Parker's Pad

[Parker]

A story ....

Feeding my Taiwan puppy, Jack in the morning is easy because I went back to feeding him the refrigerated food roll once a day since he refused to eat the crunchy food twice a day - some days, he wouldnt eat at all, so I had no choice because he is a skinny little puppy.

Anyway, now he eats his morning meal with his doggie prozac and he gobbles it down in a couple minutes - but in the evening, when I put out the crunchy food, it is on. lol

Sometimes, he needs me to be in the room with him, sometimes he needs me to be away from the room, sometimes he needs it quiet in the house, sometimes not - the night before last, he sat in here for a couple of hours, refusing to eat until finally it was time for bed and I put the food away - and when I came in here, he was shaking so uncontrollably, it was pathetic. Last night, he laid down on the floor for over an hour - I called out to him from the living room to put that food in his belly and a few minutes later, he got up and started eating it.

This boy, I swear. He reminds me of me when I was a kid and my mom served us cooked beets for dinner. I hated beets (I think I was the only one though - everyone else loved them) and refused to eat them - she and dad said I would sit there until I ate the beets.

Well, I ate everything off of my plate except the beets, I just left them there and sat there with them on the plate in front of me. mom, dad, Julie, and Bill all finished their dinner - Julie and Bill were excused from the table and they went with dad into the living room to watch TV.

Still, I sat there with those beets on my otherwise empty plate while my mom cleared the table and did the dishes. She finished the dishes, wiped down the table around me, put the runner and centerpiece back on the table, turned off the lights and went into the living room, leaving me sitting there in the dark with my plate of beets.

Eventually - and I have no idea how long this was but in my memory and to my child's mind, it felt like hours went by - mom and dad sent me to bed as the plate of beets still sat there on the table.

What a frustratingly stubborn kid I was - I cant imagine having to deal with me as a parent, lol - but dealing with this picky, stubborn, anxious puppy at least gives me a hint. ;o)

[Parker]

I went out this morning to find a small hard back book out of which I could make a "book safe" because the last time I made one, I used a paperback book and used too much glue so it was obvious what it was before you even picked it up from the shelf. lol

But I digress; while I was wandering back and forth, looking for something that I could use and that wouldnt look out of place on my shelf, something caught my eye. It was hard back and the front/back covers were tied together over the bound pages. It was brown with a leaf pattern on it and the title "Leaves of Gold," which is "an anthology of prayers, memorable phrases, inspirational verse, and prose" from circa 1938 - this is the 1948 revised edition.

I bought it and at first, I didnt know what to do with it, but now as I am typing, it occurs to me that I might could send it to my nephew/godson and his fiance as a wedding gift -- it feels like a good gift to come from an Aunt/Godmother when you get married, yes?

This picture is of the cover and then I opened the book to a random page to show the inside.

[gaea]

Originally Posted by Parker

I went out this morning to find a small hard back book out of which I could make a "book safe" because the last time I made one, I used a paperback book and used too much glue so it was obvious what it was before you even picked it up from the shelf. lol

But I digress; while I was wandering back and forth, looking for something that I could use and that wouldnt look out of place on my shelf, something caught my eye. It was hard back and the front/back covers were tied together over the bound pages. It was brown with a leaf pattern on it and the title "Leaves of Gold," which is "an anthology of prayers, memorable phrases, inspirational verse, and prose" from circa 1938 - this is the 1948 revised edition.

I bought it and at first, I didnt know what to do with it, but now as I am typing, it occurs to me that I might could send it to my nephew/godson and his fiance as a wedding gift -- it feels like a good gift to come from an Aunt/Godmother when you get married, yes?

This picture is of the cover and then I opened the book to a random page to show the inside.

What a beautiful book...

[Parker]

I thought so - it really called out to me from the shelf and once I held it in my hands, I knew I wouldnt be leaving without it.

[Parker]

Heard a knock on my door - opened the peep-door and saw my next door neighbor standing out there with her arm in a sling.

Turns out she was motorcycle riding with some friends the other day, doing almost 60mph in a 35mph zone as she tried to catch up to them. She hit some gravel on a curve and broke, which stood the bike up - she lost control, her bike hit head-on into a pole and she went flying through the air, landing on her left side and breaking her collarbone.

She was wearing a full-face helmet and denim so other than the collar bone, there was minimal damage to her body but the bike was totaled. She is not sure she wants to get another motorcycle.

