A kiss is just a kiss

laruss · 04-16-2012, 01:34 PM

I did not grow up in an affectionate family and never hugged or kissed anyone except my grandmother who I would hug. I started hugging my mother towards the end of her life , but after her death I actually put myself through self hug therapy. I just decided I needed more affection in my life and many of my friends were huggers. They knew not to hug me as it made me uncomfortable, but I started asking for a hug and slowly became more and more comfortable with it. Now I hug everyone.

I am very affectionate with my friends now and have many I kiss on the lips, others on the cheek. I think a lot of it has to do with what we grew up with and how comfortable we are. I just made the decision that I wanted to be more affectionate.

Unfortunately my kids did not grow up with me being overly affectionate and now I try to make up for it (without going overboard). One is very receptive and the other is a bit more standoffish. So one I lip kiss and the other I cheek or forehead kiss, but I always hug them.

I don't think either is wrong (lips or cheeks for our kids), but as long as both people are comfortable it is fine.

Quintease · 04-16-2012, 02:26 PM

I do air kisses, mwah mwah!

I actually hate anyone but my partner (or whoever I happen to be sexually involved with) trying to give me lip kisses and it actively creeps me out if I watch other people do it to their children or friends. I really don't like it.

stargazingboi · 04-16-2012, 02:35 PM

Hmmm ...this thread brings back fond memories indeed. My father’s family wasn’t very affectionate; hugs were and still are ridged. Kisses are brief on the cheek, and I love yous exchanged only as adults, and only after death came knocking and the realization that one doesn’t want to miss saying what is in the heart.

My mother’s side of the family was the extreme opposite. Always touching, sitting on laps, hugging and kissing whenever and whatever was offered (lips, cheek, head, hand, etc). My brothers and I are the same as my mother…very touchy. We lean on each other when sitting near…touch each other just to be touching. My Grammy still counts kisses and hugs…if you don’t give her one (no matter who you are) she’ll count and make you give her two of each on the way out (my mother does the same thing).

I don’t think anything of kissing who ever on the lips, because it’s not intimate to me. To me there is a much different exchange between partners that creates the intimacy. My mother still sits on my lap…kisses my lips…holds my face…and looks into my eyes as only a momma could.

I respect those who live differently and the boundaries they hold...but for me, I adore it and wouldn’t change a thing.

Novelafemme · 04-16-2012, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stargazingboi

Hmmm ...this thread brings back fond memories indeed. My father’s family wasn’t very affectionate; hugs were and still are ridged. Kisses are brief on the cheek, and I love yous exchanged only as adults, and only after death came knocking and the realization that one doesn’t want to miss saying what is in the heart.

My mother’s side of the family was the extreme opposite. Always touching, sitting on laps, hugging and kissing whenever and whatever was offered (lips, cheek, head, hand, etc). My brothers and I are the same as my mother…very touchy. We lean on each other when sitting near…touch each other just to be touching. My Grammy still counts kisses and hugs…if you don’t give her one (no matter who you are) she’ll count and make you give her two of each on the way out (my mother does the same thing).

I don’t think anything of kissing who ever on the lips, because it’s not intimate to me. To me there is a much different exchange between partners that creates the intimacy. My mother still sits on my lap…kisses my lips…holds my face…and looks into my eyes as only a momma could.I respect those who live differently and the boundaries they hold...but for me, I adore it and wouldn’t change a thing.

I love this so much! I hope my girls always let me kiss and snuggle them. My oldest will be 14 tomorrow and she still gets as close to me as possible and loves to snuggle. And they BOTH will jump in bed with me given the chance.

In fact, my youngest asked my partner if she would like to sleep on the couch one Friday so they could sleep in bed with me instead.

04-16-2012, 01:34 PM	#1
laruss Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She or Goddess Relationship Status: Settled in Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Edmonton Alberta Posts: 1,322 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,849 Thanked 5,329 Times in 1,045 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I did not grow up in an affectionate family and never hugged or kissed anyone except my grandmother who I would hug. I started hugging my mother towards the end of her life , but after her death I actually put myself through self hug therapy. I just decided I needed more affection in my life and many of my friends were huggers. They knew not to hug me as it made me uncomfortable, but I started asking for a hug and slowly became more and more comfortable with it. Now I hug everyone. I am very affectionate with my friends now and have many I kiss on the lips, others on the cheek. I think a lot of it has to do with what we grew up with and how comfortable we are. I just made the decision that I wanted to be more affectionate. Unfortunately my kids did not grow up with me being overly affectionate and now I try to make up for it (without going overboard). One is very receptive and the other is a bit more standoffish. So one I lip kiss and the other I cheek or forehead kiss, but I always hug them. I don't think either is wrong (lips or cheeks for our kids), but as long as both people are comfortable it is fine. __________________ Creativity is a drug I can't do without. -Cecil B. DeMille

04-16-2012, 02:26 PM	#2
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	I do air kisses, mwah mwah! I actually hate anyone but my partner (or whoever I happen to be sexually involved with) trying to give me lip kisses and it actively creeps me out if I watch other people do it to their children or friends. I really don't like it. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

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04-16-2012, 02:35 PM	#3
stargazingboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 1,954 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,392 Thanked 8,318 Times in 1,626 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hmmm ...this thread brings back fond memories indeed. My father’s family wasn’t very affectionate; hugs were and still are ridged. Kisses are brief on the cheek, and I love yous exchanged only as adults, and only after death came knocking and the realization that one doesn’t want to miss saying what is in the heart. My mother’s side of the family was the extreme opposite. Always touching, sitting on laps, hugging and kissing whenever and whatever was offered (lips, cheek, head, hand, etc). My brothers and I are the same as my mother…very touchy. We lean on each other when sitting near…touch each other just to be touching. My Grammy still counts kisses and hugs…if you don’t give her one (no matter who you are) she’ll count and make you give her two of each on the way out (my mother does the same thing). I don’t think anything of kissing who ever on the lips, because it’s not intimate to me. To me there is a much different exchange between partners that creates the intimacy. My mother still sits on my lap…kisses my lips…holds my face…and looks into my eyes as only a momma could. I respect those who live differently and the boundaries they hold...but for me, I adore it and wouldn’t change a thing.