Is the customer really always right? What they said/what you wish could say...

[SecretAgentMa'am]

I'm currently unemployed, but until last February I worked for a cell phone company that caters to AARP members. I have literally hundreds of stories.

At least 10 times a day:
Customer: You sold me a piece of shit phone! This thing is broken! I've only had it a month!
Me: I'm sorry to hear that, let's see if we can find the problem.
C: The problem is it's broken!
M: Okay, what exactly is going on with it?
C: It's broken!
M: I understand. I'm just trying to determine the exact problem.
C: The problem is that it doesn't work! Stop wasting my time and send me new phone!
M: I'll be happy to help, I just have to go through a few troubleshooting steps to see if we can find the problem first.
C: I told you it's broken, are you calling me a liar?
M: Not at all, this is just standard procedure. If you press and hold the power button, does anything happen? Beeping, flashing lights, any error message?
C: I already told you a hundred times that it's broken! It doesn't work! Are you stupid?
M: Please just press and hold the red button on the left side of the keypad.
C: Fine, but it won't work. I already told you it's broken. You're going to send me a new phone or I'm going to sue you!
*through the phone, I hear the cell phone's startup music as the phone powers on*
C: Bitch. *hangs up*

Seriously. Over and over again, all day long. I was never so happy to leave a job.