Neurodiversity

Andrew, Jr. · 05-02-2011, 04:32 PM

I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this.

Does anyone else?

violaine · 05-02-2011, 10:37 PM

[QUOTE=Andrew, Jr.;331850]
I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this.

Does anyone else?

in school, i probably did not notice being bullied so much. there was one time, i was asked to meet some 'friends' at a specific location; right before i left my house, the phone rang with a warning from a trusted friend who found out the intentions of the people were to pick a fight with me. i had totally missed everything related to their plans, and would have shown up at the spot.

that's human though, and not necessarily spectrum related. i do believe i'm not looking for mean spirited people around every corner, and being on-guard 24/7 would totally wear me out. what i can share with you, andrew, about 'not knowing how to respond' is this, please: processing information can take time- sometimes much longer depending upon wiring, the scenario, health, and many other variables. if i am upset and/or very confused- i will not be able to put into words my feelings- i just feel [and the feeling is enough to know things are not right for me]. later on, i can articulate better the circumstances and how i was effected/affected.

it's like when i used to get lost- maybe pass my own house- and would wonder, what was 'wrong' with me? usually, i was having an anxiety/panic attack and it made sense that i was terribly confused. people who are intentionally unkind may use this in their arsenal- someone may bank on their 'target' feeling too confused to respond immediately - if at all. on one hand, it's a good thing

on the other hand, finding the words- the ones 'perceived' to be the 'right words' can be frustrating if you are needing to be yourself- and just get the words out as an expression of self- in your own way. especially, if you are responding to someone who was unkind [set you up to fail] in the first place!

Andrew, Jr. · 05-03-2011, 09:18 AM

Oh Belle,

I knew you would get it! Yes, I was very much bullied in shcool. It was nothing short of hell for me. I stuck with sports mostly because this. It was a way for me to have a release, like playing tennis and football. I just loved it.

There are some days Belle, I feel like I need one of those GPS's to get me from my house to my car or mailbox. Or I walk by someone and they get mad at me for not saying hi to them. Now I just hug and say hi to everyone. That way nobody gets upset, hurt, or insulted, or whatever.

Now I just wonder about my future a great deal. I think as I have aged and have disabilities, with no family to really speak of, who is going to care for me when and if Rosie dies, or if I have a massive stroke leaving me even more disabled. Life is very hard now, and adding on to this, makes me think a great deal of the future.

Belle, you rock!

Venus007 · 05-03-2011, 10:49 PM

I am tired today. Tired of the neurotypical with their loud voices, shrieking vocalizations, bright lights, clanging banging hubbub. Tired of their secret code of subtext that is different from what they say and that they penalize you for not understanding that they don't say what they mean, you're just supposed to read their minds. Tired of people standing too close, touching without invitation. Tired of strangers or rather non-intimates prying for emotion. I am tired of people today. I want solitude with my dogs. I want to not talk for a week. Today I am tired.

violaine · 05-05-2011, 09:25 AM

do any of you have an aspie support group in your area? there is one here, in orlando at UcF, and some of the presentations are really good.

christie, thought of you with this article:

http://www.theautismnews.com/2009/09...s-for-college/

Andrew, Jr. · 05-05-2011, 09:30 AM

No adult aspie group in my area. However, there is one for children - thank God!

The one thing I will say is this...I wish I could read faces and body language better. I just don't. It goes right over my head.

violaine · 05-05-2011, 09:47 AM

andrew, my friend [i am going to write about in a moment here] is a rocket scientist- literally, and he says the same thing you are writing. he cannot read body language and/or figure out what people are 'thinking.'

have you ever attended any of the groups for young adults/parents/supporters ? that's how i met one of my closest friends; he and i were the only adults there for a while, and the parents/supporters were very interested in our contributions to the group.

just an idea : sometimes if you are in a space to give of yourself, that can be a rewarding experience.

05-02-2011, 04:32 PM	#1
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I have a question... I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this. Does anyone else?

05-02-2011, 10:37 PM	#2
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	[QUOTE=Andrew, Jr.;331850] I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this. Does anyone else? in school, i probably did not notice being bullied so much. there was one time, i was asked to meet some 'friends' at a specific location; right before i left my house, the phone rang with a warning from a trusted friend who found out the intentions of the people were to pick a fight with me. i had totally missed everything related to their plans, and would have shown up at the spot. that's human though, and not necessarily spectrum related. i do believe i'm not looking for mean spirited people around every corner, and being on-guard 24/7 would totally wear me out. what i can share with you, andrew, about 'not knowing how to respond' is this, please: processing information can take time- sometimes much longer depending upon wiring, the scenario, health, and many other variables. if i am upset and/or very confused- i will not be able to put into words my feelings- i just feel [and the feeling is enough to know things are not right for me]. later on, i can articulate better the circumstances and how i was effected/affected. it's like when i used to get lost- maybe pass my own house- and would wonder, what was 'wrong' with me? usually, i was having an anxiety/panic attack and it made sense that i was terribly confused. people who are intentionally unkind may use this in their arsenal- someone may bank on their 'target' feeling too confused to respond immediately - if at all. on one hand, it's a good thing on the other hand, finding the words- the ones 'perceived' to be the 'right words' can be frustrating if you are needing to be yourself- and just get the words out as an expression of self- in your own way. especially, if you are responding to someone who was unkind [set you up to fail] in the first place! Last edited by violaine; 05-02-2011 at 10:48 PM.

05-03-2011, 10:49 PM	#4
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,749 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am tired today. Tired of the neurotypical with their loud voices, shrieking vocalizations, bright lights, clanging banging hubbub. Tired of their secret code of subtext that is different from what they say and that they penalize you for not understanding that they don't say what they mean, you're just supposed to read their minds. Tired of people standing too close, touching without invitation. Tired of strangers or rather non-intimates prying for emotion. I am tired of people today. I want solitude with my dogs. I want to not talk for a week. Today I am tired. __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary Last edited by Venus007; 05-03-2011 at 10:52 PM.

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05-03-2011, 09:18 AM	#3
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Oh Belle, I knew you would get it! Yes, I was very much bullied in shcool. It was nothing short of hell for me. I stuck with sports mostly because this. It was a way for me to have a release, like playing tennis and football. I just loved it. There are some days Belle, I feel like I need one of those GPS's to get me from my house to my car or mailbox. Or I walk by someone and they get mad at me for not saying hi to them. Now I just hug and say hi to everyone. That way nobody gets upset, hurt, or insulted, or whatever. Now I just wonder about my future a great deal. I think as I have aged and have disabilities, with no family to really speak of, who is going to care for me when and if Rosie dies, or if I have a massive stroke leaving me even more disabled. Life is very hard now, and adding on to this, makes me think a great deal of the future. Belle, you rock!

05-05-2011, 09:25 AM	#5
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	do any of you have an aspie support group in your area? there is one here, in orlando at UcF, and some of the presentations are really good. christie, thought of you with this article: http://www.theautismnews.com/2009/09...s-for-college/

05-05-2011, 09:30 AM	#6
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	No adult aspie group in my area. However, there is one for children - thank God! The one thing I will say is this...I wish I could read faces and body language better. I just don't. It goes right over my head.

05-05-2011, 09:47 AM	#7
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	andrew, my friend [i am going to write about in a moment here] is a rocket scientist- literally, and he says the same thing you are writing. he cannot read body language and/or figure out what people are 'thinking.' have you ever attended any of the groups for young adults/parents/supporters ? that's how i met one of my closest friends; he and i were the only adults there for a while, and the parents/supporters were very interested in our contributions to the group. just an idea : sometimes if you are in a space to give of yourself, that can be a rewarding experience.