What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

[Jett]

It's a hard question because I'll think of ten things that do really matter to me by the time I post this... okies, here we go.

1. A stable personality... that comes out that way, if you say six different things depending on your mood we have a big problem right there, I need to know where someones really coming from without having to read between the lines or compare all your statements and guess which one is the overall truth.

2. Honesty everywhere it really counts, if you're lying to me to hide something, trust me I know what the truth is and now you're not only an XYZ but also a liar... I can forgive, understand live with a lot... but if you lie to me about it that is actually like, two strikes every time.

3. Can discuss even a heated difference like an adult, if you deflect, never own your actions, blame everybody but yourself etc etc. yada hey or resort to a nasty personal attack because you've bullshitted yourself into a corner then just do yourself a favor forget it before you even open your mouth...

I'm a very forgiving and understanding person... and I've actually put up with and ignored some of this shit more than I should have, but I've been around the block more than twice, and I just have lost all tolerance at this point in my life for the bs. (and I was right, I could go on and on about now, lol

[Apocalipstic]

It is very interesting to me how my non-negotiables have changed over the years from wanting complete fidelity to just plain someone I get along with.

I mean, who cares if they cheat if we can't even have a conversation without hurting each other's feelings?

[atomiczombie]

Femme is a given.

1. Kind, compassionate and loving.

2. Respectful. This includes honesty and respecting boundaries.

3. Intelligent and geeky. Cause that's hot.

Because I can't just put 3:

4. Strong in herself. That means a girl who is able to clearly state her needs and stand up for herself. I don't want to be with someone who sacrifices her needs and wants for mine. I want to have a relationship where we both compromise and negotiate so that we both get our needs and wants met, equally.

5. Strong chemistry and sexual compatibility. It's got to be hot.

[*Anya*]

Everything that I wrote when this thread was started in December, 2011, still holds true for me.

I left out one thing.

I can write one item as a very, very, big part of a healthy relationship and very non-negotionable:

1. Laughter
2. Laughter
3. More laughter

My GF makes me laugh all of the time.

She can give me a look, when she can tell I am a tad peeved about something, that will cause me to burst out laughing.

My laughter can make me melt into a ball of romantic vulnerability.

I can take pretty much everything too seriously.

She helps me to separate out which ones that I should take seriously and which ones require laughter.

I think laughter is as much the glue for a good relationship, as is great sex, excellent communication, fidelity and honesty.

Debt free
Emotionally literate
Musician

[C0LLETTE]

I really do have to find you:

intelligent and curious,
witty and clever,
warm and affectionate

and preferably close by or willing to relocate.