Long Distance - How do you cope?

[Abigail Crabby]

Originally Posted by Julie

Okay... Here goes.

I am in a very long distance relationship with Dreamer. Dreamer lives in Australia and I live in New York - There is 16k miles between us and right now a 14 hour time difference. We have been doing this for about 18 months. I have been there 2 times and Dreamer has been here once. It is HARD.

Video chat - Skype - Yahoo Video - Movie Nights - Dinner -- Sometimes the video camera is on from the time Dreamer wakes up, till I go to bed. Sometimes we don't even talk. We say goodnight on the phone every night.

Communication is KEY! And so is arguing and not being afraid to be cranky and everything else that goes with relationships. I get really cranky - ask anybody who knows me. I cry a lot and I yell a lot. Dreamer is more balanced, because really only one of us can fall apart at one time and it seems to be me. I fall apart a LOT. But you have to let the other person fall apart TOO - I am not so good at this, but trying to be less selfish, which is also a struggle - cause I am realllllllllllllllllllllllly selfish.

Seeing one another every 3-4 weeks is really quite glorious. Be happy for this and who knows... You live in Canada, a country which allows partner immigration and marriage. The United States does not. At least not yet.

Also --

When you are having doubts or feeling like you cannot do this one more minute - Just imagine the alternative and if it does not sit well or makes you sad - then the alternative is not an option.

Good LUCK!

Julie

It warms my heart to hear I'm not the only one who gets cranky and cries alot.

I can't be upbeat 24/7 I wish I could - but there are times when things in my life are pissing me off or making me depressed - those are the time I seem to need that physical presence more than ever - Thank God for Face Time - even tho I know it drives Jo crazy when I am cranky or in a down mood, at least he tries to smile thru it.

As Julie stated communication is key - and I always say what's on my mind - sometimes Jo doesn't agree and is able to say exactly what is on his mind. Lucky for me he's great at communication as well.

We have a three hour time difference and it can be a drag at times, cuz I'm up at 5:30 am his time and he's up when I'm in bed so getting a chance to say goodnite isn't always possible.

But we spend quality time together and get together as often as we can. Do I need more physical time with Da Schmooze oh yeah I do - but we live on opposite coasts and can't make any changes so I've learned to value the times we do get together