What TO DO in a relationship.....

[girl_dee]

Talk it out, and take notes!

[deb_U_taunt]

I am guilty of doing too much. So much so, I end up being mommie.
I come across as not needing others. but its not true.
I need to have higher expectations of others, but less of me.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Debby

I am guilty of doing too much. So much so, I end up being mommie.
I come across as not needing others. but its not true.
I need to have higher expectations of others, but less of me.

Exactly! I do this too! For the first time, NOT this time!

[deb_U_taunt]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Exactly! I do this too! For the first time, NOT this time!

It's a hard pattern to break. I have a hard time letting go and allowing things to just not get done.

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by Debby

It's a hard pattern to break. I have a hard time letting go and allowing things to just not get done.

I would never be in a committed relationship with someone who didn't have the same work ethic as me. We are a team, team mates pitch in, join forces and help each other. I think that's a perk of having a partner. Even if my "wife" loved to make her own jewlery, I don't know the first thing about it. And it doesn't interest me in the least. But if she needed help, I'd do whatever she told me to do. I'd learn quickly, so I could help. If I lived with someone, they wouldn't have to tell me what they need , I could see it for myself and just do it. I think it's all part of the package. It's the least I can do. If she decided she wanted to paint the living room, first thing Sat. morning I'd have everything set up ready to go, probably before she even got up. Any project she decided to start, would automatically become my project too, unless she told me to get lost. hahaha

[deb_U_taunt]

Originally Posted by JAGG

I would never be in a committed relationship with someone who didn't have the same work ethic as me. We are a team, team mates pitch in, join forces and help each other. I think that's a perk of having a partner. Even if my "wife" loved to make her own jewlery, I don't know the first thing about it. And it doesn't interest me in the least. But if she needed help, I'd do whatever she told me to do. I'd learn quickly, so I could help. If I lived with someone, they wouldn't have to tell me what they need , I could see it for myself and just do it. I think it's all part of the package. It's the least I can do. If she decided she wanted to paint the living room, first thing Sat. morning I'd have everything set up ready to go, probably before she even got up. Any project she decided to start, would automatically become my project too, unless she told me to get lost. hahaha

I have a really strong work ethic and it is a sickness I was told. lol
I think knocking out a wall to rearrange the house is fun.
My yard looks so bad right now. It's embarrassing, it feels like a reflection of being lazy.

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by Debby

I have a really strong work ethic and it is a sickness I was told. lol
I think knocking out a wall to rearrange the house is fun.
My yard looks so bad right now. It's embarrassing, it feels like a reflection of being lazy.

It has been my experience that who ever says that a strong work ethic is a sickness , is just trying to justify their laziness. And maybe manipulate you into not doing so much. That way they don't appear to be so lazy, and the more you do the more they know you are going to resent them not helping. So if they can get you to slow down, or stop, all the better for them. They also know sooner or later you are probably going to expect them to help, that's what they are trying to avoid.
Am I right or am I right?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Debby

I am guilty of doing too much. So much so, I end up being mommie.
I come across as not needing others. but its not true.
I need to have higher expectations of others, but less of me.

I joke I am a recovering perfectionist but it is kind of true.

My parents would always say to not start something if you are not going to finish it and something worth doing is worth doing right.

Yes they were full of old sayings but I do believe that they are correct and I do always try to live up to ones like these.

I know to rein myself back though when I have done a good job and to stop focusing on perfection-yes, I do know it does not exist

I also know that not everyone lives by these standards and I have been guilty of jumping in and finishing a half-done project (after waiting a couple of months for it to be finished).

[deb_U_taunt]

I have been working so hard lately to not finish or clean up after others or to not take responsibility for things not mine to take on.

Originally Posted by Anya/Georgia

I joke I am a recovering perfectionist but it is kind of true.

My parents would always say to not start something if you are not going to finish it and something worth doing is worth doing right.

Yes they were full of old sayings but I do believe that they are correct and I do always try to live up to ones like these.

I know to rein myself back though when I have done a good job and to stop focusing on perfection-yes, I do know it does not exist

I also know that not everyone lives by these standards and I have been guilty of jumping in and finishing a half-done project (after waiting a couple of months for it to be finished).

[Dominique]

UNDERSTAND not everyone's circadian rhythm is the same as yours

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Debby

I have been working so hard lately to not finish or clean up after others or to not take responsibility for things not mine to take on.

Exactly, it's my personality, I start doing some small task and before you know it I own all of it.("PLEASE let me do ALL of that")..then it's mine, then i feel overwhelmed with the chore, then I complain no one will help me, then I implode.

Learning to do things differently now..

[Janny]

Close your eyes, hold on tight, and wait 'til it passes.

[sara-bera]

Listen.

Think before you speak.

Pay attention to the good stuff and live in the moment.