sometimes you hafta say it out loud...

[rlin]

in the couple of days since i wrote this note my health has improved some... i am not making the giant strides that i was making right after the stroke but i am still healing... noticeably too. its a little scary still because i realize how much work that i have to do but i have no idea how to even start or what to do even... i figure whatever i do i am teaching my brain how to be me... so my situation is a win win... no matter what i do... as long as i do...

while i was in the hospital i realized that i had long before checked out on life... when i found out a couple of years ago that i had a problem with my spinal cord i really did throw in the towel... i let all my hopes and aspirations go... i basically let what i was die... bit by bit i dropped out of my life...

while i was in there and i was getting better by leaps and bounds and i realized just how truly fucking lucky i was...

i made a conscious decision to grab hold of what i wanted... this bull shit happened to me right in the nick of time...

the folks who have stepped up to send me some positivity are much appreciated... i got a pamphlet while in there... it basically was warning me that i might become emotional... or 'weepy' i think was the actual word... and by goddess they didnt lie.. at all!... but when i read all this good mojo or hear the personal accounts of folks that have been thru bs like this i know that its a small damned wonder that im a tad weepy...
hell! i feel like a huge raw nerve that is just grabbing hold of as much goodwill as i can grab... for damned sure you folks have offered up enough for me to spread it around!

thanks again yall... for helping this ol country homo realise that there is a helluva lot out there to live for and dream about!!!
i will pay it forward every chance i get!

R