Poly Relationships

[kannon]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Not necessarily kannon, fucking CAN BE just that no feelings attached.. That's my opinion though I don't "need" or "require" heartstrings or posturing in my poly...

You have that ability. I discovered that I was willing and able to share someone I had very strong feelings for. But some can't, or they can't in certain situations, and they, like my X's boyfriend, don't realize their emotional limitations until they experience them. Then they are like, "Oh, shit." My girlfriend's, X suffered for years because he lost something he loved dearly. I feel like the whole experience traumatized him.

Of course, this isn't the case for everyone. But his case is a cautionary tale about the possible emotional repercussions.

[The_Lady_Snow]

"After about 6 months, we had sex while he was out of the house. Somehow, he knew. He demanded she break off the relationship with me"

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See for "me" once this scenario happened it would turn into cheating because it wasn't open, honest and all parties were not in the knowing. I'd been like um this needs to stop so we, us can talk or them bounce cause honesty should always be happening in poly even "when" feelings deepen or take root it's only fair...

[always2late]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

"After about 6 months, we had sex while he was out of the house. Somehow, he knew. He demanded she break off the relationship with me"

----------------------

See for "me" once this scenario happened it would turn into cheating because it wasn't open, honest and all parties were not in the knowing. I'd been like um this needs to stop so we, us can talk or them bounce cause honesty should always be happening in poly even "when" feelings deepen or take root it's only fair...

Took the words right out of my mouth. When I read the OP, my first thought was that there is a serious breach of trust there. The incident spoken of went outside the framework of the established relationship. Could the breakup have been due to other factors? Yes, of course that could be the case, however, I'm sure the betrayal of trust didn't help.

[kannon]

Originally Posted by woodstock

Took the words right out of my mouth. When I read the OP, my first thought was that there is a serious breach of trust there. The incident spoken of went outside the framework of the established relationship. Could the breakup have been due to other factors? Yes, of course that could be the case, however, I'm sure the betrayal of trust didn't help.

Maybe you’re right. Maybe things would have worked out differently if we had talked about things before doing them. Certainly, open and honest communication is the key to a healthy relationship, not just poly.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

"After about 6 months, we had sex while he was out of the house. Somehow, he knew. He demanded she break off the relationship with me"

----------------------

See for "me" once this scenario happened it would turn into cheating because it wasn't open, honest and all parties were not in the knowing. I'd been like um this needs to stop so we, us can talk or them bounce cause honesty should always be happening in poly even "when" feelings deepen or take root it's only fair...

I thought the same thing when I read that. There can be no going behind anyone's back in any relationship, of any kind or there is going to be trouble. To me that indicated there is already a problem.

There is a difference between being discreet and staying in the boundaries of what is agreed upon and doing things behind someone's back.

[girl_dee]

In my situation, we had all been friends for a very long time and with me in service to Syr in a D/s situation.

My spirit sister took me into her home, welcomes me to share her partner and her world. She shares her home, her loves, her work, her money, her life with me, I could never in a million years do ANYthing behind her back, or anyone's.

When she and Syr are at their best, We are all at our best. It's in my best interest to live a happy drama free life.

Honesty is paramount, even if the truth hurts, it's better than the alternative.

[StrongButch]

Thank you all for sharing I am poly I enjoy the service and energy of a boi and at times a grl I am always honest about this and do not feel that I must choose one over the other

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by StrongButch

Thank you all for sharing I am poly I enjoy the service and energy of a boi and at times a grl I am always honest about this and do not feel that I must choose one over the other

do you all live in the same home?

[StrongButch]

I am old fashioned in many ways I observe and talk to folks for a long time before I even ask them out I have found this is what works best for me I like to keep it casual for the 1st year I want to make sure our energy blends and no one gets hurt I have lived in Seattle for 1 1/2 yrs and find many wanna rush I am in no hurry and have been single most my life by choice I find many mistake sex for love and commitement I dont My presence is strong and I require a strong person to serve me as well