The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

[blueeyes226_l]

Originally Posted by rustedrims

Hey blueeyes226..

sorry to hear about your aunt..we have all sat and stood at friends and familys bedsides..it is hard to watch when ya know you cant help them..

ok blue i have something to say about your mom..my little story and i will try not to make it to long but i got a point to make..

here it goes..i live in ohio and took my mom to indiana to visit family..guess it was getting to me alot cause i wanted to talk to mom about my lifestyle..i was thinking i could tell her in the car during the 4 hour drive..chickened out on the way there and was determined to tell her on the way back..well on the way back we were getting close to the ohio line and still didnt say anything..so told myself i am telling her when we cross the ohio line..ok crossed the line and a few miles i said mom i gotta tell ya something..she just looked at me and said ok..so i told her i was gay and she said I Know..WHAT.!!.Butch woman that looks every bit gay,,thought i was doing a good job of "hiding it"..what a relief..i asked her ,well then why didnt you tell me and she said i was waiting for you to come to me..we talked about things that i didnt realize was being said about me from people in church..fortunately nothing in a negative tone was said..all good things..people know me for my humor..i can make anyone laugh anytime and all the junk i am changing on my house NOT..!!!..Because i am gay..I am a nice person and i let that come through before being gay..

ok with that being said this is for your mom..
as i was talking to my mom about my lifestyle she said she was reading about gay people..guess she was trying to understand why i am like i am..in her readings she said the mother is the one who has "The Gean" [spelling] that determines if the kid is going to be gay or straight..i dont know where she read that from but she is a reader and found it somewhere..might mention it to your mom..maybe do a little reasearch to have something to back ya up..maybe someone in here knows a little about that stuff that can help..
a question i asked my mom....When you were born did you have some kind of form to fill out to choose the lifestyle you wanted to live..??..i told her that i didnt and if i did why would i pick being gay..???.!!!..being made fun of your whole life..maybe if you choose to ask her that question do it where other people can hear it so maybe she will leave you alone about it..dont do it in a mean way..just ask her like you ask could you please pass the mashed potatoes..look her in the eyes and wait for her answer..i asked my mom if she feels different towards me and she said No your my kid and i love you..this kind comes to mind to..a few years ago i had to put my dog to sleep because he got old and warn out..a few days later my mom asked me if i was going to get another dog..kinda threw me a little and i asked her if one of your kids dies are you going to get another kid..??.{there is 4 of us}..she kinda sat back made a mom face and said hummm..same thing..
Blue i am tellin ya when you get the "Gay Card" thrown at ya,ya gotta throw it right back..it takes the wind right out of their sail..i know some days are better than others and you will never stop it but you can slow it down a little..give yourself some time and get your thoughts together..dont pounce on your mom but let her know you are here and you are not going away..
sorry about the length..i get wound up when our lifestyle is questioned and attacked..maybe they are the wrong ones..said that to my mom to..hummm..
let me know how it goes if you question your mom about HER lifestyle..once again sorry about your aunt..my thoughts are with you..

Hey Damselfly..if you find a library some where and get into your reading stuff maybe you can do a little research for Blue..hope you are feeling better..

S..

My mothers health isn't good Thats one reson I moved in with her. My sister all she thinks of is going out of town with her drunk hubbie. I'm here at the house alot. My mother made her Will out and left my daughter some stuff and My sister had the nerve to ask me to go in with her so see My daughter didn't get any thing then she would give me something. I was apalled! I said 1. She is my daughter and 2. that is moms last wishes. No I will not. She blew up at my mom about it. Told her my daughter was a bi_ c_ and she will just sit on it and no one will get any thing. I told her she can't do that. Her replay was oh yes,I can I'm the boss over it. I told her there was 2 other names on it to and there would be 2 agance 1.To say the lest I was pis_ed what she did to mom. When ever Mom is around my sister she gets real snotty, snippy and trys to boss me. I hate that..... My sister is a pice of work to say the less... If my daughters name comes up my sister gets really mad...She has to have that god oh mighty doller. I can't really live Mom u know move away from here because,with her health we could find her gone. It's one heck of a mess here. Any ways Thanks for the hugs and flowers and advice. Hey if I may ask where in Ohio are you around? Where I live is about 2 1/2 hrs from Ohio state line.
Love u all...