Office Etiquette / Advice

turasultana · 09-21-2011, 02:50 PM

Everybody has a mirror in cubeland. its even a promo item at trade shows.

she's paranoid. don't be bullied.

Dominique · 09-21-2011, 03:06 PM

I'm not sure what the culture of Nat's cubeland is.....When I was in the Hotel Business, I oversaw the reservations Department, and Cubeland was huge and everyone had a big mirror, so they could smile at the customer....still in the Hotel Business, I moved into Operations and Cubeland was smaller, but the cube's were bigger (the one's with the high wall's) so the noise was less and you could inter act with the customers
more privately. We didn't have mirrors, thats where I created the uninviting extra chair. I think every company has a culture that is a little different.

Where I work now, It's every one behind closed doors. That took a while to get used to. I still think he should error on the side of caution, and be sure
he is not rowling up someone. It's not worth it. It may be no big deal. He should ask and seek to compromise.

LaneyDoll · 09-21-2011, 03:15 PM

I think you have gotten some good advice, esp from PrincessBelle and Anya and Yellow Band. I am not sure that this is the issue to take a stand on. You may find that your coworker is "the darling" of the company and really cause problems for yourself. Whatever her reasons are, they are valid in her mind (THIS IS THE THING TO REMEMBER) and you could end up being seen as antagonistic.

If rearrangement of the desk is not an option, maybe another mirror would be. Maybe something reflective that allows you to see someone comnig up behind you but something that is blurry/fuzzy enough that you cannot see too far beyond your space.

If you really do want to keep your mirror and change nothing, then perhaps befriending the person is a solution. Maybe is she understands that you are "skittish" (for lack of a better term) you can find common ground in "little quirks." But if she is concerned that you are watching her, it is probably not going to work especially if she cannot see things from your point of view.

At any rate, good luck to you.

genghisfawn · 02-29-2012, 12:29 PM

I also scare easily, and a mirror wouldn't have helped me at all because I wouldn't be looking into it in time for the anticipated warning. I just talked to everyone in the vicinity and asked them to knock on the hard bit at the doorway to my cubicle, and lo and behold, they usually asked me to do the same! Even the ones who were a little harder to train just got the knocking treatment from me, and they eventually picked it up.

But if the mirror works for you, don't let her bully you. If you feel you've ruffled her feathers, that's sort of her problem. Talking to HR may help, but only if you feel it's a huge problem. Otherwise, it doesn't seem that big a deal.

... that said, if she does pick her nose at work or look at porn, enjoy your blackmail fodder!

09-21-2011, 03:15 PM	#3
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,683 Times in 1,607 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think you have gotten some good advice, esp from PrincessBelle and Anya and Yellow Band. I am not sure that this is the issue to take a stand on. You may find that your coworker is "the darling" of the company and really cause problems for yourself. Whatever her reasons are, they are valid in her mind (THIS IS THE THING TO REMEMBER) and you could end up being seen as antagonistic. If rearrangement of the desk is not an option, maybe another mirror would be. Maybe something reflective that allows you to see someone comnig up behind you but something that is blurry/fuzzy enough that you cannot see too far beyond your space. If you really do want to keep your mirror and change nothing, then perhaps befriending the person is a solution. Maybe is she understands that you are "skittish" (for lack of a better term) you can find common ground in "little quirks." But if she is concerned that you are watching her, it is probably not going to work especially if she cannot see things from your point of view. At any rate, good luck to you. __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible.

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09-21-2011, 02:50 PM	#1
turasultana Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: spoken for Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: brooklyn Posts: 432 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 226 Thanked 713 Times in 249 Posts Rep Power: 2043786	Everybody has a mirror in cubeland. its even a promo item at trade shows. she's paranoid. don't be bullied.

09-21-2011, 03:06 PM	#2
Dominique Member How Do You Identify?: Female/Lesbian/half the athlete I used to be Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Dates Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: So proud to be a Pittsburgher Posts: 1,484 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,645 Thanked 3,730 Times in 1,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I'm not sure what the culture of Nat's cubeland is.....When I was in the Hotel Business, I oversaw the reservations Department, and Cubeland was huge and everyone had a big mirror, so they could smile at the customer....still in the Hotel Business, I moved into Operations and Cubeland was smaller, but the cube's were bigger (the one's with the high wall's) so the noise was less and you could inter act with the customers more privately. We didn't have mirrors, thats where I created the uninviting extra chair. I think every company has a culture that is a little different. Where I work now, It's every one behind closed doors. That took a while to get used to. I still think he should error on the side of caution, and be sure he is not rowling up someone. It's not worth it. It may be no big deal. He should ask and seek to compromise.

02-29-2012, 12:29 PM	#4
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I also scare easily, and a mirror wouldn't have helped me at all because I wouldn't be looking into it in time for the anticipated warning. I just talked to everyone in the vicinity and asked them to knock on the hard bit at the doorway to my cubicle, and lo and behold, they usually asked me to do the same! Even the ones who were a little harder to train just got the knocking treatment from me, and they eventually picked it up. But if the mirror works for you, don't let her bully you. If you feel you've ruffled her feathers, that's sort of her problem. Talking to HR may help, but only if you feel it's a huge problem. Otherwise, it doesn't seem that big a deal. ... that said, if she does pick her nose at work or look at porn, enjoy your blackmail fodder!