If You *REALLY* knew Me...

[bigbutchmistie]

If you really knew you me you'd know :

How sensitive I am

How I always feel like Im ten feet tall and bullet proof

How Im so blessed but feel very alone all the time

How all my life all Ive ever wanted was a family

How that is an oxymoron cause I dont want to raise kids

How I have been single for 15 of the 16 total years I have been out

How that doesnt bother me. Ive dated all those years enough to know what I want in a partner

How I cant settle for anything less than what I deserve

How I cant be with someone if there isnt "SPARKS" Its there for me or its not. Its quite simple

How I love the little things in a relationship

How I put my friends and dates priority in my life making time for them etc, and demand the same.

How when I feel anything less than, I talk about it, then when its not addressed correctly then I walk away.

How even though I have some self esteem issues over the years Ive gained enough confidence not to be with someone who gives me less than what I need.

You'd know how important my faith is to me

You'd know how I adore my friends

You'd know how much I love my job

How truly blessed I am...

And even though I have a huge giving loving heart, I can still be a big ol GRINCH at Christmas time

How I wish I could meet the perfect femme for me to meet under the mistletoe and wake up to this time of year

How I have never danced or kissed in the rain and I long too

How I love to snuggle

How I value trust, honesty, intimacy, laughter in a relationship before sex.

How those things make sex soooo much better

How I over analyze so much

How I can be my own worst enemy by doing things like that

How I can predict what happens long before it does

How this really screws with me "enjoying the ride"

How its really difficult for me to just "LET GO" and enjoy said ride

How Im thinking I need a patient femme

And how amazing it was to spend the Saturday with the foster mom who raised me for the first half of my life before I was adopted