Halp! I never developed gaydar and I need...

[imperfect_cupcake]

she is HOT lol

today though, she was extemely caring about my future in a tutor type way and yeah, it's just a game until I graduate.

blog link

I got a talking to at the end of the day today about basically being spun out, but she was completely and utterly right in saying so.

If anything, this is going to force me to focus because I have to be completely present and mindful. I am when I'm massaging, that's not the issue. But if I'm to succeed in the way Liz thinks I can, I have to really calm down, focus and slow down.

I've been given a training schedule and told I have to lose weight. Duh, yeah I know. But Liz told me I have to do weight lifting for my stomach, back, thighs and arms. She wants me to strengthen my wrists or I'm going to get damage. She asked me to look at the stomach muscles of the instructors, that's what she wants to see me with (fuck! really?? jesus!). She also told me I'm going to have to strap down my tits. It will help with my back, it will stop intruding on my movements and it will also help prevent harassment at work.
"What size are they?"
"H."
"Well, nice for some things I'm sure *smirk* however, I think in this instance you need a compression bra for massage."
"Yeah, to be honest I'm finding it a complete pain in the ass."
She grabbed my trapezious, squeezed and put a hand across a pectoral. "No. It's no good. you are way too tight from them. You need to stretch your pecs and throw your chest out more. If you have a compression bra I'm sure you'd feel more confident about throwing your shoulders back. You might want to wear it around to improve your posture. You can't be this tight, Barb. It will wind up damaging you when you work."
"ok."
"and I know I told you about those nails. If I see you again with paint, you'll get one of my famous fines -"
"-yep, I just needed to -"
"and I meant what I said about owning you when you are here, got it? So if I see you arriving with no helmet again, you get a fine. I think I want doughnuts. So, no helmet, you buy doughnuts."
"ech. too sweet."
"Hmn, yer sweet enough... *grin*.... doesn't matter, I'll be eating them. Now bugger off and pack up your stuff."

Liz is a horrible flirt but she's a good instructor and I am very glad she gives a shit enough to kick my ass. I feel cared about as her student. I think I kind of needed feeling that. It's nice to know someone is looking out for me in a specific way and thinks I have potential enough to push me.

so yeah, I think Nat, I'll keep it at appreciative. She's looking out for me and for that, I owe some respect of a different kind. By working as hard as I can.