Searching for information that may helpme

[tara_kerrie]

Hi all,

I am looking for someone that may be willing to help me out with some information.

I have always felt like I was born the wrong sex. I never played with anything that "normal little girls" did. I ALWAYS played with boys toys. I always enjoyed doing things that the little boys did.

I never felt right wearing girls clothes so I would always raid my brother's closet and wear their clothes. When puberty hit and my breast started growing I lost my mind, and then the period came and oh my I wondered why other little boys didnt start having these things happen.

I have never felt like I was or shouldve been a woman. I hate my body and the things that come with being a female.

Now the question is this:
Am I trans?
How do I know?
If I am, what steps do I need to take?

I am very appreciative of anyone that takes time to talk to me!!!

Kerrie

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by KerrieH

Hi all,

I am looking for someone that may be willing to help me out with some information.

I have always felt like I was born the wrong sex. I never played with anything that "normal little girls" did. I ALWAYS played with boys toys. I always enjoyed doing things that the little boys did.

I never felt right wearing girls clothes so I would always raid my brother's closet and wear their clothes. When puberty hit and my breast started growing I lost my mind, and then the period came and oh my I wondered why other little boys didnt start having these things happen.

I have never felt like I was or shouldve been a woman. I hate my body and the things that come with being a female.

Now the question is this:
Am I trans?
How do I know?
If I am, what steps do I need to take?

I am very appreciative of anyone that takes time to talk to me!!!

Kerrie

Hi Kerrie...

I think the very best thing for you to do is start counseling/therapy. Make sure the individual has knowledge and experience in this area (gender identity).

You're thinking about it and ready to talk about it. That's good stuff!!

Good luck!

[princessbelle]

Hi Kerrie and it's great you started a thread with very direct and personal thoughts. Kudos for you doing that.

I totally agree with Thinker. Get some therapy and read, read and read some more. There are some great threads here on gender identity.

Feeling that you don't fit in, either with your own body or your sexual orientation is nothing new to many of us. We've been there. We hear you. You are in a safe place so reach out to anyone.

Keep us all updated. We are glad you are here.

[tara_kerrie]

Thx Thinker and Princess. I live in such a closed-minded place right now. Once i get moved to San Antonio and settled in I will look for a counselor. Maybe there are some BFPers there that will have advice on who may be a good counselor to go to.

Thx for taking the time to respond.

[SelfMadeMan]

Originally Posted by KerrieH

Hi all,

I am looking for someone that may be willing to help me out with some information.

I have always felt like I was born the wrong sex. I never played with anything that "normal little girls" did. I ALWAYS played with boys toys. I always enjoyed doing things that the little boys did.

I never felt right wearing girls clothes so I would always raid my brother's closet and wear their clothes. When puberty hit and my breast started growing I lost my mind, and then the period came and oh my I wondered why other little boys didnt start having these things happen.

I have never felt like I was or shouldve been a woman. I hate my body and the things that come with being a female.

Now the question is this:
Am I trans?
How do I know?
If I am, what steps do I need to take?

I am very appreciative of anyone that takes time to talk to me!!!

Kerrie

Hey there Kerrie!

As for the questions you stated above - I would hate for anyone who isn't a therapist/counselor to try to provide you with the answers, because the thing is, there is SO MUCH gender normative bullshit that society puts on us from birth, and so many people struggle with a disconnect because of it. Through therapy, some people learn that they don't necessarily have a desire to change their bodies, but perhaps change their perception of themselves in respect to what society expects them to be. I'm certainly not suggesting you aren't trans, you very well may be, but I think it's always best to work through these feelings with a professional to get to the root of it. My advice to you is to take your time to really break it down, go to counseling, and when you know for sure what steps you want to take, and know it's the right choice for you, they'll be able to better help put you on the path that's best for you. If you need help finding a therapist in your area, let me know, I have some resource info from a website I no longer keep up. I'd be happy to talk if you ever need an ear

[Medusa]

Kerrie - Don't forget there is a huge Trans group here! Check out G.E.A.R. They have support meetings every week and are super active in the community.

Might be helpful to hear other people's stories.

Good luck!

[Medusa]

Forgot to add: This is a page with a bunch of links for support groups right here in Arkansas. There are quite a few but I can attest that the group in Little Rock is pretty amazing. I am sure the others are as well, I just don't have any first hand experience with them.

http://ar-tg-support.org/support.htm

[tara_kerrie]

Selfmademan--thank you for your response. I will be searching for counselors soon. I am moving to Texas soon and think that for me personally that I would want to wait till i get settled in.

Madusa---thx for the info. I will definitely check that website out.

