Butches and Body Image - Let's Talk About It

[AlexHunter]

I've been meaning to come back around and reply to this thread.

I have been called "it" more times than I can count throughout my life. I find it very disrespectful to have my humanity discredited like that.

I noticed some of you mentioned insecurities about not being big enough. Count me in with that one. While I am somewhat tall (between 5'7" and 5'8"), I am also somewhat slim. I do have broad shoulders and a little bit of muscle, but most people just say I am small/skinny/etc. I don't like that. I don't want people assuming I am weak or believing I am in any way scrawny.

In my mind, I'm big (in the buff way) and hulked to hell. At the same time, I accept my body for what it is. I'm healthy, in shape, and actually quite strong. I think it is human nature to want what you do not have or to desire to be "better." I have attempted to gain muscle weight and been successful at it, but getting any further than where I've gotten requires an extent of dedication that I honestly don't have at this point.

At the same time, I feel I have no right to complain about this because I know too many people who would probably slaughter a small country to be "naturally thin."

With regards to smiling, yes, everyone likes a smile... and it took me awhile to like my own. My smile is very feminine and has "given me away" before. During more dysphoric periods of my life, I refused to smile in pictures entirely because I thought it made me look female.

My friends kept telling me what a nice smile I had and encouraged me to smile more. I eventually decided they were right.