Needless to say, she will not be riding in Pride.


It is sometimes scary to think about, but so many bike accidents that I hear or read about - or watch on youtube lol - are due to loss of control because of speed and power. My neighbor admitted that her bike is really powerful and it was so easy to speed and not realize how fast she was going at times.

I know that we are supposed to go just a bit faster than all of the cars around us so that we are more visible, but I am more of a "Sunday driver" - I am out there to cruise along and enjoy the experience of what I imagine is the closest I will ever come to flying. I give the people around me a wide berth and keep my head on a swivel - which, once you've been surrounded by helicopters and jets, is kinda second nature. lol

I feel bad for her - she is pretty shell-shocked. I remember when I was a 21yo baby dyke on my first bike and I was riding, lost, in San Diego in the middle of the night right after it rained. I saw a car out of the corner of my eye braking and when I looked up, I saw a yellow light. Instead of just running the yellow light, I panicked, hit my front brakes, and my bike and I were one with the pavement for about half a block, sliding into home plate in the middle of an intersection.

I remember getting up after that, getting back on my bike, and driving for a few blocks before pulling over so I could stop shaking. I can understand her feeling of not wanting another bike but I kinda hope she is able to overcome that and get another one some day.

My friend Michele might be coming here for Pride from SE Washington - she rides a trike, so I am going to ask her if my neighbor could ride with her. If they both agree, at least my neighbor can have the feeling of riding with the Dykes on Bikes and maybe that will help her decide if she wants to ride again ....

[Parker]

I didnt even have to ask my friend Michele if my neighbor could ride with her on her trike - as soon as she saw the pic and heard the story, she offered.

Michele likes to play "dyke for a day" and come ride with the Dykes on Bikes in her trike - she did it the first time in 2010, which was my first time as well. She said she did it because she knew I wouldnt do it unless I went with someone, but she had such a damn blast - everyone stopped to oogle her trike and she loved riding in the parade so much she also rode in the Tri-Cities (eastern WA) parade with a gay youth. She volunteers with LGBT youth and had some sort of contest or drawing or something to give a kid a chance to ride with her in the parade and the kid in the below pic is the one who won.

She wasnt able to ride with me last year because she is a diabetic who has been battling some pretty serious infections in her feet and keeps having to have surgeries, toe amputations, etc - always with the wearing of those big giant boot things and last summer was surgery time so this Pride should be fun because she will be able to ride with us again!

Anyway, not sure if my neighbor will say yes, but I really hope she does - I really think riding in this trike will help her deal with her fears over what happened to her.

While I love Michele's little trike, if I was going to get one (which I really kinda want one now), I wouldnt get one like hers. Number 1, it is more like a tiny convertible car on 3 wheels with its car steering wheel, car pedals, trunk, and body; and number 2, it cost like $32k - wtf! No, if I get one, it will be the kind that looks like a motorcycle in the front and just happen to have 2 wheels (training wheel, lol) in the back.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Parker

This boy, I swear. He reminds me of me when I was a kid and my mom served us cooked beets for dinner. I hated beets (I think I was the only one though - everyone else loved them) and refused to eat them - she and dad said I would sit there until I ate the beets.

Well, I ate everything off of my plate except the beets, I just left them there and sat there with them on the plate in front of me. mom, dad, Julie, and Bill all finished their dinner - Julie and Bill were excused from the table and they went with dad into the living room to watch TV.

Still, I sat there with those beets on my otherwise empty plate while my mom cleared the table and did the dishes. She finished the dishes, wiped down the table around me, put the runner and centerpiece back on the table, turned off the lights and went into the living room, leaving me sitting there in the dark with my plate of beets.

Eventually - and I have no idea how long this was but in my memory and to my child's mind, it felt like hours went by - mom and dad sent me to bed as the plate of beets still sat there on the table.

What a frustratingly stubborn kid I was - I cant imagine having to deal with me as a parent, lol - but dealing with this picky, stubborn, anxious puppy at least gives me a hint. ;o)

I posted this same story on my FB and my mom commented on it a few times - she didnt discount how things happened, but said I wasnt sitting there for hours lol. She also hinted towards the fact that making me sit there with those beets on my plate was a parenting mistake - and I think she feels bad about it.

