For those for whom Mother's Day is not a Good Day

[deedarino]

(((( HUGSSS )))) to you all...


When I was 7, my mom bailed. She was and still is a miserable human being, and I hate feeling obligated to call her. So this year I didn't.

[fever]

This is the first Mother's Day without my mother. She passed away last July 30, and I have missed her every day. I wanted to call her today and tell her how sorry I was for not listening to her stories more, for not calling more, for not sharing the special moments of my life with her.

But, I have rallied, and have decided to have a little section in the garden of the new house that will represent what she loved. Flowers and figurines. I look out at a beautiful two toned liliac tree. I am going to fix the area underneath so that every time I am outside, she will feel closer. Where she is buried is too far for me to drive to every time I want to give her some special talk time.

My own children? Oh, daughter came by with a card and a quick hug, and my son breezed in, gave me a plant and card, and went off with his friends to enjoy our sunshine.

So, I am sitting and watching House Hunters and other such shows so I can travel via my comfy chair. I am happy with my current life, and I know it is okay to grieve for my wonderful mother and best friend.

Blessings to all,
Candice

[nycfem]

Mother's Day today was not an easy one.
Family dysfunction and blow-ups.
I held my fragile 97-year-old grandmother's hand, as she shook and tears ran down her face. Her daughter, my aunt, yelled and read from a paper all of my grandmother's failings. My aunt J refused to return all that she's stolen from my grandmother's now nearly empty apartment. My uncle D yelled at me. When my aunt and her family left in a rage, we went inside and had tea and cake. Said my brother, "This all feels so bizarre." Yet he made me a nice cup of Chamomile tea, and I sipped it until it was time to leave.

[aishah]

i've been working all day because i am really stressed about money this week and i have to make a certain amount by tuesday and i'm afraid i'm not going to make it :\ i did call my sister and my friend's mom. my sister gave me a pep talk and i left a 'happy mother's day' message on my friend's mom's voicemail. i've been sad and stressed but...it's okay. i'm still here. tomorrow's another day.

[NJFemmie]

Mother's Day isn't as bad as it used to be for me. I lost my mom when I was 14, and the years that followed were pretty rough until I got older - and it got better ...

Each year I just light a candle, send a prayer and move on with my day ...

[Kätzchen]

Thank you Ruthie for your thread.

I’m a mother; and my own mother, as nice and sincere as she once could be, used to be a big part of my life until I learned how she betrayed us at our own expense. I still experience fallout each Mother’s Day. 💔

Mother’s Day can be such a cruel holiday.

Thanks Ruthie for a place to come sit and breathe during stressful days like today.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Happy Mother's Day, Mama. This is the second Mother's Day of my life that we can't be together. I miss you so much.

Remember how Mother's Day used to be our day, alone? My birthday only a few days away, or occasionally the same day. No dad, no sister, just you and me, the only day of the year that was just ours. We would do things together like bake, or when you were younger we would go to the plant nursery and plant things in my yard. Several years we went to the Botanical Gardens; remember the year we took a class on native plants? Sometimes we substituted Saturday for Sunday so we could do fun things like take a class or sightsee. Once we took the whole weekend and went to Callaway Gardens. We both loved the butterfly house. We stayed in a cabin, and you got suspicious when I let you beat me at Scrabble.

This year, I baked an apple walnut cake and thought of all the delicious things we made together in that Bundt pan. It turned out pretty well, but it was a lot of work. There were lots of apples to peel and chop, and stirring the thick batter was like stirring peanut butter. I twisted my wrist and bent an industrial stainless steel spoon stirring it; sorry about your spoon. I got that recipe from the New York Times. Don't think I'll be making that one again.

I love you. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whether or not you're a mother now. I will always remember you.