The Subtlety of Softness

[Julien]

Pain and Silence
A clipped response, a curt reply, a sarcastic remark, a demeaning retort
Hurt and sorrow follows the reception of these verbal cuts.
The most torturous and brutal attacks of all is that of silence,
not only silence of words, but also the absence of any empathy for our suffering and vulnerability.
We recoil with fear and agony in the same way as if a fist brutalizes the skin.
The bruise of an attack of silence is not seen by an observer or even the one who delivers the blow, but we know it's there.
We flinch with the soreness of the internal bruise, black with fear, purple with shame.
We cry out in torment from this attack even more when it comes from someone we love.
Those who say they love us without sharing their most private inner thoughts and feelings about our relationship are the tormentors,
they are unable to share more than the physical.
The act of total commitment is not only the touch of our bodies,
but also the blending of our thoughts, fear, and wishes,
we are the most vulnerable when our lover knows what we think, fear,
and use it to their advantage.
An inner most dread is the one of abandonment, the loss of something we not have had in the first place, but we may not know that yet.
This is the point when we can be torn and battered the most.
Nothing is more sensual or fulfilling than the honest exchange of thought,
to strip away the facade of attitude and self recrimination is a pure act of love.
Without the honesty we can have only the physical, the empty act of sex.
What can be more scarring than the deafening act of silence?
Silence and the giving of the body without the touching of the mind.


Julien F. 11/7/11

[Julien]

Blue-eyed Southerner
Eyes that transform from slate to navy pierce through the film of armor.
She looks deep into her lover's soul, searching for the passion of love and the security of trust.
The Southerner's eyes caress the strong line of her beloved's jaw.
She searches for the comfort of harmony.
Eyes of navy spark with the excitement and recognition of truth and acceptance.
Blue touches the paleness of green.
The twin mirrors reflect a deep emotional blending that grows with each glance.
She is told she has the ability to look beyond the facade and into the core.
She seeks true meanings and feelings that can never be translated into meer words.
She has a gift of insight to be shared with the woman she has accepted into her life.
It is the ultimate gift of trust and caring, which comes freely from the inner most regions of her soul.
For the Blue-eyed Southerner has given her most treasure gift to the calm greens eyes of her lover,
to be shared, protected and nourished for the durations of their harmonious creation.

Julie F. 11/9/11

[Julien]

Freedom Without Fear
It is my wish to hold you while you cry with sobs so deep my heart breaks with each ragged breath you draw.
I want to be more than a person who shares your laughter.
To see the full spectrum of your emotions is my commitment to the love I feel for you.
There is no apprehension from me,
I walk freely into your troubles with the same love that I walk into your embrace.
Give me the chance to share your life of euphoric happiness, immense sadness and paralyzing fear.
These are the complexities of life, the turmoils existing in a world of uncertainty.
Do not turn away from me, because of some pain you may have suffered in the past.
I was not a part of that pain, I want to be part of your healing, your future.
Turn to me for the support and the comfort I want to give.
Through our times together we can create our own yesterdays, todays and tomorrows.
For we can do this freely without fear because we have the knowledge that we are human and are vulnerable,
but we are willing to share and support each other regardless of the troubles we face together.

Julien F. 11/10/11

[Julien]

For Wendy

The Turn of the Page

With a flick of the wrist you open a world of mystery.
Page by page you unravel a place filled with people who have no history or future, simply the now, the story before you.
Discovery of the past and realizing what is to be compels you to turn the page.
Your eyes take in each word creating scenarios that you freely submerge yourself within.
Love is lost, love is found between these leaves.
You find contentment within this world, a journey filled with possibilities,
You strive to find meaning in a moment of literary themes.
Themes that influence your thoughts, your dreams and your heart
As the pages turn from beginning to end you are lost in the words of change.
For once you read and internalize the mystery it changes you forever with a simple turn of the page.


By Julien F. 11/11/11

[msW8ing]

Originally Posted by Graphiteta2s

For Wendy

The Turn of the Page

With a flick of the wrist you open a world of mystery.
Page by page you unravel a place filled with people who have no history or future, simply the now, the story before you.
Discovery of the past and realizing what is to be compels you to turn the page.
Your eyes take in each word creating scenarios that you freely submerge yourself within.
Love is lost, love is found between these leaves.
You find contentment within this world, a journey filled with possibilities,
You strive to find meaning in a moment of literary themes.
Themes that influence your thoughts, your dreams and your heart
As the pages turn from beginning to end you are lost in the words of change.
For once you read and internalize the mystery it changes you forever with a simple turn of the page.


By Julien F. 11/11/11

Thank You..i am flattered beyond expressing with words. You Sir are an amazing soul.

[Julien]

The Man I Want to Be

This journey I am on from female to male is a difficult one.
For me the way is filled with both dangerous pitfalls as well as joyous events.
While I am unable to see what my body will become, I can affirm what type of man I am becoming.
To weave together the woman I’ve lived and the man that I am is to blend the best of both in this gender queer body.
I am not my father’s daughter
I am not my mother’s daughter
But neither am I their son.
I am my own unique individual with the sensibility of what it means to be a woman as a man in this world of ours.
Left behind is their daughter with long hair, frilly clothes and make-up.
What is ahead is the man I want to be, something that was hidden behind the façade of femininity.
My masculinity has finally revealed itself after years of pretending to be something I am not and will never be.
I know deep down that I was born to take on the self as male and hopefully the lessons I have learned as a female will help create the man I want to be.

By Julien F.