|
|
|
01-17-2012, 10:54 PM
|
#1 |
|
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Professional Sandbagger and Jenga Zumba Instructor Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In the master control room of my world domination dreams
Posts: 2,811
Thanks: 6,587
Thanked 4,735 Times in 1,409 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852   |
"To Suck or Not to Suck" - A Bad Haiku Hurling Response
I hand her kneepads,
And tap down her head, turn on the Hi Fi... 'Nuff said. |
|
|
| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to SoNotHer For This Useful Post: |
|
01-18-2012, 04:57 PM
|
#2 |
|
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
She's my mirror twin, my next of kin  Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Entre Lajeunesse et la sagesse
Posts: 667
Thanks: 2,047
Thanked 1,780 Times in 557 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
You had me at haiku
The thing about sex in the shower
The soap drops, I slip Risky business yes, but then Clean up is a breeze |
|
|
|
|
01-18-2012, 05:01 PM
|
#3 |
|
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: In My Head
Posts: 2,815
Thanks: 6,333
Thanked 10,409 Times in 2,477 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
I like haiku. Sort of. I don't know much about them though. They're a bit intimidating for someone who can't even tell you what they want for dinner in 500 words or less.
__________________
The reason facts don’t change most people’s opinions is because most people don’t use facts to form their opinions. They use their opinions to form their “facts.” Neil Strauss |
|
|
|
| The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Cin For This Useful Post: |
|
01-18-2012, 05:02 PM
|
#4 |
|
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
She's my mirror twin, my next of kin Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Entre Lajeunesse et la sagesse
Posts: 667
Thanks: 2,047
Thanked 1,780 Times in 557 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
Haiku You
It’s very simple
Five syllables then seven And five once again |
|
|
|
|
01-18-2012, 05:03 PM
|
#5 | |
|
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: In My Head
Posts: 2,815
Thanks: 6,333
Thanked 10,409 Times in 2,477 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Quote:
__________________
The reason facts don’t change most people’s opinions is because most people don’t use facts to form their opinions. They use their opinions to form their “facts.” Neil Strauss |
|
|
|
|
|
01-18-2012, 05:10 PM
|
#6 |
|
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: .
Posts: 11,495
Thanks: 34,694
Thanked 26,362 Times in 5,875 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
I used my finger
Now under my fingernail Crusty ones linger |
|
|
|
| The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Hollylane For This Useful Post: |
|
01-19-2012, 01:05 AM
|
#7 |
|
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: .
Posts: 11,495
Thanks: 34,694
Thanked 26,362 Times in 5,875 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
It wasn’t real hard Kind of like a long noodle Not dishwasher safe .gif "Say What?") |
|
|
|
| The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Hollylane For This Useful Post: |
|
01-19-2012, 06:35 AM
|
#8 |
|
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,447 Times in 7,284 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
For Inspiration?
The Lake Union Seattle Beat First Annual Bad Haiku Contest
April, 2011 We were inundated with hundreds of entries for this contest and most of them were very bad! In fact, we’d like to congratulate Seattle on having so many truly terrible poets. In addition to the very, very bad we received many gross submissions, and, sadly, some good stuff we couldn’t use. The following are the 10 runners-up climaxing with the worst Haiku we had the pleasure of reading. Most men like melons Especially ripe and juicy Hands off those are mine ~~~~~~~~~~~ Jews atone for sins Once a year, on Yom Kippur Beats confessional ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Soft pink Elephant You are my OCD dream Touch touch touch touch touch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Young man, young woman He asks, she asks, his hands Move apart, show size ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I do not like poems I just want fifty dollars Show me the money ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Big Mac mouthful A loud belly rumbling Oh crap no toilet paper ~~~~~~~~~~ Oh hipster fixie Skidding thru stops helmetless Pants tight, German bag ~~~~~~~~~~~ I like my women The way I like my coffee In large quantities ~~~~~~~~~ Haiku are three line Poems that no one who speaks English can write well ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Loud, shrieking voices Shattering of glass vases Time for a spanking ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Winner! Worst Haiku 2011 Slippery pasta Broccoli, pepper, garlic We ate, we had gas
__________________
~Anya~  Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner |
|
|
|
| The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post: |
|
01-19-2012, 09:45 AM
|
#9 |
|
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Professional Sandbagger and Jenga Zumba Instructor Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In the master control room of my world domination dreams
Posts: 2,811
Thanks: 6,587
Thanked 4,735 Times in 1,409 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Oh, Anya, those are delightfully bad. These two really made me laugh -
Soft pink Elephant You are my OCD dream Touch touch touch touch touch I like my women The way I like my coffee In large quantities |
|
|
|
| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to SoNotHer For This Useful Post: |
|
01-19-2012, 10:00 AM
|
#10 |
|
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: .
Posts: 11,495
Thanks: 34,694
Thanked 26,362 Times in 5,875 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
Thank you Anya! Being the juvenile that I am at times, I loved the Melons, Toilet Paper and the Gas ones, but my favorite was the one ending in "Move apart, show size".  |
|
|
|
|
01-19-2012, 03:17 PM
|
#11 |
|
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: .
Posts: 11,495
Thanks: 34,694
Thanked 26,362 Times in 5,875 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
I don’t really need Much tender attention now I just plug it in |
|
|
|
| The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Hollylane For This Useful Post: |
 |
| Tags |
| bad prose, dark and stormy night, original |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Hybrid Mode
