Do it or die!

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

Obviously the people who say that being trans is a "choice" don't know what they're talking about.

At the same time, I think it's really important to recognise that transitioning does not necessarily just mean needles/surgery/hormones for all trans people. What we can say that most of us have in common is struggling to live our lives openly as our real sex/gender/identity in a society that is largely not trans-positive. Some guys don't have the resources/money for surgery or hormones, while other guys don't feel they need it. But no matter the situation as far as surgery/hormones, most guys live life as guys who were incorrectly and coercively assigned "female" at birth.

So there I would say, if it was a "choice," I don't think a lot of transguys would go through the hardship of constantly having to assert who they are within a society that often tries to deny them that dignity of being who they are. In a society that still views us as "mentally ill" for simply being a part of natural human diversity.

At the same time, the focus on being trans as something no one would want to go through if they had a choice kind of puts a negative connotation on being trans. Yeah, there are a lot of social consequences, but often those consequences exist because of the intolerant and cis-normative nature of our societies. While I definitely hate body dysphoria and can't wait for top surgery, I see that as separate from my being trans (since there are some transguys who have less body dysphoria, or who don't have it all; who will tell you that their body is male because they are male). I'm at a point where I would no longer trade being transmale in order to have been born cismale. Despite society's bullshit and how shitty dysphoria is, I'm happy with myself as a transguy.

I think we, as a community, would benefit from starting to change our perspectives of ourselves as transpeople. From moving away from the traditional medical community's opinion of us as having a "disorder," and embracing ourselves as a part of the diversity present in human sex. We need to stop seeing the biased/cis-normative medical community as experts on us, because they aren't.
I also want to add that even though many transpeople who don't have the resources for surgery/hormones manage to deal, a lot of transpeople don't make it. I definitely don't blame them or look negatively upon them for choosing to end their own lives. If I could help them choose to continue to live, and to get them the support they need I certainly would. [U]But their suicides are the consequence of living in the intolerant and excessively normative societies that we live in. I certainly don't blame those of us who feel they can't take it anymore. It's unfortunate, but hopefully society will wake up one day and see what it does to marginalized peoples and how many lives could be saved.

Ender, you are an insightful one, IMO. I concur on not wanting to have been born a cismale and happy with my Transmasculine Butch/Transman/Queer status. That is why I have posted at times that "I am not a mistake." I am exactly who I was born to be.

It is so true about marginalized peoples. So many people who not fit the "normal" cookie cutter image for various reasons are dismissed, pressured to be normal and if you don't relent there are consequences.

The other side of that is that I do think I have a choice as to how I will respond to all of this societal pressure. I do admit many times it feels as if I don't have choice and never will. IMO, that is an untruth.