What influences the order of names in a couple?

princessbelle · 05-18-2011, 07:23 PM

This is interesting and actually i can remember being a child and wondering the same thing. I can remember my mom and dad talking about my aunts and uncles and like you are saying..there was a flow to the names and saying them opposite didn't sound right.

One thing i figured out, at least in my family, we said our family member first and then the "married into the family" name. As in uncle david aunt jackie (David being my father's brother) or Aunt Faye and Uncle Kirby (Faye being my father's sister). That is one thing.

Then on the flip side if my concept is correct, the families of the "married" people would say it opposite.

As far as famous people. I know this rule doesn't apply ALL the time for sure but it seems the more famous the person or more prominate in a show that name comes first. It's just one way to look at it i think.

Elvis and Priscilla
Bill and Hillary
Pebbles and BamBam

Great thread.

girl_dee · 05-18-2011, 07:25 PM

Fred and Ginger, and Ginger was the one backwards in high heels.

Daywalker · 05-18-2011, 07:31 PM

We are often referred to as The Daywalkers or The Days.

Otherwise it comes out as Mr n Mrs Daywalker.

Primarily it is my social practices that brings this
about, as I may or may not be one chatty muther fucker.

Kobi · 05-18-2011, 07:44 PM

Its interesting to see the answers here.

In my own life I have similiar perceptions for the most part. A relative always comes before their spouse.

The person I know better comes before their partner. Sometimes, if I know them long enough, they become interchangeable.

The only exception, that I can think of at the moment, is one brother. His wife always comes first. And, for me, that is because she holds the power....no matter how macho he tries to be.

girl_dee · 05-18-2011, 07:53 PM

Well I can tell ya it's always bugged me that the " male " is always listed first on formal documents.

Tcountry · 05-18-2011, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Well I can tell ya it's always bugged me that the " male " is always listed first on formal documents.

That links back to the "old days" where the male was the head of the household and therefore more formal documents recognize that...

Most of the time I just go with what flows better...or like others have said who I have known longer.

Andrea · 05-18-2011, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tcountry

That links back to the "old days" where the male was the head of the household and therefore more formal documents recognize that...

During the 90's while working for a mortgage company, I had a closer (the person who drew up the closing documents) insist it was the law that the male name went first on the mortgage documents.

Ummmmm....... NO!!!!

Andrea

EnderD_503 · 05-18-2011, 09:34 PM

In my family people also go by who is a direct family member. My mum has brothers and no sisters, and we always use her brothers' names before their wives, with the exception of the eldest brother. For some reason it can go either way with him and his wife. My father has all sisters and no brothers, so his sisters names were always used before their husbands'. Same with cousins etc.

As far as friends, I always use my friends names first over their partners, just because I've known them longer and am not usually friends with their partners as far as I don't really keep contact if they break up.

With people I met as couples, it can either be that I'll refer to the partner I talk most to, or they'll be interchangeable.

JustJo · 05-18-2011, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Well I can tell ya it's always bugged me that the " male " is always listed first on formal documents.

I know that our real estate purchase contract and deeds....it has purchaser /seller...and my divorce documents (all 3 sets) say petitioner / respondent. Nothing on either one about male / female or husband /wife.

No doubt there are some that are listed as you say....but not all of them.

DapperButch · 05-18-2011, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princessbelle

One thing i figured out, at least in my family, we said our family member first and then the "married into the family" name. As in uncle david aunt jackie (David being my father's brother) or Aunt Faye and Uncle Kirby (Faye being my father's sister). That is one thing.

INTERESTING! I never noticed this before, but my family did the same thing. "Blood relative", first, followed by spouse.

DomnNC · 05-18-2011, 08:12 PM

Same here, in regards to family, it's the blood relative first then the married into after. As far as friends go I generally say the most dominant partners name first whether the dominant partner is male or female, femme or butch, etcetcetc, it matters not who the dominant partner is.

scootebaby · 05-18-2011, 08:28 PM

i also do it in order of respect...even in my family..if i respect the non relative more i will put their name first

05-18-2011, 07:23 PM	#1
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	This is interesting and actually i can remember being a child and wondering the same thing. I can remember my mom and dad talking about my aunts and uncles and like you are saying..there was a flow to the names and saying them opposite didn't sound right. One thing i figured out, at least in my family, we said our family member first and then the "married into the family" name. As in uncle david aunt jackie (David being my father's brother) or Aunt Faye and Uncle Kirby (Faye being my father's sister). That is one thing. Then on the flip side if my concept is correct, the families of the "married" people would say it opposite. As far as famous people. I know this rule doesn't apply ALL the time for sure but it seems the more famous the person or more prominate in a show that name comes first. It's just one way to look at it i think. Elvis and Priscilla Bill and Hillary Pebbles and BamBam Great thread. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

05-18-2011, 07:31 PM	#3
Daywalker Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Hippy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 3,750 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,499 Thanked 11,916 Times in 2,700 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	We are often referred to as The Daywalkers or The Days. Otherwise it comes out as Mr n Mrs Daywalker. Primarily it is my social practices that brings this about, as I may or may not be one chatty muther fucker. __________________ www.SirDaywalker.com

05-18-2011, 07:44 PM	#4
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Its interesting to see the answers here. In my own life I have similiar perceptions for the most part. A relative always comes before their spouse. The person I know better comes before their partner. Sometimes, if I know them long enough, they become interchangeable. The only exception, that I can think of at the moment, is one brother. His wife always comes first. And, for me, that is because she holds the power....no matter how macho he tries to be. __________________

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05-18-2011, 07:25 PM	#2
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Fred and Ginger, and Ginger was the one backwards in high heels.

05-18-2011, 07:53 PM	#5
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Well I can tell ya it's always bugged me that the " male " is always listed first on formal documents.

05-18-2011, 09:34 PM	#8
EnderD_503 Member How Do You Identify?: Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?: Male pronouns Relationship Status: Relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 1,329 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,090 Thanked 3,878 Times in 1,022 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	In my family people also go by who is a direct family member. My mum has brothers and no sisters, and we always use her brothers' names before their wives, with the exception of the eldest brother. For some reason it can go either way with him and his wife. My father has all sisters and no brothers, so his sisters names were always used before their husbands'. Same with cousins etc. As far as friends, I always use my friends names first over their partners, just because I've known them longer and am not usually friends with their partners as far as I don't really keep contact if they break up. With people I met as couples, it can either be that I'll refer to the partner I talk most to, or they'll be interchangeable.

05-18-2011, 08:12 PM	#11
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	Same here, in regards to family, it's the blood relative first then the married into after. As far as friends go I generally say the most dominant partners name first whether the dominant partner is male or female, femme or butch, etcetcetc, it matters not who the dominant partner is.

05-18-2011, 08:28 PM	#12
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	i also do it in order of respect...even in my family..if i respect the non relative more i will put their name first