A kiss is just a kiss

[pinkgeek]

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

It is a cultural thing from my experience; both my Maori and Italian family kissed on the lips and affection was shown freely (this is why I’m an affection bucket, lol!). In my Maori family, we do a Hongi; we press noses and foreheads together and exchange the breath of each other’s life….. It’s our version of a handshake. My closest Whenau (family) always kiss on the lips afterwards.

I will Hongi my English cousin and kiss him on the cheek and very occasionally on the lips; usually at Christmas and Birthday’s.

Friends, I sometimes Hongi and kiss on the cheek depending on their comfort level.

I'm mostly aclimatized to mainland culture and I forget on the islands how affectionate people are, even people who aren't close. I had to help my Mum and her ladies auxiliary with some stuff this morning and many of the ladies had not met me before. It was kisses and hugs from all the Aunties who have been "waiting forever to meet Beryl's daughter".

My Mum and I still Hongi and kiss both cheeks when I leave the island or come back. My queer family - we kiss, hug, snuggle and are very affectionate.

Excellent topic!!!

[bright_arrow]

I can not really recall if my family was affectionate.. I suppose it was more of a rarity with my immediate family. My mother's family though, we are all huggers. However, I reserve contact for my close friends and family. I am okay when other people try to hug me, I just have to pick up on the cue. I will not try to hug anyone outside of my family, friends have to initiate it.

If someone tried to kiss me on the lips, honestly, it would bother me. I can not pinpoint why exactly, but it would. The kiddo hugs me sometimes and she will go to kiss me on the mouth and I automatically avert but kiss her cheek or the top of her head.

Obviously, I am most affectionate with my partner. I love to hug and hold hands and cuddle, but reserve that part of me for my partner. Sometimes when we visit my family I will cuddle up next to my mom and put my head on her shoulder, but we have not always been like that. My dad is a big hugger now that I've grown, and I like it

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by pinkgeek

I'm mostly aclimatized to mainland culture and I forget on the islands how affectionate people are, even people who aren't close. I had to help my Mum and her ladies auxiliary with some stuff this morning and many of the ladies had not met me before. It was kisses and hugs from all the Aunties who have been "waiting forever to meet Beryl's daughter".

My Mum and I still Hongi and kiss both cheeks when I leave the island or come back. My queer family - we kiss, hug, snuggle and are very affectionate.

Excellent topic!!!

My first visit to the UK to study, I had a few unpleasant comments about why couldn’t I keep my hands to myself. It did hurt, then I learned to read the ‘signals’ and go from there. Going from one country to another with different attitudes to touching and being affectionate is stressful; especially when I felt almost straight Jacket-ed because being touchy-feely wasn’t the done thing.

When I meet anyone for the first time, I always take their hand and hold their arm, whilst smiling.

If I should meet any members here, the first thing I’d do after smiling at them, is open my arms for a hug. One of my partners and some dates have told me that I’m overly-affectionate….. They did admit that they weren’t that affectionate.

I’m very kinaesthetic and literally see the world through touch. If I don’t like someone, then I hate being touched be them and touching them.

[Sparkle]

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

My first visit to the UK to study, I had a few unpleasant comments about why couldn’t I keep my hands to myself. It did hurt, then I learned to read the ‘signals’ and go from there. Going from one country to another with different attitudes to touching and being affectionate is stressful; especially when I felt almost straight Jacket-ed because being touchy-feely wasn’t the done thing.

I think it is fascinating how much our experiences can vary.

I am a very affectionate person (see previous wanton kissing post) BUT I am a bit shy when meeting new people and it takes me a little while to warm up & feel I know someone well enough to extend an affectionate gesture.

I was taken aback when I first moved to the UK to find that people were so affectionate with out really knowing me/having met me before - warm hugs & cheek kisses (instead of handshakes) were the normal introductory exchange and bigger hugs and enthusiastic cheek/lip kisses were the standard after that -- and it surprised me. Perhaps I was just adopted by a very affectionate group of people. I acclimated quite quickly, of course, but it was completely contrary to what I expected from the stereotypical stiff upper lip British reserve.

[Nurse Darlin]

Y girls are 15, 12, and 6. They all 3 kiss me on the lips with no hesitation. Many of my family member kiss me on the lips as well. I have few friends that do, but, maybe its because they don't know how I would feel about it. Who knows? I think its sweet and appropriate for someone you have a nice friendship of close family bond with. I hope my kids never get tired of kissing their Mommy!

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by Sparkle

I think it is fascinating how much our experiences can vary.

I am a very affectionate person (see previous wanton kissing post) BUT I am a bit shy when meeting new people and it takes me a little while to warm up & feel I know someone well enough to extend an affectionate gesture.

I was taken aback when I first moved to the UK to find that people were so affectionate with out really knowing me/having met me before - warm hugs & cheek kisses (instead of handshakes) were the normal introductory exchange and bigger hugs and enthusiastic cheek/lip kisses were the standard after that -- and it surprised me. Perhaps I was just adopted by a very affectionate group of people. I acclimated quite quickly, of course, but it was completely contrary to what I expected from the stereotypical stiff upper lip British reserve.

In my experience it depends where in the UK you are..... My first time here I was living in Richmond-Upon-Thames (very posh ara) as I was studying at Hampton Court Palace and there, people are very stiff upper lip and all that. When I moved to Windsor a few months later people were more open mainly due to all the tourists for the Castle.

I moved to Henley-on-Thames in Oxford (to get away from tourists) and got the stiff upper lip again, until the locals got know me. Scotland and East London and East Anglia people are more like Octopus's, lol!