Friends of Bill W.

This keeps coming to mind of late through the fuggleness of meds...

God (or whoever your higher power may be) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Day 3...still feeling like, well, utter crap really. Having a heavy chest infection is not helping. Day 4 can only be better.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Originally Posted by Incubus

This keeps coming to mind of late through the fuggleness of meds...

God (or whoever your higher power may be) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Day 3...still feeling like, well, utter crap really. Having a heavy chest infection is not helping. Day 4 can only be better.

Day 4 is always a BIG day, expect great things!!! If not on day 4 then definitely on day 5!!! Hang in there, my friend!

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme

Day 4 is always a BIG day, expect great things!!! If not on day 4 then definitely on day 5!!! Hang in there, my friend!

Hanging with gritted teeth and bloody fingernails. This too shall pass.

I have high hope for the coming days.

Thankyou lovely girl for being a positive influence. *kotc*

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 3

AND THIS IS FOR WHAT?




I smiled down on God and said, “This is pretty and what is it for?”
“Oh, that’s your life. It is a surprisingly useful thing to have.” My Higher Power, like my sponsor, thinks she is funny but she is not.
“What am I supposed to do with it?”
“Who do you think I am, your mother, your Grandpa Joe, your guidance counselor? I put all the possibilities in you then I let the wind blow. What would be the fun of coming here if I gave it to you all mapped out? Did it occur to you the reason people say ‘you are right where you are supposed to be’ is because you did the things that brought you here, not Me, and if you don’t like it here you are the one who needs the motivation to change it.”
“Take my life............Please.”
“You are such a comedian!”
“No, that’s your department, and could you stop tending your garden for five minutes and give me your attention?”
“I don’t need to give you that kind of attention. You bloom on your own.”

Age with curiosity.

*
The Inside Half


I have drunk deeply from the glass set before me.
I’m not entirely sure that I am half way through,
but I am into it a goodly bit.

I would be happy to have another 19 years;
nineteen more hours would be a gift, too.
That glass might be half empty
but I am at least half full and I am amazed!

I am regularly stunned by the prodigies
this half trek has born to term;
equally dazzled by how quickly the generations
compound in this painstaking construction.

Development both internal and assembled
surpasses my wildest imaginings.
Amazement is my most constant companion,
more than gratitude

and as of late even outstripping willingness
my most trusted ally.
Shock has been replace by wonder,
bewilderment with surprise,

I am fortified with these feeling realities
and look happily to finishing the rest
of what is in that glass.

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 4

HOW LIKE THE MOON



I show the shining, bright face to the world but can not enumerate the dark. I change and turn for all to see, glowing sliver to full fledged smile. I inventory all phases, can tell you from wax to wane, but the darkness, the anchor to my lonely life, I can only guess. I feel my way across the unknown topography, searching with fingertips and faith to find the secrets of this magic nightmare. And what? What is the thing to break it? Hope? Reverence? A detailed map? Or is the darkness just a fact? Part of the big equation, the equalizer of the light? If this is so, how best to live with it? Continue the search or post barriers? Go ever forward, looking for an answer? Endear myself to the void?
The choices are always mine. The way, seldom clear.


Breathe with power.

*

Today’s Math


Today is 12/06/06 this is an equation to me,
12 = 6 + 6, simple.
Not everything is, but math always works for me.
My Higher Power is math based
and one of my major decision making tools
is to run the equation of the presenting situation.

There are many constants in my life
and those numbers are easier to calculate
the variables often prove more difficult.
Scalable problems allow for my Geometry.
Proofs are a comfort when I can get them.
Set Theory is what I settle for when I can’t.

I try to show all my work
and have others check my calculations.
I can’t tell you how often a simple error
in addition or subtraction has fouled my whole equation
not to mention my equilibrium.

In conclusion I would like to say it is now 12= 9 + 6
and somehow I’ve lost three days, or did I gain them?
See how tricky the signs are.

[RockOn]

Incubus, tie a knot in it and hold on tight. Although you are in a tough place right now, you can do it. I promise you it will get better. If you need to talk, PM me and I will give you my cell phone number.

Best wishes.
Brock

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 5


THE FORGOTTEN


"I am not Cleopatra; I am not in denial. I forgot."
“Sure,” says my sponsor, “I’ve seen the headdress.”
"That’s not fair! I’ve heard women say they forget the pain of childbirth."
“They’re kidding. You can’t just forget pain. It’s there waiting in the wings, looking for its fifteen minutes of fame.”
"And what if I don’t give pain its fifteen minutes?"
“You will be the worse for it,” she says with her smug way.
"What if I can’t drag it forward?"
“Honey, Baby, Sweetie, you need to let those things come up before they drag you back to a drink or whatever your new addiction of choice is. Just open your mind. You might be surprised what is waiting to see the light of day.”
"What if it kills me?"
“Darling you’re not that lucky. You don’t get to escape through death, either. Lean into this and you will get through it faster. Hold on to the program and you will get through it easier. Fight it and it will tear you up.”
Always the optimist, my sponsor.




Dispel assumptions, inhale willingness.
*



What is “offender” number 2?

I’m not looking for trouble, really I’m not,
it’s just that thanks to this program
I’m no longer plagued by resentment,
but I doubt that is the only stumbling block there is.

Possibly the remaining list is as divergent
as the alcoholics who make the lists.
Though I am guessing we have more in common
than that one thing.

I stare at the various and sundry bric-a-brac
measuring potential harm and formidability,
so many candidates with razor edges.

I take my combat pose as I lift the pen,
wondering if giving things status also gives them power.
I take comfort that acknowledgement is empowering for me.

Tell me the weights you lift
to strengthen your “Spiritual Muscle”
the things that crowd behind resentment
vying for their turn as perpetrator of downfall and misery.

Originally Posted by Brock

Incubus, tie a knot in it and hold on tight. Although you are in a tough place right now, you can do it. I promise you it will get better. If you need to talk, PM me and I will give you my cell phone number.

Best wishes.
Brock

Knot tied...teeth still gritted but goddamn it I will get there. Thanks for the encouragement Brock.

Day 5 was a purty good day, I actually felt quite perky considering I have what has developed into pleurisy (again).

Day 6 (today) hurts...I wanna know why my kidneys still hurt like hell. I'll ask the Doctor when I go see her/him at the start of the week. However, as I wake up I am feeling non-alcoholically a bit perkier again...I'm sure if I wasn't otherwise so sick and knocked out I'd be bouncing