, for me, it is. I could live my life whining about how others have hurt me. Or, I can forgive them and release all that negativity in my soul to make room for better stuff.

That is one reason that I choose to seek joy. I've now layered in forgiveness for those who've intentionally hurt me. It feels good but it also feels weird. I'm not used to it yet. But I know when I engage in I will make it the good kind rather than the hurtful kind.

[Selenay]

Originally Posted by Arwen

That's The Giver by Lois B(urton?) and it blew me away when I read it this past year for a class.

It's the first of three novels apparently. I've only read that one.

Lois Lowry, and the trilogy is The Giver, Gathering Blue and Messenger.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Yep, I have swiss cheese for a brain. It happened from an accident when I was a day old, and dropped on my head onto a hardwood floor. My skull was cracked and some major blood vessels tore open.

It still doesn't stop ppl from calling me retard or idiot, the looks when my tic starts, or the negative responses I usually get when my words don't match what my thoughts are, or if I have a seizure in public. It hasn't happened yet.

I think it also has to do with how ppl are perceived. Superfemme is perceived one way, and I am another. If we both were laying on the ground unconscious, who do you think ppl would go to first? My bet is on Superfemme without a doubt.

I believe that most ppl fear the unknown. It was like when my adopted father had his stroke. He lost the left side of his body. One day he was walking to the mailbox using his walker, and his neighbors seeing this, waved hi to him, but did not stop to chat as was the usual. Having good health is a gift. When you don't have it, and you have chronic health problems, it changes you. You don't see life and living as the same as someone who is healthy.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Yep, I have swiss cheese for a brain. It happened from an accident when I was a day old, and dropped on my head onto a hardwood floor. My skull was cracked and some major blood vessels tore open.

It still doesn't stop ppl from calling me retard or idiot, the looks when my tic starts, or the negative responses I usually get when my words don't match what my thoughts are, or if I have a seizure in public. It hasn't happened yet.

I think it also has to do with how ppl are perceived. Superfemme is perceived one way, and I am another. If we both were laying on the ground unconscious, who do you think ppl would go to first? My bet is on Superfemme without a doubt.

I believe that most ppl fear the unknown. It was like when my adopted father had his stroke. He lost the left side of his body. One day he was walking to the mailbox using his walker, and his neighbors seeing this, waved hi to him, but did not stop to chat as was the usual. Having good health is a gift. When you don't have it, and you have chronic health problems, it changes you. You don't see life and living as the same as someone who is healthy.

I think this is a great lesson in SELF perception. Because I have had many seizures in public Woodie. Hmm. Let me give you a few examples. One time I had a doozie of a seizure in the supermarket. When I came to the store security was pointing a gun at me.

Two other times I went from having a seizure to nobody helping, calling for help and tried to walk myself home. These two times I was arrested for *drunk in public* despite having a letter from my Neurosurgeon and a seizure card and medic alert bracelet. I blew 0.0 on the breathalyzer and then had forced blood tests. I sat in jail for over eight hours until the results came back. Without apology.

I flew to NM with my family who had decided my head injury was me being dramatic. We got off the shuttle at the car rental place and again I had a doozie. My own fucking family stepped right over me and left me laying on the cement in 102 degree weather. The shuttle driver turned me on my side and talked gently to me. He had a son with epilepsy.

In Vegas in 06 I had a seizure during the Ball at the Bash. Do you remember that? Because everybody walked right by me, and when I was taken to the ladies room by a dear friend? Bash attendee's were coming in and rolling their eyes.

The only place I experienced compassion was in my brain injury school. We all looked out for each other and had a plan of action. The teachers knew my quirks and could tell when I was going to seize. They kept a pillow and blanket in the cupboard and always made sure I didn't get hurt and that I came to in a soft, quiet and safe environment. We all did that for each other because it is kind of like a special club we are in, where only we can truly know...

So the assumption that I get some kind of pretty privilege is hurtful. At the end of the day we are the same. We have these seizures and it scares the bystanders because it is in the realm of the unknown for them. It usually traumatizes them, and then us because we hear the nasty/ignorant comments as we are trying to find our way back to our bodies.

Regardless of the bad experiences I am NOT a victim. I am a fucking MIRACLE and if one person learns something and changes their perspective after witnessing my seizure, then perhaps they will pass it on and the torch of empathy, compassion, and love will burn a little brighter. You are a miracle to Woodie. Not a victim.

I have to say that you hurt my feelings, but only for a second. Because I'm not giving them away.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Superfemme,

Like you, I have had seizures in public. And yes, people walked overtop of me during my seizures. It was at my last job. I was left alone. Afterwards, I peed myself, and vomited. It is all apart of epilespy. I had to give a blood test to my employer to verify I wasn't drunk as well. I also had to hire a lawyer. They tried to fire me for being who and what I was for years. Then to have epilespy was just one more thing to throw in the pot. My employer also tried to have my driver's license taken away from me.

You are not understanding what it is I am trying to say. I apologise to you if I hurt you. That is not my intent. Not at all. And I am the same way as you, but I am trying to bring those who are the "norm" to our world. To build a bridge. Not to make you a victim. That is confusing to me. Perception is different to each one of us. I am very happy you found compassion. I have yet to find it within a group. I have found compassion person by person. That is it. Even in my rehab. group, each one of us was handicapped in different ways. There was no way we could have compassion for each other since we had no clue as to what compassion even was.

Anyway, my apologisies to you. I meant no harm, ugliness, or evilness. I won't be back here. I don't want to get timed out, banned, or anything else.

Andrew

[WolfyOne]

Just wanted to chime in and say what a great thread topic this is. I haven't seen one this good anywhere in a long time. Thanks for getting us started Medusa.