Healthy Weight Loss

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Inked_Trinity

Good morning everyone! Just got home from the gym. Went 6 hard rounds with my trainer this morning. I have a feeling I'm going to be a little sore tomorrow, took some good body shots. Had my protein shake for breakfast and I have dropped 1lb. Only 14 more to go! FIGHT ON!

Hope you aren't too sore come morning light. You got this!

[Rockinonahigh]

I kinda fell off the wagon seat this morning,I ate a hunybun oooooo it was so good,did I feel guilty noooooooo I did not.What is qing up my stomach is eating a bit of roast,potatos( very small one) then less than a half hour haveing a bowl of near frozen peaches with cottage cheese.It was hot cause the ac had been on the fritz and the place hadnt cooled off well enough..yet.
I havent eaten that much so close together in a long time,u can bet it will be a longer time before I do it again.As Scarlett said ..tomorrow is another day.

[Inked_Trinity]

UGH!!!!! I am so sore today. I can't let the pain stop me from going to the gym tonight. I have to be a little bit crazy to enjoy boxing so much. I really just want to go back to bed, skip work and everything else today. I keep telling myself... what do you want? And what are you willing to do to get it? It's not helping this morning! UNMOTIVATED!

[JustJo]

Baked chicken and two bowls of salad for dinner last night.

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hey sweetfemme,

I know how hard this is. Long story, but my family is highly critical...particularly around issues of weight. Since they are naturally slim and athletically built people, and I take after the other (round and soft) side of the family, they really couldn't relate to me or my realities.

One of the things that I found helpful is to call them out on it (and, yes, that's difficult). Generally, people who make passive-aggressive nasty or ciritical remarks aren't expecting for you to respond other than by being hurt.

I'm not saying get into a huge argument.....but a calm honest response that questions them can be remarkably effective.

My mother couldn't speak for about 5 minutes the first time I responded with "So Mom, the last few times I've seen you, you've made critical remarks about my weight. Do you honestly think that the most important thing about me is the size of my waist?"

It might not have been the most brilliant question, but it did slow her down.
After that, every time she'd be critical I'd call it out and question if that's what she really meant to say, and if she was actually defining me and our relationship by my weight.

Eventually, she stopped.

I'm not promising anything....but people who use sarcasm and criticism to control others aren't usually prepared for calm, honest confrontation.

Just something to think about....and wishing you the best.

Jo,

I know this reality all too well, having so many people remind Me constantly about My weight and how I'm a "big" person. I get it I'm fat, I see it everyday and I encounter the bullshit that comes along with it everyday of My life. Last night I went to visit My best friend L and her boyfriend J, with whom I had a falling out with the other day though we talked things out before it ended our friendships. J is not a big guy though he does have a beer gut, and he is constantly making fun of My weight ~ if I try and tell him that it hurts Me and that I want it to stop his famous remark is "suck it up princess". Why should I? Just because he's used to stick thin people being in his life, why should I deal with that kind of negativity? Me and him bug one another, which is fine I can deal with it, but his biggest thing is to use My weight against Me like its funny.

I hate the fact that so many people define one's relationship with another person based on their weight. I totally understand health concerns and such, but there is no excuse for making fun of someone just because they are overweight ~ there's no excuse for it. I don't make fun of people for anything, whether it be overweight or something else, because I know how much that kind of thing hurts. I like your approach to your mom and how you handled her criticism of you but I just wonder, how do you handle someone who is constantly using your weight against you? When they are not rational or think its just plain funny to make fun of you, how do you really make them understand that its not okay? I'm still trying to figure this out and short of telling him to eff off and get out of My life, I don't know what else to do ~ I'm at a loss here.

Anyways enough of a thread derail, I hope that everyone has a fantastic day and that everyone's weight loss is on track :-)

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Matthew

...how do you handle someone who is constantly using your weight against you? When they are not rational or think its just plain funny to make fun of you, how do you really make them understand that its not okay? I'm still trying to figure this out and short of telling him to eff off and get out of My life, I don't know what else to do ~ I'm at a loss here.

Sounds to me as if you are describing a bully, perhaps your answers can be found in that direction.

[PinkieLee]

(((Matthew)))

I am so sorry that you've got this "friend" in your life, that is using your weight as a bullying tool. Honey, that is NOT cool! I don't care how long I've known someone or what their relationship is to me... if you disrepect me or cause me pain ~ you can get the hell out of my life!

Life is too short to center yourself around that kind of negativity. You need to surround yourself with people (family & friends included) that support you, your goals and the positive changes you are making in your life. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." You are well on your way Matthew... do not give away your power or self-confidence.

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by Matthew

how do you handle someone who is constantly using your weight against you? When they are not rational or think its just plain funny to make fun of you, how do you really make them understand that its not okay? I'm still trying to figure this out and short of telling him to eff off and get out of My life, I don't know what else to do ~ I'm at a loss here.

Anyways enough of a thread derail, I hope that everyone has a fantastic day and that everyone's weight loss is on track :-)

Hi Matthew,

It's not a derail at all. I think that a lot of us have dealt with people like this and it's painful and difficult...and that feeds into the negativity that pushes some of those emotional eating buttons...so it's a vicious circle.

Originally Posted by Liam

Sounds to me as if you are describing a bully, perhaps your answers can be found in that direction.

I agree with Liam. People who honestly think it's funny to hurt other people after being alerted to the fact that their comments are painful ....for me, those are bullies or worse.

I certainly don't have all the answers but, for me, I try to be firm and straightforward and let them know that what they're doing isn't okay with me and that, if it continues, I'm done.

If they continue...then I really am done. I create distance, and silence. For how long? It depends. There are people I've cut completely out of my life. There were others that I distanced from long enough that they got the message and changed their behavior towards me.

Honestly, I think some people are just plain toxic...and I'm better off with them out of my life.

It's one of those tough calls that everyone has to make for themselves.

Wishing you the best on figuring this out.

And.....just because....anyone who called me a friend and then said "suck it up princess" after I honestly and directly told them they were hurting me? They'd get more than a "fuck off". But that's just me.