Dating women with children, any thoughts?

Tcountry · 08-18-2011, 11:47 PM

Dating 101:
How long have you been talking and what are the current intentions?If you have been talking for a long time and the delay in the first meeting is because of distance...
If intentions are long term
If you have actually had a phone convo with the kids

What is the event schedule for this first meeting?Are you meeting mother and kids for dinner and then getting "us time" with just the mother?

How old are the kids and how out/open is the mother?The kids are teenagers, the mom could be very open with them. They could be, like Radiant indicated, the BS meters...lol
Younger kids attach easier and faster (or the ones I have met)
How close is mom to the kids father? How close are the kids?

What is the mother's thought process as to your meeting the kids, and what would you be introduced as?Why is she wanting you to meet them first meeting?
Will you be her "friend", someone she wants to date, etc etc...?

AND these are just the questions I can think of at the moment.
A lot of it has to do with the mother and her intentions and actions/feelings...not only about you but about dating and about her kids.
I have been in a relationship where the father lived in the same town and we all celebrated major holidays together...
I have talked to one lady and during one of the first phone convos talked to her teenage daughter(by daughter's request)...

It is all relivant and every family is as different as every individual person here...I would advise you to keep communication honest and clear before during and after first meeting.

IF you have any doubts or hesitations...please voice them BEFORE you ever meet the kids.

All the living together, and parenting, and stuff like that advise would come later...lol

That is all I have for now.... *tip hat* good luck!

always2late · 08-19-2011, 12:21 AM

After reading the posts, as a mom, I'd like to add my two cents. From what was written, it seems that you will be meeting the kids the first time the two of you meet. No disrespect towards you or your date, but I don't think that's such a good idea. I've never let my son meet anyone I've dated on our first date, and especially not the first time I've ever met in person. Again, this is not meant to be disrespectful, but you never REALLY know someone until you spend some actual face-time with them. I just think a first meeting is way too soon to involve the kids.

Mtn · 08-19-2011, 01:50 AM

I was blessed with three beautiful children out of relationships, all when they were about 5, they remain MINE to this day, (Laura RIP), They were always first, and responded to the love they felt all around. As I have gotten older and been with women with adult children, they have become mine as well, and I cherish those relationships. I have always understood my place, and respected their relationships with their Mom. Syl has a 15 and 18 yr old, and we are developing relationships. Some days are good and some days are not,lol. Be real, be PRESENT, respect everyone, and understand that no matter how old they are they will call crying and YOUR needs will not matter a hooot. Best of luck!

08-18-2011, 11:47 PM	#1
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	$.02 from T Dating 101: How long have you been talking and what are the current intentions?If you have been talking for a long time and the delay in the first meeting is because of distance... If intentions are long term If you have actually had a phone convo with the kids What is the event schedule for this first meeting?Are you meeting mother and kids for dinner and then getting "us time" with just the mother? How old are the kids and how out/open is the mother?The kids are teenagers, the mom could be very open with them. They could be, like Radiant indicated, the BS meters...lol Younger kids attach easier and faster (or the ones I have met) How close is mom to the kids father? How close are the kids? What is the mother's thought process as to your meeting the kids, and what would you be introduced as?Why is she wanting you to meet them first meeting? Will you be her "friend", someone she wants to date, etc etc...? AND these are just the questions I can think of at the moment. A lot of it has to do with the mother and her intentions and actions/feelings...not only about you but about dating and about her kids. I have been in a relationship where the father lived in the same town and we all celebrated major holidays together... I have talked to one lady and during one of the first phone convos talked to her teenage daughter(by daughter's request)... It is all relivant and every family is as different as every individual person here...I would advise you to keep communication honest and clear before during and after first meeting. IF you have any doubts or hesitations...please voice them BEFORE you ever meet the kids. All the living together, and parenting, and stuff like that advise would come later...lol That is all I have for now.... tip hat good luck! __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

08-19-2011, 12:21 AM	#2
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	After reading the posts, as a mom, I'd like to add my two cents. From what was written, it seems that you will be meeting the kids the first time the two of you meet. No disrespect towards you or your date, but I don't think that's such a good idea. I've never let my son meet anyone I've dated on our first date, and especially not the first time I've ever met in person. Again, this is not meant to be disrespectful, but you never REALLY know someone until you spend some actual face-time with them. I just think a first meeting is way too soon to involve the kids. __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

08-19-2011, 01:50 AM	#3
Mtn Member How Do You Identify?: Stone butch, daddy type Relationship Status: sylvie calls me her studmuffin Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: OR Posts: 691 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,005 Thanked 3,834 Times in 617 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I was blessed with three beautiful children out of relationships, all when they were about 5, they remain MINE to this day, (Laura RIP), They were always first, and responded to the love they felt all around. As I have gotten older and been with women with adult children, they have become mine as well, and I cherish those relationships. I have always understood my place, and respected their relationships with their Mom. Syl has a 15 and 18 yr old, and we are developing relationships. Some days are good and some days are not,lol. Be real, be PRESENT, respect everyone, and understand that no matter how old they are they will call crying and YOUR needs will not matter a hooot. Best of luck! __________________ If you don't sleep in my bed, or sign my paycheck, your opinion probably does not matter to me...

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