Parker's Pad

[nycfem]

This is very moving. I love the combination of such vivid memories (the cold beer) and thinking how things have changed. I am enjoying your prose very much.

Originally Posted by Parker

An old friend messaged me on FB telling me she and her wife might be coming to Pride this year and she asked me what all was happening that weekend.

It was so weird talking to her because we knew each other 20 years ago when I was a baby dyke in the Navy stationed in San Diego (or San Dog) and holy hell, did I have it bad for her! lol

I had *just* come out, hadnt even dated any women, and spent most of my time either on the flight deck at my squadron or hanging in the local lesbo bar where I worked as a barback. I met her through a friend - they were also in the Navy - and I was hooked from the first hello.

She was a bit older and so confident - cocky, really - and in fact that was what stopped me from having her be my first .... she literally counted how many virgins she had had and while to some that might be a turn on, I didnt want to be another number - another notch on the headboard, so to speak. So we just became really good friends.

I remember once, she was stationed in Korea and I would send her tapes of me chatting with her instead of letters - I even mailed off a tape recorder with the first tape so she could listen to them all.

She was still there over Christmas so I sent her 2 things: one was a really small Christmas tree with tiny little ball ornaments and garland; and the other was her favorite beer - Corona - each wrapped individually in bubble wrap and then put into a box. She said when she got the beer it was still cold and none of them had had anything like that for months so she and her friends sat by the fire and each had a beer - it was the best beer they ever had.

Anyway, I digress ..... I think about that baby dyke and how silly she was, how little confidence she had, how scared she was of the world in general and when I chatted with J the other day, it felt like we had switched places.

She is physically disabled like me and also like me, she has gained weight (we are both carrying around a Back Street Boy - and they arent as light as they look!) ... but over the years, it seems that she has lost a lot of her confidence and while I dont consider myself cocky, I am confident in who I am and I am content with my life.

It's like we're two different people than those women from 20 years ago ... I look back and it feels like, literally, another lifetime and I have no idea who those people are!