Tips for Transitioning from an LDR to Living Together

[Lynn]

We had a LDR for a year before she moved to this area. She didn't move in, as I felt that would be moving too quickly. We continued our relationship for another year before we took that step. Now, four years hence, we have just gotten married.

What made it easier--she got a job and secured an apartment before she moved, and we didn't make a commitment to living together until we had a decent idea that we might have a future together. With my daughters involved, I was extremely cautious about protecting them from a revolving door of bad relationships.

I think we've been able to reach this point, feeling so good, because we didn't just go with the flow, and do what was expected at each point. We really looked at our options and choices and made sure it felt right at each step.

[crashhere4eva]

I have only lived together with a girlfriend one time in my life and it was the worst relationship I've ever had but it was not from a long distance relationship. We had lived close by each other before. Basically, it's a chance you take regardless of the consequences. If we make the choice to date long distance, we must be able to follow through even if it does complicate things a little more. It's a chance no matter what. Whether the object of your affection lives next door or whether they live in next state or another country; it's my opinion it's always good to meet several times and spend a time online together (even if it's watchin tv, listening to radio, or cooking together, or cleaning up). It's important to get to know them as you would (or as closely as possible) as you would if you lived close by. I would say get involved in things via webcam such as routine activities or introducing your mate to places and people they like. It gives the couple the opportunity to reach beyond the general conversations. Then during personal visits, there are no surprises and one is already familiar with routines, idiosyncrasies and enviroment.
I have been in several LDR's and the closest I came to living with one was (2005-2006) in which she moved to my town but not with me in my place. That obviously did not work out but I don't think it has anything to do with it being a LDR yet everything to do with us not being right for each other. Yes, LDR can become a nightmare but honestly so can the girl or the boi next door. It's a chance we take. So no, I have not lived with a LDR but that is my opinion on it at this time. I have come close to living with women from an LDR and taking the steps I've mentioned here have helped me realized that moving in with them was not a good idea. I know several couples who are successfully and happily together for many years who met in an LDR so like I said, it's a chance we take. I am in an LDR right now and it's been the best one I've eva been in whether it be LDR or a girl across the street and I wouldn't walk away from it for anything. If it turns out I'm wrong then I will be wrong but if I'm right... oh how right it is.