Jokes and things that made you laugh.

CockyDude · 10-20-2011, 03:12 PM

What food makes women lose their desire for sex?
Wedding cake.

CockyDude · 10-20-2011, 03:14 PM

An old couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband "Just think honey, we've been married 50 years." "Yes", he replies, "50 years ago we were sitting at this table having breakfast and we were probably naked as jaybirds." "Well", she snickers, "should we get naked for old time's sake?" So they strip off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know", the old woman says breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised", replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal."

Janstevie · 10-23-2011, 06:33 AM

I got a new stick deodorant today, the instructions said, remove cap and push up bottom. I can hardly walk, but whenever i fart the room smells lovely.

CockyDude · 10-24-2011, 04:40 PM

So Tommy & Johnny are in class & the teacher tells them they will be talking about "privates" tomorrow. The girls are to ask their mothers about vaginas & the boys are to talk to their dads about penis'.
Walking home that day Tommy asks Johnny if he knows what a penis is. "No" Johnny says, "But I'll ask my father tonight.". After dinner that evening Johnny asks his dad; "Dad do you know what a penis is?" "Yes son" said the dad. "Come into the bathroom with me." The dad pulls down his pants and says "Thisis iYes I could. ;-)s a penis Johnny, and a perfect penis I might add." The next morning Johnny & Tommy are walking to school. Tommy asks Johnny "Did you find out what a penis is?" Johnny replies "Yes I did. Here, let's go behind these bushes." Johnny then drops his pants, points and says "This is a penis and if it was just 2 inches shorter it'd be perfect."

NJFemmie · 10-24-2011, 05:13 PM

Guy · 10-24-2011, 07:58 PM

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He'd been employed there for years when he came home one day and told his wife he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife, terribly concerned, suggested that he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill refused , he'd be too embarrassed, and vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

So a few weeks later, Bill came home one day , His wife knew something was seriously wrong. My God, Bill, what's wrong? she asked. Bill looked at her. Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?
Oh Bill, you didn't, she moaned, horrified.
Yes, I did
My God, Bill, what happened?
I got fired.
No, Bill, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?
Oh, she got fired too.

Bella~Vita · 10-25-2011, 09:38 PM

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able
to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a
piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is
driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.'

10-24-2011, 04:40 PM	#4
CockyDude Timed Out How Do You Identify?: FTM-man Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: What is today? Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Midwest Posts: 239 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 151 Thanked 420 Times in 141 Posts Rep Power: 0	Sex education So Tommy & Johnny are in class & the teacher tells them they will be talking about "privates" tomorrow. The girls are to ask their mothers about vaginas & the boys are to talk to their dads about penis'. Walking home that day Tommy asks Johnny if he knows what a penis is. "No" Johnny says, "But I'll ask my father tonight.". After dinner that evening Johnny asks his dad; "Dad do you know what a penis is?" "Yes son" said the dad. "Come into the bathroom with me." The dad pulls down his pants and says "Thisis iYes I could. ;-)s a penis Johnny, and a perfect penis I might add." The next morning Johnny & Tommy are walking to school. Tommy asks Johnny "Did you find out what a penis is?" Johnny replies "Yes I did. Here, let's go behind these bushes." Johnny then drops his pants, points and says "This is a penis and if it was just 2 inches shorter it'd be perfect."

10-24-2011, 05:13 PM	#5
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,419 Times in 2,976 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	__________________

10-25-2011, 09:38 PM	#7
Bella~Vita Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where salt is used for Margaritas not Snow Posts: 891 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,049 Thanked 1,322 Times in 443 Posts Rep Power: 7157596	Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.' The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.' __________________ ~ I believe that pleasing everyone is impossible..... but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake ~

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10-20-2011, 03:12 PM	#1
CockyDude Timed Out How Do You Identify?: FTM-man Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: What is today? Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Midwest Posts: 239 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 151 Thanked 420 Times in 141 Posts Rep Power: 0	What food makes women lose their desire for sex? Wedding cake.

10-20-2011, 03:14 PM	#2
CockyDude Timed Out How Do You Identify?: FTM-man Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: What is today? Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Midwest Posts: 239 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 151 Thanked 420 Times in 141 Posts Rep Power: 0	An old couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband "Just think honey, we've been married 50 years." "Yes", he replies, "50 years ago we were sitting at this table having breakfast and we were probably naked as jaybirds." "Well", she snickers, "should we get naked for old time's sake?" So they strip off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know", the old woman says breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised", replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal."

10-23-2011, 06:33 AM	#3
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I got a new stick deodorant today, the instructions said, remove cap and push up bottom. I can hardly walk, but whenever i fart the room smells lovely.

10-24-2011, 07:58 PM	#6
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Bill worked in a pickle factory. He'd been employed there for years when he came home one day and told his wife he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife, terribly concerned, suggested that he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill refused , he'd be too embarrassed, and vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. So a few weeks later, Bill came home one day , His wife knew something was seriously wrong. My God, Bill, what's wrong? she asked. Bill looked at her. Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer? Oh Bill, you didn't, she moaned, horrified. Yes, I did My God, Bill, what happened? I got fired. No, Bill, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer? Oh, she got fired too.