Office Etiquette / Advice

princessbelle · 09-21-2011, 08:26 AM

Gosh, i've never thought of putting up a mirror either. It does make sense. I think many of us have jumped like a cat straight up in the air with claws in the ceiling when you are all busy working and some says "hey" right behind your ear.

But, looking at this from all angles, I can sorta understand the other girl's position too. Not that i agree, but i have worked in enough office situations to understand how someone could feel violated in some sort of way if another party had a mirror for any reason and could see someone else.

It's kinda like having a fake mirror in front of you at work not knowing if management or anyone was staring at you or not. It's loss of control over what someone is doing "to" you.

I'm assuming you are in a cube without a real door or just shutting the door and putting a bell or something on it would alert you if someone came in.

I have a couple of suggestions, for what they are worth...

1. Put a sign on the outside of cubbie that says...please knock. I've seen this in cubbies before when people have their backs to the door opening.

2. Try to get to know this person, as others have said and maybe change out work space. You said your back is to the door so i'm assuming her's isn't? Maybe ask her for advice. Putting the hat on her she may be more understanding and help you solve the problem which she may find herself solving it with the mirror anyway.

3. One man that i worked with in a cubbie was answering the phone all day and had on ear phones and didn't want to be scared to death so he got a simple rope, like you tie on your car when you haul something and put up thumb tacs in each side of the cubbie and made a sort of velvet rope type thing across his door. Then we had to get his attention from the cubbie entrance to open it to let us in.

4. Absolutely talk to your sups about it if talking to your rommie doesn't work. If you are a neebie and she is just coming back after being off work, her attitude doesn't sound like she will just let this drop. Talk to them before she does and get suggestions from them as to what to do.

A simple snap snap with the cubbie desk parts and a rearrange could solve the whole thing.

Good luck and keep us posted!!!!

Gayla · 09-21-2011, 08:35 AM

I spent 6 years in cube land. We all had mirrors. It was a non issue.

Don't take it down.

*Anya* · 09-21-2011, 11:57 AM

It is always better to try to work something out rather than to take an inflexible stand. You have been at your job for 1 and a half months/during which time your co-worker was out with an injury. We have no way of knowing what happened to her! You are new to each other.

As a manager, someone new that comes into a job and is not flexible gets a bad name. You do not have any senority. You can always make a stand but must ask yourself, in this economy is your mirror worth more than the possibility of losing your job? If they hire "at will" this means that they can fire with no cause at all. Of course none of this is fair but it it the way it is.

Every day in our stressful, overloaded work environments, my co-workers and I use as our mantra: Pick your battles.

Just giving you another perspective to think about.

Dominique · 09-21-2011, 02:32 PM

OOhh yeah, Anya...Nat. Especially if you are on a 90 day probation....

I was actually thinking about this. Maybe you've tried this. Invite her to sit at your desk and see for her self what your little mirror see's, and while she is sitting there, enter the cube. So she can see what it is for!

nycfem · 09-21-2011, 02:34 PM

Maybe she is self-conscious because she likes to pick her nose while she works

turasultana · 09-21-2011, 02:50 PM

Everybody has a mirror in cubeland. its even a promo item at trade shows.

she's paranoid. don't be bullied.

Dominique · 09-21-2011, 03:06 PM

I'm not sure what the culture of Nat's cubeland is.....When I was in the Hotel Business, I oversaw the reservations Department, and Cubeland was huge and everyone had a big mirror, so they could smile at the customer....still in the Hotel Business, I moved into Operations and Cubeland was smaller, but the cube's were bigger (the one's with the high wall's) so the noise was less and you could inter act with the customers
more privately. We didn't have mirrors, thats where I created the uninviting extra chair. I think every company has a culture that is a little different.

Where I work now, It's every one behind closed doors. That took a while to get used to. I still think he should error on the side of caution, and be sure
he is not rowling up someone. It's not worth it. It may be no big deal. He should ask and seek to compromise.

