Friends of Bill W.

[Prudence]

In reading the last posts, I began to take a look at my spiritual life. I do use my bible, and I do use my Big Book. I went to my Big Book tonight. Came across something on page 28, third paragraph down. "We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us , whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. Those having religious affiliations will find here nothing disturbing to their beliefs or ceremonies. There is no friction among us over such matters. We think it no concern of ours what religious bodies our members identify themselves with as individuals. This should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself in the light of past associations, or his present choice. Not all of us join religious bodies, but most of us favor such memberships." Glad I ran across this. ....Prudence

[RockOn]

Prudence, I am glad you ran across that reading ... and even more glad you took the time to come in here and share it with us. Thank you.

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 15

SHAME

I push shame around my plate like a chunk of spoiled meat, the toxins leaching to every interface and cavity. With an inverse half-life, the lethal substance grows, reinforcing, sending runners and tendrils to worlds known and those yet undiscovered. I wage my war on this shape-shifting plague. Thrust and parry, I step back from the insurmountable walls and set my sights on tearing down the bunkers in my personal city. Like lead plumbing, the danger eludes the observation of my fellow citizens. I am labeled a lunatic and no attention is paid to my evaluations of water quality. I search for similarly crazed friends, variants within a theme. I depend on the poisoned sanity of my wounded compatriots. We shovel the plate loads of spoiled meat and detritus. The foreshortened mountain of shame allows tiny strands of light to glimmer across the surface but the shamed devotees turn their heads. We, the few, face this glowering mass. I worry like a petulant child. What if we can not prevail? Is shame stronger than recovery? Have we traveled this far to miss the glacier’s edge as it slides away from us? I console myself with the sure knowledge: this life of sobriety is better than any other offering. Healing the world, what a lovely thought. Living free from shame today, what a necessity.

Crumple a sacred cow then iron it flat.
*

ONE


One skin, One mind, One spirit, One day

If I live in more than my own skin,
I am a body snatcher and ghoul.
If I live in a duality of thought I am ejected,
ostensibly out of my mind.

If I redouble my spirit
the increase takes a dark cold turn
and I am lost.

If I try to live two days at a time
the sand shifts in the glass
and I am worse off in that hour than Dorothy.

This skin is all I can be in,
as many times as I walk in someone else’s shoes
it’s the skin I’m in.

This mind is my only bequest,
treasure enough to earn my keep.
Free as this spirit is it is still tied at the heel
and like my shadow it remains.

And today is the only day where the magic works,
witches melt and clicking my heels gets my attention
even if it doesn’t always take me home.

[RockOn]

This is an off subject (sorta) and a "general" type post.

I woke up this morning and was a little bit confused. I came here and am no longer confused after rereading the title of this thread ... which is "Friends of Bill W."

"Friends of Bill W." is synonymous with "AA 12 STEP"

*chuckling to self*
Glad it was so easy for me to end my confusion. Wish it could always be that simple.

Hope everyone has a fantastic day!
Best Wishes!

Brock

[FtMGuy]

Hello Just wanted to post a quick intro to this thread,
I have been clean & sober for close to 21 years now When I first got clean & sober it was difficult to stay clean and did attend about 2-4 meetings a day I also worked in the gay AA club in San Diego so was around sober people all the time that first year. I still use those tools are learned all those years ago however I dont go to many meetings these days.
I will be getting to some in the states when I get back!

Day 16

It's really good to see other folks poking their heads in the door. Thanks so much Pru and Guy and ta muchly Brock for sharing your take on my post.

Are you sitting comfortably...apologies in advance for verbosity.

Like a good, contrary addict, I've come at this all arse about tit. It's God that has brought me to recovery, who gave me the gift of desperation and the desire to be free from my addiction, one day at a time. It is He who has forced me, kicking and screaming for so long, to seek out folks who can help me deal with this damnable addiction. Which in turn led me to my doctor and a two chances at medical detox. The first was self managed and failed miserably....quelle surprise! The second, a 'managed' detox started on 31/01/2012.

So, being newly sober and having been in this place before I knew I had to seek the right places for me with other folks in recovery. It seems that God led me to one of those places and a bunch of people tonight.

To continue with this I need to tell you about a classmate at uni. Cutting a very long story short, a chance conversation whilst out on a field trip revealed two classmates who have faith and both attend churches (not the same one as each other). In fact right here I'm going to post a link to my blog which sort of explains a little bit about Paul.
http://scooby63.wordpress.com/2011/12/page/2/
The entry you're looking for is 24.11.2011 "Quiz Night"

Paul is also a recovering addict. I confided in him at times throughout last semester about the escalation of my drinking. Obviously I gave him the sanitised version but he knew. Finally he told me about the Wednesday night NA meeting he attends and at the beginning of the year I promised I'd go along with him. Course I didn't; I determined if I couldn't go sober I wouldn't go at all. Brilliant avoidance strategy huh?

After my meeting with John from the local alcohol team yesterday, who is also a recovering addict, I decided that I would go along to the NA meeting Paul had mentioned. Google directions printed out I got myself along to the group which is a basic text study group with a short share at the beginning. Guess who was sharing? Yup, got it in one, Paul. God works in those proverbially mysterious ways.

Folks were welcoming, as is always the case at meetings and it was interesting to hear the steps and traditions with slightly different words. Wouldn't you know it, in my haste to get out the door and on my bike, I had forgotten to pick up my bag with both pairs of specs so I just sat back and listened. I shall be attending another meeting tomorrow evening at the same venue.

I like that it's not glory stories about drinking. I like that it's not about the substance you use/d - I've played with pretty much every drug you can take, as I suspect many of us have. Most importantly, I like that the focus is recovery.

We'll see where I'm led from this point.

If you've made it to here than very well done; thank-you for your stoicism and for listening

Keepin' th'sober faith


ps. Thanks to LeftWriteFemme for starting the thread

pps. Thanks also for her daily inspirations.

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 16

THE DEALS I’VE MADE


Because they are deals and not resentments or secrets, these circular schemes did not come out in my fourth step. They didn’t come out in the wash; they come out whenever they are broken. If the deal is don’t eat pickled herring and you won’t have to remember X, the deal will get broken when pickled herring is served to me at some social gathering. As I get healthier, the breaks connect ever more deeply. What in early sobriety would have given me unexplained discomfort now gives me full-blown flashbacks. And I watch the deal unravel… you weren’t supposed to eat this because this is what was on the plate when… but now that it’s on the plate here, now you have to face this ugly roiling mess. The deals saved my life, but unless they are handled with care and honesty, they can cost me the life I have now. I must choose a safe person and place to share these broken shards, living alone with this will not work and making it public fodder is a set up as well. In every one of these deals there is a back door to a drink and therefore We have to go out the front door together.

Pick three color words and use them all day.


*
The Long Dark Ride


Are fear and ignorance one thing
that looks like itself
or terrifying twins who feed one another?

Can they be separated
and if they can will it kill them?
And if they die
what will spring from their remains?

Will it be better or worse?
Can I tell what better is?
Should I tell if it turns out to be worse?

Is there ever an end to either fear or ignorance?
If there is, how deep is that well
and will I survive a trip to the bottom?

Do you know and do you care?
Will you go with me if I find the way?
Will you take me if you find it first?