Ask a trans person!

[julieisafemme]

I hope it is ok for me to respond here. I wanted to answer Theo's question about why a lesbian Femme would partner with a transman or TG Butch.

I am a lesbian Femme. I am a woman. I am partnered with a Transmasculine Butch who has transitioned. He does not use the descriptor FTM for his identity. I am attracted to queer masculinity. My partner has that. I have met some transmen who do not have a Butch feeling to them. So all I can tell you is that I am drawn to Butch energy in whatever form it may take. I could also partner with a female identified Butch. I met my partner and he and I clicked immediately. I fell in love with him, the person.

My partner does not identify as a lesbian. I do. I don't see any issue with that and I do not feel the need to change my identity. Queer probably defines me better because that encompasses his gender identity.

I have to agree with you Theo that this site is not only for lesbian Butches and Femmes. My partner is Butch. He is not a lesbian.

Originally Posted by theoddz

Okay, I'll bite.

Here's a little background on me, so you'll know exactly where my answers are coming from. Please don't read into my answers and take them for what another guy might say from his own experiences and/or perspective. I own only my own response.

I'm 50 years old, completely and legally transitioned (Female to Male), and some/most may also label me as "transexual". I've been on T (Testosterone) for nearly 5 years now and I began my physical, medical and legal transition at the age of 45. Before that, I ID'd as a Stone Butch, and before that, as a lesbian, but that was because that was the only thing I knew. It was the closest thing to "fitting" than the alternative, which was straight woman. I came out as a "gay woman" when I was 19 years old, amongst the rough and tough world of the Women Marines. We were probably what you'd call "dykes"....tough ones. Oh, and incidentally, I was a member here on these sites before I began medical/physical/legal transition, so a lot of the community here knew me before, when I ID'd as Stone Butch.....but not "female" ID'd.

Now for your questions:


1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes? The dyke/queer world was my community before I transitioned, so why would they or the GLBTQ community at large, stop being my community?? I've had friendship, community and acceptance here, so I see no reason why I should leave.

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women? Who says I am interested in having a sexual/romantic relationship with a gay woman?? This is my community, not necessarily a "dating pool" for me. I don't look at it that way, but since you asked, the women I am attracted to, and who are attracted to guys like me tend to fall within the "Queer" spectrum and that may or may not overlap into different sexual orientations for these women. That's their business. I guess you'd have to ask some of the women of this community why they are attracted to men like me. I'm here for the community, not a hookup, or necessarily a relationship. This site is not gay/lesbian exclusive...it is "Queer". There are many women here who see me as the man I am and are attracted to me for just that.

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women? My sexual orientation is Queer. My sexual orientation has nothing to do with my gender ID. Again, this site is also for Queer ID'd people. This site is ****NOT**** just for lesbian butch and femme women.

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here? Probably much the same, I expect, and I would imagine that it would probably have much to do with how he would/might conduct himself. Respect is the key here. I don't think I've ever been disrespectful to any of the other members here and I can't say that anyone has ever been disrespectful to me. I think we all are looking for acceptance and community.

I hope that helps.

~Theo~