Possible Triggering: Violence against butches.

Originally Posted by Blade

chuckling...yeah I get that a good bit too, or the WIDE EYED look is enough. But have never experienced anything aggressive

D'yanno I've never experienced anything worse than "F*ckin' dykes!" once or twice or the "Get out of the women's bathroom" comments. I don't recall anyone having been aggressive because I'm quite obviously queer. Have I been lucky in the 20 odd years I've been 'out'?. I don't think so, I think it's more about how we deal with the world and people around us. I am pretty lucky that I live in a town with a significant gay population though.

Eeeek citybutch, that was rough luck.

[citybutch]

Oh yes... lot's of "fucking dyke" comments....

When I owned a woman's bookstore we had a lot of violence directed our way...

-bullet holes in the windows
-pornographic images of men's penises stuffed into our doorway at night
-harrassing phone calls
-young boys daring each other to run in circling the store yelling "fucking dykes"
-obscene graffiti sprayed on the side of our building

I could go on and on...

Originally Posted by Incubus

D'yanno I've never experienced anything worse than "F*ckin' dykes!" once or twice or the "Get out of the women's bathroom" comments. I don't recall anyone having been aggressive because I'm quite obviously queer. Have I been lucky in the 20 odd years I've been 'out'?. I don't think so, I think it's more about how we deal with the world and people around us. I am pretty lucky that I live in a town with a significant gay population though.

Eeeek citybutch, that was rough luck.

[AtLast]

I have been assaulted physically and sexually as both a butch lesbian and as a het woman in my lifetime. Certainly have had more assualtive behavior towards me as a butch.

I live in the East Bay Area of CA right near Richmond where a butch woman was kidnapped, beaten raped and left for dead a couple of years ago. The trial is going to start soon. There have been several benefits to raise $ for her and her partner and their kids.

Thanks for starting this thread- I am well aware of the attacks on our trans community, especially transwomen (highest percent), but we don't seem to focus on the unique elements of assualts (homophobia) on both butches and femmes (women, no matter the sexuality are victims of sexual and domestic violence far more than men). And we need to help fight against all forms of violence against our community.

I don't want anyone in queerdom to be subject to violence. Be safe out there!

[Greyson]

When I was a baby butch about 19 years old, I was sitting in a park with my girlfriend in downtown Albuquerque, N.M. A group of about four teenaged, young adult cismen came along and started to make vile remarks. I told my girlfriend to run. I have an orthopedic limitation and cannot run. I can walk fast and look very intimidating.

I got shoved a bit and I kept moving. I walked into downtown traffic made it to the other side of the street hopped on a bus that happened to be pulling away from the curb. The bus driver was an African American woman and must of seen what was going on. As soon as I was on the bus she closed the doors and pulled the bus into traffic. One of the teen boys, took some sort of pipe, club he had and smashed a bus window as it was pulling away from the curb.

I got very lucky and my girlfriend was not harmed. In hindsight, we realized they did not go after my girlfriend and their remarks were all directed at me. I was a Butch that fit the nongender conforming presentation.

I have had beverages thrown out of moving cars thrown at me as I walked down the street, various looks, profanity, racial and homophobic slurs. I did get punched one time when I was the bouncer at a lesbian bar in Los Angeles. It was a straight guy that thought he should be able to come into the club and help us see the light so to speak. When he saw that I had a back up team of about four other butches ready to enlighten him, he left.

I'm in my 50's and this stuff was in the 70's. Stonewall was only a few years behind us. I did meet many of the Butches and Femmes that came before my generation. They were the ones that really took a great deal of grief to live their lives, and pave the way for us.

[kaka]

I am butch and have been ridiculed alot when i was a teen, I know what its like to be gay and have to hide especially if you live in a red neck state and city. And all this was in the late 70's.

[Merlin]

I get the stares,the name calls - have had freak loads ..
Lemon,dyke,un - natural .. Etc etc.
Never been roughed up ..

Try to have a thick skin but names can hurt more than a smack.

[Quintease]

My boyfriend was knocked out cold in a homophobic attack once, when he still appeared female. He says it still makes him nervous in certain situations even now.

[Lillie]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

I have been assaulted physically and sexually as both a butch lesbian and as a het woman in my lifetime. Certainly have had more assualtive behavior towards me as a butch.

I live in the East Bay Area of CA right near Richmond where a butch woman was kidnapped, beaten raped and left for dead a couple of years ago. The trial is going to start soon. There have been several benefits to raise $ for her and her partner and their kids.

