Poly Relationships

[Linus]

Originally Posted by violaine

hi linus

i am going to respond to the sentences below in separate lines, please.


When we think of our lives we love a lot of people for a variety of reasons (e.g., siblings, friends, parents, etc).

yes, i do believe that for people with siblings/parents/friends- a variety of love can exist.



We do not deny our love for them because we decide who should only love one friend or one parent or one sibling, etc.

again, yes- but the type of relationship i would know with a parent/sibling may differ quite a lot dynamics-wise from how i relate to friends, or a person with whom i want to be close to sexually even more so than family or friendships. friendships may turn into relationships or just remain on a platonic level.

True but you do not love one sibling only and not the other, do you? It is a different love than what you have for friends, lovers etc. But it is still love, no?

So why do we limit our deeper loves for only one? (work/busy schedule and other stuff aside).

i can only write that i would not consciously set out to place how much love exists for my relationships family/friends/partner. however, i do have a comment about "unconditional love" - in general, and as i read and relate them to your "5" below.

i have set boundaries in my relationships- family/friends/partner. not exactly unconditonal if there are lines drawn.

thinking about a poly relationship involving clear-cut conversations [defined]and mutual decision-making, et c. how do these go hand in hand with a limitless love [involving more than two people at a time] ?

i understand respect, fairness, communication- listening/talking, honesty, and so on. the term "unconditonal love" throws me because it seems [to me] there's an implication of purity/without limits/perfection/unquestionable- love.


best,
belle

My apologies. Unconditional love wasn't the right term I was thinking of. Unlimited love, perhaps? The idea that love isn't kept to one person is what I was poorly attempting to get at. Boundaries certainly are needed (e.g., will not accept abuse). But limiting ourselves to just one person to get more than platonic love can be limiting.

Does this mean everyone should do it? No. I don't believe we're all hardwired for this nor do we all experience the same history to be able to do this. But it is there for those who do feel it can be part of their lives.