Click.... when we knew we were feminists

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

Hi Anya, thanks for your thoughts.
I remember hearing about those debates, but mostly from the perspective of my uncles, who all had subscriptions to Playboy. They also expressed their hope that the ladies would resolve their dispute by means of a national hot-oil-wrestling tournament....)

So i came out in that culture (not very fun) and my first gay community was working class softball dykes. Many of them had body issues and wore ill-fitting baggy men's clothes. I almost decided I must not be lesbian, because I wasn't sexually attracted to them at all.
So when I started to find lesbians who were pretty and feminine, I got scared about my feelings. (but became reassured that I wanted to have sex with women!). I wanted to be with a feminine woman, but I didn't know how to "be". When I was growing up in New Jersey in the 1970s, I always thought the hookers my uncles would meet at the bowling alley were the most sexy and beautiful women in the world. (ok, part of me still does ). But my innate sense of fairness knew that I shouldn't treat women the way I saw them treated in my town.
This was further complicated by my being a dyed-in-the-wool stone top. I didn't know anyone who was even talking about sex, and the few that were talking (usually very late at the pot luck) were glowing about how "equal" and "reciprocally touching" it was.
So there I was trying to grow away from my culture of sexism, and some of the people around me we lesbian separatists, many hated their bodies, and not many were in their power as sexual people.' We were all trying to figure out how to be different kinds of women than our mothers were.

I think I'm rambling on and on here. Sorry.
I guess I'm saying that I love women's bodies, and i love to celebrate them in word and deed! It's been a journey to recognize what makes sense and what's oppressive.
I guess the bottom line (and the top!) is fully informed and freely given CONSENT.

Oh yes, handsome stone butch top; there must be fully informed and freely given consent for all things sexual!

I came out in the late 70's too, at which time the lesbians I met everywhere wore flannel shirts, baggy clothing, and they did not at all appreciate the femme that I was. Actually, at a couple of bars and clubs, they kind of laughed at me.

I did not feel like I fit in anywhere until I met my ex-who was stone butch at the time. She absolutely appreciated how feminine I was and my "femme-ness". I had finally found my niche in the butch-femme dynamic.

We were both very active in NOW but during the NOW lesbian witch hunts, we both left. However, I never left my feminist consciousness.

I also never left my desire and attraction to butches.

I guess you could call me a sex-positive feminist lesbian femme.