Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[socialjustice_fsu]

Originally Posted by JustJo

I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me

Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.

Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.

Fuck.

They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.

And then it's on me, period.

I have a call in to hospice.

This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.

I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.

So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.

Fuck.

Precious Jo,

I wanted to echo what so many other wise and kind folks have said to you. Calling in hospice is an excellent move. They will get the pain under control and the team will likely even offer to help you deal with your sister if you ask the social worker about this. Reach out. These are highly trained people. Embrace them and let them rally around YOU.

Choose your battles wisely. Do what you feel you need to do. Let 'us' surround you with love and validation.There are 5 universal statements that might help ease your mothers transition and your acceptance of what is to come. They are, "I forgive you." "Will you forgive me?" "Thank you." "I love you." And, "Goodbye." Next year at this time the robins and this glorious spring shall return. Your life will look different from what it is now. It is all transient.

I hold you close to my heart and, in spirit, will walk beside you. Blessings and peace to you, your mom, your family and Snack.

Namaste.

Tamara