Relationships - What things do you want & need?

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by cybersuebee

I guess there are some basic things we all want in a partner, otherwise it's just being with someone because we don't want to be alone. But what I've learned over the years is that it's the person's soul I fall in love with. Pretty much everything else is negotiable.

For me this is true. Anyone I've ever been with I knew instantly. In fact I can sometimes see a name, never meet someone face to face but somehow know they will be in my life even if just passing through. I've always had this. The only difference today, for me is that I dont try and project shit that isnt there. When you're younger you fall in lust and your mind starts creating a relationship based on what you need and desire. You build this perfect love in your mind & heart then when they fall short you're disappointed and its downhill from there.

My honey is a man in every sense of the word. If you asked me 10 years ago if I'd ever date a man I'd laugh at you. In fact my family thought I was teasing them at first. But you see that isnt an issue here because right away we made a soulful connection, not based on what we had or what gender we are. Now it did scare the shit out of us because we had never done that before, quite like that but as we talked, learned more about how compatible we are the more drawn we were to be together.

You can have all the lust and fireworks in the world but if you're not on the same page you'll struggle. I could have enjoyed him, the ride but I partner with him because we share the same moral convictions, lifestyle interest, animals, spiritual, etc. We are almost the same in many ways yet different and definitely a masculine/feminine dynamic which is important to both of us. In fact essential.

For me it has to make sense. Otherwise I'm happy to love someone, laugh with them and be close without sharing my life. Sharing my life, a marriage, etc. requires a hearty foundation.