09-21-2011, 08:26 AM	#1
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Gosh, i've never thought of putting up a mirror either. It does make sense. I think many of us have jumped like a cat straight up in the air with claws in the ceiling when you are all busy working and some says "hey" right behind your ear. But, looking at this from all angles, I can sorta understand the other girl's position too. Not that i agree, but i have worked in enough office situations to understand how someone could feel violated in some sort of way if another party had a mirror for any reason and could see someone else. It's kinda like having a fake mirror in front of you at work not knowing if management or anyone was staring at you or not. It's loss of control over what someone is doing "to" you. I'm assuming you are in a cube without a real door or just shutting the door and putting a bell or something on it would alert you if someone came in. I have a couple of suggestions, for what they are worth... 1. Put a sign on the outside of cubbie that says...please knock. I've seen this in cubbies before when people have their backs to the door opening. 2. Try to get to know this person, as others have said and maybe change out work space. You said your back is to the door so i'm assuming her's isn't? Maybe ask her for advice. Putting the hat on her she may be more understanding and help you solve the problem which she may find herself solving it with the mirror anyway. 3. One man that i worked with in a cubbie was answering the phone all day and had on ear phones and didn't want to be scared to death so he got a simple rope, like you tie on your car when you haul something and put up thumb tacs in each side of the cubbie and made a sort of velvet rope type thing across his door. Then we had to get his attention from the cubbie entrance to open it to let us in. 4. Absolutely talk to your sups about it if talking to your rommie doesn't work. If you are a neebie and she is just coming back after being off work, her attitude doesn't sound like she will just let this drop. Talk to them before she does and get suggestions from them as to what to do. A simple snap snap with the cubbie desk parts and a rearrange could solve the whole thing. Good luck and keep us posted!!!! __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

09-21-2011, 11:57 AM	#3
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,455 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	It is always better to try to work something out rather than to take an inflexible stand. You have been at your job for 1 and a half months/during which time your co-worker was out with an injury. We have no way of knowing what happened to her! You are new to each other. As a manager, someone new that comes into a job and is not flexible gets a bad name. You do not have any senority. You can always make a stand but must ask yourself, in this economy is your mirror worth more than the possibility of losing your job? If they hire "at will" this means that they can fire with no cause at all. Of course none of this is fair but it it the way it is. Every day in our stressful, overloaded work environments, my co-workers and I use as our mantra: Pick your battles. Just giving you another perspective to think about. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

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09-21-2011, 08:35 AM	#2
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	I spent 6 years in cube land. We all had mirrors. It was a non issue. Don't take it down.

09-21-2011, 02:32 PM	#4
Dominique Member How Do You Identify?: Female/Lesbian/half the athlete I used to be Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Dates Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: So proud to be a Pittsburgher Posts: 1,484 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,645 Thanked 3,730 Times in 1,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	OOhh yeah, Anya...Nat. Especially if you are on a 90 day probation.... I was actually thinking about this. Maybe you've tried this. Invite her to sit at your desk and see for her self what your little mirror see's, and while she is sitting there, enter the cube. So she can see what it is for!

09-21-2011, 02:34 PM	#5
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,794 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,987 Thanked 21,452 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Maybe she is self-conscious because she likes to pick her nose while she works

09-21-2011, 02:50 PM	#6
turasultana Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: spoken for Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: brooklyn Posts: 432 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 226 Thanked 713 Times in 249 Posts Rep Power: 2043785	Everybody has a mirror in cubeland. its even a promo item at trade shows. she's paranoid. don't be bullied.

09-21-2011, 03:06 PM	#7
Dominique Member How Do You Identify?: Female/Lesbian/half the athlete I used to be Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Dates Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: So proud to be a Pittsburgher Posts: 1,484 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,645 Thanked 3,730 Times in 1,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm not sure what the culture of Nat's cubeland is.....When I was in the Hotel Business, I oversaw the reservations Department, and Cubeland was huge and everyone had a big mirror, so they could smile at the customer....still in the Hotel Business, I moved into Operations and Cubeland was smaller, but the cube's were bigger (the one's with the high wall's) so the noise was less and you could inter act with the customers more privately. We didn't have mirrors, thats where I created the uninviting extra chair. I think every company has a culture that is a little different. Where I work now, It's every one behind closed doors. That took a while to get used to. I still think he should error on the side of caution, and be sure he is not rowling up someone. It's not worth it. It may be no big deal. He should ask and seek to compromise.