Femme Invisibility?

[Sassy]

Originally Posted by JAGG

Here is the problem. If a femme starts talking to me of course I assume she is straight. Even if she goes out of her way to talk to me, and is overly friendly. It doesn't make me think she is gay or interested in me . I just think she is a straight women, who knows can tell I'm gay, just by how I look and is in her own friendly way trying to tell me she is ok with it. In other words she's trying to show me in a subtle way, that she isn't homophobic. So talking to me and smiling and being friendly wouldn't make me think you were femme. I would think you were kind and just a friendly lady. Lol. Sorry .
You would have to say something really flirty for me to understand you were femme, not straight.

I think this is more common than some gals might think.

When I met my SO she was friendly, but not willing to (in her words) "scare the straight girl" no matter how much I batted my lashes. So, I flat out asked her if she was single. After she said yes, I told her she looked delicious in those vintage jeans and asked if I could buy her dinner one Friday night. I wasn't creepy stalkerish in my approach. Just to the point. If it had gone the other way, no harm, no foul.

My opinion, Say Something. Even if they turn out to not be available, you may have made someone's day by just making them realize they've "still got it"

[Martina]

And saying something really flirty might make you assume we want to date you or as Snow says, get into your pants. i do not want to confuse anyone. i sure don't want to be rejected when i wasn't even on the make. So . . . .