Thanks for starting this thread- I am well aware of the attacks on our trans community, especially transwomen (highest percent), but we don't seem to focus on the unique elements of assualts (homophobia) on both butches and femmes (women, no matter the sexuality are victims of sexual and domestic violence far more than men). And we need to help fight against all forms of violence against our community.

I don't want anyone in queerdom to be subject to violence. Be safe out there!

This is a great thread and bringing to light alot of sadness to some..however I do need to disagree with your one statement about (woman no matter what sexuality are victims of sexual and domestic violence far more than men)..knowing of a few stories over the years, I believe men fall victim just as much if not more at times then woman but it goes unreported due to shame or fear. I have a friend who's husband was raped in a walmart bathroom about a year ago..he did not report it even to her..this rapist then followed him home and about 5 months later when he was alone attacked him again in his own home..driving a screwdriver through his cheek and shoving nails through his testicals and a few other horrifying things. He is and will probably always be traumatized. he is in a support group currently and believe me when I tell you..there are alot of men out there.

Violence against anyone for being human is an astrocity..gay, straight, bi, trans, men, woman or child..

I am sorry for anyone in the community who has had anything violent happen to them. Being femme I have only had to deal with being "the fucking dyke" now an again..

have a great sunday!

[Linus]

Uh.. would anyone have any objections if I added "Possibly Triggering" at the beginning of the topic? Given some of the graphic descriptions that have appeared and that might yet appear, I can imagine that this might be a bit distressing for some.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Linus

Uh.. would anyone have any objections if I added "Possibly Triggering" at the beginning of the topic? Given some of the graphic descriptions that have appeared and that might yet appear, I can imagine that this might be a bit distressing for some.

Linus- I do object. Would you add "Triggering" to threads about violence against transpeople, or femmes? Or, Stone sexuality, BDSM, etc. threads all within their respective Zones? Doing this is distressing to me because the thread is within the Butch Zone.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Linus- I do object. Would you add "Triggering" to threads about violence against transpeople, or femmes? Or, Stone sexuality, BDSM, etc. threads all within their respective Zones? Doing this is distressing to me because the thread is within the Butch Zone.

Actually, if it got as graphic and might potentially cause someone to relive an attack, yes I would. It's not the who but the what. I can remove it but I was trying to be sensitive to those that may end up reliving attacks as a result of reading here and not realizing how graphic the discussion might get.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Lillie

This is a great thread and bringing to light alot of sadness to some..however I do need to disagree with your one statement about (woman no matter what sexuality are victims of sexual and domestic violence far more than men)..knowing of a few stories over the years, I believe men fall victim just as much if not more at times then woman but it goes unreported due to shame or fear. I have a friend who's husband was raped in a walmart bathroom about a year ago..he did not report it even to her..this rapist then followed him home and about 5 months later when he was alone attacked him again in his own home..driving a screwdriver through his cheek and shoving nails through his testicals and a few other horrifying things. He is and will probably always be traumatized. he is in a support group currently and believe me when I tell you..there are alot of men out there.

Violence against anyone for being human is an astrocity..gay, straight, bi, trans, men, woman or child..

I am sorry for anyone in the community who has had anything violent happen to them. Being femme I have only had to deal with being "the fucking dyke" now an again..

have a great sunday!

I do see your point and violence against anyone is not OK. Statistics do overwhelmingly fall on the side of women being victims of violence in the US. Yes, men often do not report- especially if it is domestic violence they are experiencing- which is horrible because this is based upon sexist ideology.

My son was sexually abused at 13 by a woman (age 36)- I know very well and personally men and boys are victims of violence and sex abuse.

The thread is about violence to butches and in the Butch Zone. There are unique circumstances surrounding the types and kinds of violence we are subjected to and it is legitimate to discuss this. Sometimes, we need a space to talk about things that we experience as butches. This does not negate any other experiences of our entire community.

In no way do I think that violence against butches is more important or more horrible than violence against any other group of people. As a practicing psychologist for many years and a professor of psycology, I certainly saw the horror of this kind of victimization to every type and kind of human being. I read the research (still do as a retired person).

Frankly, I take issue with being snarked at in a butch thread within the butch Zone. If I went into a trans or femme thread within those specific forum Zones and made a crack like this, it wouldn't go over well- and it shouldn't. Avery different thing than threads that are in the general forum zone areas.