What Cracked You Up Today?

Kobi · 12-15-2011, 11:02 AM

The Massachusetts DMV no longer issues renewal notices for drivers licenses. Same might be true for professional and trade licenses as well.

Apparently they feel if you are old enough to drive and have a career, you are old enough to remember to renew your licenses.

Drivers licenses are renewed every 5 years; trades and prof every 2 years. It is a cost cutting measure. But I wonder how much revenue is lost when people forget?

I cant remember what I had for breakfast.

Truly Scrumptious · 12-16-2011, 01:20 PM

Honey · 12-16-2011, 01:23 PM

Flashback to last years Christmas party, when a coworker informed me that the dish she brought to the pot luck, was mac & cheese made with breast milk !!!

Deborah · 12-16-2011, 01:37 PM

Exactly why I dont like to eat stuff that I dont know who cooked it or how clean their kitchen is.....ewwwwww no thanks I want to know what I'm eating

*Anya* · 12-16-2011, 02:01 PM

Yes, this is old, but I just came across it today and it did crack me up!

"Best man left bleeding after being hit in head by flying dildo"

February 12, 2011

by Richard Farmer
The Northern Territory News once again has staked its claim for Best Headline of the year!

Entertainment for Peter Rolih’s pre-wedding party was inspired by that famous scene of the woman expelling the ping pong balls in the comedy film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. But this time the projectiles were not little celluloid objects but something rather more solid. And when the scantily clad exotic dancer performed her party trick – shooting dildos at the guests from her private parts, best man Darwin architect Jure Skumavc, 31, found himself in the firing line. As the Rupert Murdoch ownedNorthern Territory News reports this morning, Mr Skumavc was injured by the bullet-shaped, pink, sex toy – measuring about 12cm in length.

Mr Skumavc was still sporting a scar on his forehead at Mr Rolih’s wedding nearly three weeks after being dinged by the artificial dong.

Mr Skumavc said about eight other friends joined Mr Rolih for the party. He said the pink projectile was flying an impressive 7m across the room and looping about 2m high. “It wasn’t a strong shot (when it hit me in the head),” he said. “It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle.”

“She was shooting it through the room from one corner to the other,” he said. “Other people got it in their chest and knees. I was the only one bleeding. It was my turn and it landed straight on my forehead. “She started apologising straight away but I just said it was fine … then I touched my forehead and there was blood."

*Anya* · 12-16-2011, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honey

Flashback to last years Christmas party, when a coworker informed me that the dish she brought to the pot luck, was mac & cheese made with breast milk !!!

Was that before or after you had eaten some, lol!

Cin · 12-16-2011, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Truly Scrumptious

Kids sure have a sense of entitlement.

When I was a kid I had to get a job (this was before the child labor laws) and work overtime to make money for xmas. I had to walk to it uphill twenty miles both ways in the dark through snow and freezing rain, and then I had to buy my own presents and buy the wrapping paper and wrap them myself. And it had to be stuff we needed around the house like hamburg and rice and comet cleanser. And I always said thank you when I unwrapped them.

What's wrong with kids today.

12-16-2011, 01:20 PM	#2
Truly Scrumptious Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: She's my mirror twin, my next of kin Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Entre Lajeunesse et la sagesse Posts: 667 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,047 Thanked 1,757 Times in 548 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Jimmy Kimmel - I gave my kids a terrible present

12-16-2011, 01:37 PM	#4
Deborah Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme Preferred Pronoun?: Babydoll is a start.... Relationship Status: Mrs. Livingston 4/20/2013 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville where my heart belongs... Posts: 611 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,451 Thanked 1,454 Times in 276 Posts Rep Power: 14676216	Exactly why I dont like to eat stuff that I dont know who cooked it or how clean their kitchen is.....ewwwwww no thanks I want to know what I'm eating __________________ "Slow to trust but I'm quick to love, I push too hard and I give too much, I aint saying I'm perfect, but I promise I'm worth it" "The Good Within Me Honors The Good Within You"

12-16-2011, 02:01 PM	#5
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,445 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Yes, this is old, but I just came across it today and it did crack me up! "Best man left bleeding after being hit in head by flying dildo" February 12, 2011 by Richard Farmer The Northern Territory News once again has staked its claim for Best Headline of the year! Entertainment for Peter Rolih’s pre-wedding party was inspired by that famous scene of the woman expelling the ping pong balls in the comedy film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. But this time the projectiles were not little celluloid objects but something rather more solid. And when the scantily clad exotic dancer performed her party trick – shooting dildos at the guests from her private parts, best man Darwin architect Jure Skumavc, 31, found himself in the firing line. As the Rupert Murdoch ownedNorthern Territory News reports this morning, Mr Skumavc was injured by the bullet-shaped, pink, sex toy – measuring about 12cm in length. Mr Skumavc was still sporting a scar on his forehead at Mr Rolih’s wedding nearly three weeks after being dinged by the artificial dong. Mr Skumavc said about eight other friends joined Mr Rolih for the party. He said the pink projectile was flying an impressive 7m across the room and looping about 2m high. “It wasn’t a strong shot (when it hit me in the head),” he said. “It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle.” “She was shooting it through the room from one corner to the other,” he said. “Other people got it in their chest and knees. I was the only one bleeding. It was my turn and it landed straight on my forehead. “She started apologising straight away but I just said it was fine … then I touched my forehead and there was blood." __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

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12-15-2011, 11:02 AM	#1
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	The Massachusetts DMV no longer issues renewal notices for drivers licenses. Same might be true for professional and trade licenses as well. Apparently they feel if you are old enough to drive and have a career, you are old enough to remember to renew your licenses. Drivers licenses are renewed every 5 years; trades and prof every 2 years. It is a cost cutting measure. But I wonder how much revenue is lost when people forget? I cant remember what I had for breakfast.

12-16-2011, 01:23 PM	#3
Honey Member How Do You Identify?: big femme heart..... in a tight girlie package Preferred Pronoun?: just call me Honey Relationship Status: Playin' 4 keeps with Tomboi1982 Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: New England Posts: 306 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 316 Thanked 613 Times in 184 Posts Rep Power: 10762768	Flashback to last years Christmas party, when a coworker informed me that the dish she brought to the pot luck, was mac & cheese made with breast milk !!!