a'ishah's writing

aishah · 04-27-2012, 04:22 PM

i've been getting back into blogging and i posted this on a group blog recently. i have a couple of other blog posts for group blogs due in the next week.

i love blogging but i haven't done it in a few years, and even when i did do it, it was somewhat sporadic. when i blog it feels contrived to me sometimes. or...i don't know how to explain it. i've gotten out of the habit of writing in general and i am trying to get back into it. i just...have those years (decades?) where i hate everything i write.

it's funny because when posting on boards or even talking with people and writing letters i can be pretty wordy in a way that feels authentic to me. but sometimes when i turn that into a blog post or an article it ends up feeling less authentic to me. i don't recognize myself in it quite as much, or i don't like the tone i write in, but i don't know how to change that. i think it's connected to my dissociation issues - i have a hard time recognizing myself physically and i have a lot of other physical/emotional dissociation problems. they've gotten better over the last few years - i don't have long periods where i dissociate and it doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life as much - but it's definitely still there. recognizing myself in the things i've created is sometimes impossible, too.

this space feels pretty safe to me. i'm not sure what else i want to put here. there are some things i'm not super comfortable putting here because it's in the public forum area. but...knowing that i have this thread and the blogging commitments i have is giving me an extra push to start writing more regularly again. (even if it's just filling notebook paper that will never see the light of day.)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Threaded Mode

04-27-2012, 04:22 PM	#5
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,442 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	i've been getting back into blogging and i posted this on a group blog recently. i have a couple of other blog posts for group blogs due in the next week. i love blogging but i haven't done it in a few years, and even when i did do it, it was somewhat sporadic. when i blog it feels contrived to me sometimes. or...i don't know how to explain it. i've gotten out of the habit of writing in general and i am trying to get back into it. i just...have those years (decades?) where i hate everything i write. it's funny because when posting on boards or even talking with people and writing letters i can be pretty wordy in a way that feels authentic to me. but sometimes when i turn that into a blog post or an article it ends up feeling less authentic to me. i don't recognize myself in it quite as much, or i don't like the tone i write in, but i don't know how to change that. i think it's connected to my dissociation issues - i have a hard time recognizing myself physically and i have a lot of other physical/emotional dissociation problems. they've gotten better over the last few years - i don't have long periods where i dissociate and it doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life as much - but it's definitely still there. recognizing myself in the things i've created is sometimes impossible, too. this space feels pretty safe to me. i'm not sure what else i want to put here. there are some things i'm not super comfortable putting here because it's in the public forum area. but...knowing that i have this thread and the blogging commitments i have is giving me an extra push to start writing more regularly again. (even if it's just filling notebook paper that will never see the light of day.)