So what does being Bisexual, mean to you ?

[Gráinne]

I also agree it was very brave of you to share. And it's certainly your choice.

I too fell in love with a woman when I was married. She lived in a different city, but we had a sometimes physical and a very much emotional affair for over a year. Ultimately, it ended because I didn't want to hurt my husband, who was and is a good man and father. She had a partner with whom she was having problems, and I didn't want to be an escape. Both of us had to treat our partners with honor before getting involved with anyone else. That, to me, was keeping my vow.

But ask yourself this: if you know your husband's ex-wife cheated on him and destroyed him emotionally, how do you justify doing the same? Because it will come out in the wash, end two marriages, and hit like a sucker punch to two men. If you or your gf have minor children, they will be hurt-badly. It might seem like a foolproof arrangement, but divorce court is full of husbands who weren't quite as chumpy as their wives thought they were. And by her actions, your gf is showing that she can and will cheat.

I can't sit and judge because I have been there. But when it does blow up, it has the potential to be financially and emotionally devastating to at least four people.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

I was excited to see this thread yesterday, but ultimately had to walk away from the computer without posting to avoid saying something that would get me moderated. I'm very happy to see that I'm not the only one who isn't so much concerned with "not judging" people who are lying and cheating and seem proud of it.

I am bisexual, and I've spent my entire adult life fighting an uphill battle against negative stereotypes about bisexual people. Bisexuals can't be trusted, they're liars, they'll cheat on you, they're not capable of being faithful. And now, here's a thread about bisexuality, in which all of these negative stereotypes are being put on display as if it were perfectly normal, acceptable behavior.

Starbuck, others here may be concerned with not judging you, but I'm not one of those people. I am judging you. Lying and cheating are not okay. What you're both doing to your husbands is not okay. Liars lie, cheaters cheat, and the whole concept of the two of you being "faithful" while cheating on your respective husbands is laughable. I certainly don't appreciate the attempt to justify lying and cheating because there's bisexuality involved. Bisexual people are perfectly capable of monogamy, just like straight and gay people are. Being bisexual doesn't make cheating okay.

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

Bisexual people are perfectly capable of monogamy, just like straight and gay people are. Being bisexual doesn't make cheating okay.

I agree, "Bisexual people are perfectly capable of monogamy..." I cannot say in all truthfullness that I agree with not being truthful with your parnter/s. I have been very hurt by cheating and I have cheated in my life time. When I was in my early adulthood I cheated on my girlfriend. It was not a daliance. The "other woman" fell in love with me. I felt like crap. I was hurting two very wonderful women. In the end I lost my partner, her love and respect she once held for me. Eventually she married one of my brothers. (Karma) The "other woman" went on to find a partner that loved her and only her.

I am not saying having more than one sexual, and/or romantic interest is wrong. If you are all legal adults and honest with everyone involved it is your choice how all of you lead your life. If not, you will eventually have to deal with the choice of your actions. And unfortunately, even the ones that did not willingly, knowningly make the choice, they too will have no choice but to live with the consequences of your actions.

[dreadgeek]

You make a good point here. I'm curious about something. Let's hold everything else constant but change just one significant factor.

There are still two women involved in a relationship but one of the women is cheating on her partner with a man. Her partner doesn't know this is going on. The partner who is cheating posts her story here. Are people still going to praise her for her bravery and courage to be herself? Or would it suddenly not be okay because the victim here is another woman?

If people still would not have a problem with it, is there ANYTHING that someone could do in a relationship (outside of outright violence which, I presume, we still can judge harshly) that would cause people to say "that's not okay". If, on the other hand, someone would judge the woman who cheats on her wife with a man, why is it that we cannot judge cheating on her husband with a woman?

Cheers
Aj

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

I was excited to see this thread yesterday, but ultimately had to walk away from the computer without posting to avoid saying something that would get me moderated. I'm very happy to see that I'm not the only one who isn't so much concerned with "not judging" people who are lying and cheating and seem proud of it.

I am bisexual, and I've spent my entire adult life fighting an uphill battle against negative stereotypes about bisexual people. Bisexuals can't be trusted, they're liars, they'll cheat on you, they're not capable of being faithful. And now, here's a thread about bisexuality, in which all of these negative stereotypes are being put on display as if it were perfectly normal, acceptable behavior.

Starbuck, others here may be concerned with not judging you, but I'm not one of those people. I am judging you. Lying and cheating are not okay. What you're both doing to your husbands is not okay. Liars lie, cheaters cheat, and the whole concept of the two of you being "faithful" while cheating on your respective husbands is laughable. I certainly don't appreciate the attempt to justify lying and cheating because there's bisexuality involved. Bisexual people are perfectly capable of monogamy, just like straight and gay people are. Being bisexual doesn't make cheating okay.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Yanno... This tends to get confusing had I "called out" Starbucks on her cheating, lying, deceit, alll the obvious things fucked up that she's doing to her kid, friend, husband, lover their kids somewhere someone somehow would of viewed it as big bully Snow wagging her finger at poor Star.

She's not seeing it like we do (Star) she's happy with her life, sex, lies because she gets her cake and she gets to eat seconds too.

She doesn't get she's got straight bennies, gets to say she's bi-lesbian-queer when she can or she's here. It's not going to change she's clear on that, here and in pm.

So what else is one gonna do? Bi-sexuals aren't cheaters, deceivers, sneaky unsafe people yet once in a blue moon someone will come across these boards who since she joined has talked about the married lover.

I guess we can say she's not but to her, in her head she is and none of us is gonna be able to sway het from that.

At that point I just shrug and an like whatever cause I was like ..

[citybutch]

Indeed....

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

Bisexual people are perfectly capable of monogamy, just like straight and gay people are. Being bisexual doesn't make cheating okay.