How important is language?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Silverseastar

Hello. My question stems from a butch asking me to describe how I viewed them and did they seem like a man.

I'm curious, why would someone ask this question? What would be the appropriate response in this situation? Honesty? Further questions?

In my attempt to describe it I hurt their feelings and it made me feel terrible. I used the terminology of "other gender" not male and not female but masculine energy. I'm looking for more understanding as they won't talk to me about it. Please be gentle with me though!

Also is this a topic best shied away from if it comes up? Meaning is it too personal and sensitive a place for most butches? The ones I have dated in the past were never this sensitive about it so maybe it is about being in the trans spectrum?

Also, I think that they won't talk to you about it b/c they know it was an unfair question and they are embarrassed that they asked it.

I am also guessing that they are in the middle of trying to figure out their gender/sex and are feeling frustrated. But, it seems as though they took it out on you. That is not cool.