What she doesnt understand - and I am not sure she ever will because we are so different in this respect - is that I love the hell out of that story and tell it with a smile. Anyone who knows me can picture my stubborn ass sitting there in the dark with those damn beets instead of just giving in and doing what mom wanted by swallowing them down so I could leave the table!

She probably thinks it's a bad story and that it makes me dislike her or think she was a bad parent or that my childhood was omg-ruined or something - whereas I think it is such a great story that perfectly expresses how frustrating it must have been to be my parent ... or boss ... or commanding officer ... or ... lol.

Poor mom - I should send her an e-book (she loves her Kindle!) or something.

[Parker]

An old friend messaged me on FB telling me she and her wife might be coming to Pride this year and she asked me what all was happening that weekend.

It was so weird talking to her because we knew each other 20 years ago when I was a baby dyke in the Navy stationed in San Diego (or San Dog) and holy hell, did I have it bad for her! lol

I had *just* come out, hadnt even dated any women, and spent most of my time either on the flight deck at my squadron or hanging in the local lesbo bar where I worked as a barback. I met her through a friend - they were also in the Navy - and I was hooked from the first hello.

She was a bit older and so confident - cocky, really - and in fact that was what stopped me from having her be my first .... she literally counted how many virgins she had had and while to some that might be a turn on, I didnt want to be another number - another notch on the headboard, so to speak. So we just became really good friends.

I remember once, she was stationed in Korea and I would send her tapes of me chatting with her instead of letters - I even mailed off a tape recorder with the first tape so she could listen to them all.

She was still there over Christmas so I sent her 2 things: one was a really small Christmas tree with tiny little ball ornaments and garland; and the other was her favorite beer - Corona - each wrapped individually in bubble wrap and then put into a box. She said when she got the beer it was still cold and none of them had had anything like that for months so she and her friends sat by the fire and each had a beer - it was the best beer they ever had.

Anyway, I digress ..... I think about that baby dyke and how silly she was, how little confidence she had, how scared she was of the world in general and when I chatted with J the other day, it felt like we had switched places.

She is physically disabled like me and also like me, she has gained weight (we are both carrying around a Back Street Boy - and they arent as light as they look!) ... but over the years, it seems that she has lost a lot of her confidence and while I dont consider myself cocky, I am confident in who I am and I am content with my life.

It's like we're two different people than those women from 20 years ago ... I look back and it feels like, literally, another lifetime and I have no idea who those people are!

[nycfem]

This is very moving. I love the combination of such vivid memories (the cold beer) and thinking how things have changed. I am enjoying your prose very much.

Originally Posted by Parker

An old friend messaged me on FB telling me she and her wife might be coming to Pride this year and she asked me what all was happening that weekend.

It was so weird talking to her because we knew each other 20 years ago when I was a baby dyke in the Navy stationed in San Diego (or San Dog) and holy hell, did I have it bad for her! lol

I had *just* come out, hadnt even dated any women, and spent most of my time either on the flight deck at my squadron or hanging in the local lesbo bar where I worked as a barback. I met her through a friend - they were also in the Navy - and I was hooked from the first hello.

She was a bit older and so confident - cocky, really - and in fact that was what stopped me from having her be my first .... she literally counted how many virgins she had had and while to some that might be a turn on, I didnt want to be another number - another notch on the headboard, so to speak. So we just became really good friends.

I remember once, she was stationed in Korea and I would send her tapes of me chatting with her instead of letters - I even mailed off a tape recorder with the first tape so she could listen to them all.

She was still there over Christmas so I sent her 2 things: one was a really small Christmas tree with tiny little ball ornaments and garland; and the other was her favorite beer - Corona - each wrapped individually in bubble wrap and then put into a box. She said when she got the beer it was still cold and none of them had had anything like that for months so she and her friends sat by the fire and each had a beer - it was the best beer they ever had.

Anyway, I digress ..... I think about that baby dyke and how silly she was, how little confidence she had, how scared she was of the world in general and when I chatted with J the other day, it felt like we had switched places.

She is physically disabled like me and also like me, she has gained weight (we are both carrying around a Back Street Boy - and they arent as light as they look!) ... but over the years, it seems that she has lost a lot of her confidence and while I dont consider myself cocky, I am confident in who I am and I am content with my life.

It's like we're two different people than those women from 20 years ago ... I look back and it feels like, literally, another lifetime and I have no idea who those people are!