[EnderD_503]

I guess I'm gonna be the dissenting opinion here and not put emphasis on seeing a gender therapist before you've made the decision to try to get surgery or go on T. There are far too many therapists out there who only try to enforce the binary on trans people and it can be hard to find a good one. If you do go for a counselor or therapist, try to see if you can find one who is trans-identified. Personally, I think its better to see a therapist once you have a better sense of yourself and the direction you want to go in.

I would find a transguy or trans support group in your area first before seeing a therapist. There's also http://www.transqueernation.com/ that is a social media network and forum for trans people across the spectrum and is queer-positive.

On youtube there are a whole shit ton of videos by transguys mostly in their 20s on a channel called itsTtime2010: http://www.youtube.com/user/itsTtime2010

Ultimately, you are the only one who can decide whether or not you are trans. There are female-identified butches who have had top surgery and some who have even gone on T and still identify as female. The only reason I say this is because a lot of people seem to equate the potential for being a transguy with being masculine or having some kind of body dysphoria. I guess it's just about asking yourself if its about masculinity or if it's about a male or genderqueer/gender neutral identity.

I think princessbelle said something about lots of reading. I'd recommend that, too. Read as much as you possibly can and watch as many documentaries as you can. Do whatever you feel you need to do to further understand yourself.

[tara_kerrie]

Thanks EnderD. I have always wanted to have top surgery done. i just havent looked into it with great detail because of past partners.
That is why I was asking if it would be best to go to a counselor.
Thank you for the websites!
I have never really thought about the T shots because I am still learning about the T.
Kerrie

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by KerrieH

Thanks EnderD. I have always wanted to have top surgery done. I just havent looked into it with great detail because of past partners.
That is why I was asking if it would be best to go to a counselor.
Thank you for the websites!
Kerrie

I think finding one's self takes time, read all you can digest what is said and apply what fits to you. No two people are the same, taking T is something I will never be able to do, it doesn't diminish who I am on the inside.

I think the more you discover on your own about yourself the better you will be able to decide whether surgeries or hormones are truly for you. And it's perfectly fine if you can't have them.
Be kind to yourself because half the process is the journey.
Happy journey to you.

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by KerrieH

Hi all,

I am looking for someone that may be willing to help me out with some information.

I have always felt like I was born the wrong sex. I never played with anything that "normal little girls" did. I ALWAYS played with boys toys. I always enjoyed doing things that the little boys did.

I never felt right wearing girls clothes so I would always raid my brother's closet and wear their clothes. When puberty hit and my breast started growing I lost my mind, and then the period came and oh my I wondered why other little boys didnt start having these things happen.

I have never felt like I was or shouldve been a woman. I hate my body and the things that come with being a female.

Now the question is this:
Am I trans?
How do I know?
If I am, what steps do I need to take?

I am very appreciative of anyone that takes time to talk to me!!!

Kerrie

Many butches have very similar feelings to this, so you may be trans or you may not be. I played with boys toys and wear male clothes, but I am a butch woman. I have also considered chest surgery but no other alterations to my body. Anyway, I am just giving you another perspective. There are many different ways to be female as well as trans. Best wishes in your journey.

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by KerrieH

Thanks EnderD. I have always wanted to have top surgery done. i just havent looked into it with great detail because of past partners.
That is why I was asking if it would be best to go to a counselor.
Thank you for the websites!
I have never really thought about the T shots because I am still learning about the T.
Kerrie

Do you know if there are any lgbt support centres in your areas that have trans support groups? Hearing from others who've had top surgery in your area would be a great start, and it would also give you a chance to hear about therapists in your area as well. Since you know you want top surgery, it would be a good idea to go into therapy prepared and with the best therapist for you.

Edit: just saw Medusa's link...so looks like you're set to find others around you who can help you out

[Random]

I meant to post this here earlier....



One of my ex has GID and said there was a *easy* test...

Close your eyes and picture yourself in your mind...

Are you a girl or a boy or are you both?

I don't know if it's true or not... I see a girl when I think of myself..

But it popped into my head while I was reading your thread...
__________________

[Nadeest]

A long time ago, a mentor of mine gave me a link to a website that had an article on it, that helped me sort things out. I think that it is worth looking at, so I will post the link here: docbushong.com The article: "What is Gender and Who is Transgendered/Transexual" is the article I am referring to. However, the other articles are good to read, as well, to my mind.

[tara_kerrie]

Random, when i close my eyes I see a boy.

[Rockinonahigh]

KerriH.At the Philladelphia center in Shreveprt there is a counselor named Terrie who is a trans women,she did have a trans suport group at the center..give her a call,atleast she may be able to give you some places to check out.Good luck on you journey.