The Purse: Unpacking Femme Privilege

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by Medusa

We have knapsacks and backpacks, perhaps it's time to stir the things around in the Purse to take a look at Femme Privilege.

Many of us "pass" as straight whether we want to or not.

There is a long list of privileges associated with being Femme in the outside world. Let's talk about them.
I also believe that privilege can be situational. i.e. Femme privilege looks very different on a website geared toward Butches, Femmes, and Queer folks than it does at the supermarket or on the job.

So there it is. Let's have a discussion between Femmes and Feminine-identified people to see if we can do a little unpacking.

I have come in to my own throughout a long metamorphsis. When I first came out 40+ years ago, I presented as butch. This was because it was the closest to what I id. I was raised in a large family with a white collared yankee Dad and a blue collared southern Mom. My Dad was paranoid schizophrenia, abusive, and alcoholic. My Mom was gentle, kind and nurturing. She also could fix anything from a broken washing machine to a child's toy. She appeared tombyish, but she was abused and supressed. I fought my own non hetro id because I reasoned my orientation was due to my poor male role model. So, I got married not once but twice. I have 2 bio children and 1 adopted child. I was only married a total of yrs. As a butch guys didn't hit on me, but I didn't feel comfortable. I met my first love a great butch who allowed me to grow into my skin. Unfortunately, I became aware that I had changed and he didn't unfortunately and we grew apart after 10yrs. I have had a few other longterm relationships but never lasting. I spend one day a week in pampering myself (what I call my femme day). I do feel I have earned my priviledge as a femme. I am capable of letting an interesting guy know I am interested.
If a straight guy hits on me, I am capable of letting him know I am not interested. The difference today then back when I was young, I don't have to qualify with my id. I am confident enough to say thanks but no thanks. I don't have to give a reason. I do believe priviledge is earned. It is not entitlement.