Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[Martina]

i've said this before, but this gets my goat. Picking me up and THEN stopping at the ATM or for gas. Do that BEFORE you pick me up. Basic courtesy. i don't even do that to friends unless i get rushed or something. They don't need to sit through my errands.

Seriously, a butch picked me up once and did both -- got gas and went to the ATM. Then she got lost. Great preparation.

[SleepyButch]

Originally Posted by Martina

i've said this before, but this gets my goat. Picking me up and THEN stopping at the ATM or for gas. Do that BEFORE you pick me up. Basic courtesy. i don't even do that to friends unless i get rushed or something. They don't need to sit through my errands.

Seriously, a butch picked me up once and did both -- got gas and went to the ATM. Then she got lost. Great preparation.

What the heck??? I think a Butch should get gas well before picking you up. Who wants to smell like gas when they want to get close to a femme??

[Little Fish]

Originally Posted by Martina

i've said this before, but this gets my goat. Picking me up and THEN stopping at the ATM or for gas. Do that BEFORE you pick me up. Basic courtesy. i don't even do that to friends unless i get rushed or something. They don't need to sit through my errands.

Seriously, a butch picked me up once and did both -- got gas and went to the ATM. Then she got lost. Great preparation.

I agree with you and SleepyButch--total rookie.
Stick with the Varsity Butch team honey....

[KayCee]

Don't ever let me wait.....

[Nadeest]

Treat me like a lady, and remember, the small things count enormously with me, as I have seldom received them before. Money doesn't matter a whole lot to me. As far as i am concerned, we can have as good a time at a McDonalds as at a fancy restaurant, if we choose to do so.

[~ocean]

i think a first date should be a very impressive one ~ light at heart , fun, flitatious ,and most of all . well mannered on both parts. second date, now more familar with eachother, could be more romantic , still light at heart , interesting convos, with a flirtatious and teasing overtone . third date now u can tell me about urself, ur family, ur achievements ,it's sexy when self confidence becomes enpowering. fourth date .. ahh u will become aware of my submissive side, and I ur domiante side , suttle seduction on my part , ur awareness will show in ur eyes, maybe someplace quiet and out of the way , sex comes into play , built up passions , leaves me with something to think about till we see eachother again

[atomiczombie]

I love how this thread keeps popping up from time to time. I read every post and learn so much. I really appreciate all your responses ladies.

[SweetJane]

I think we've all had horror stories. Mine is I was asked to lunch when I was in town. Called to see where to meet and was told to the person's house. I spent all afternoon watching this person wash and comb out her three dogs.... Never saw her again......

So how do I want to be treated on a date?

I want the butch to show some interest. It doesn't have to be extravagant. Just show me that you want to know me.

Be on time or call if you'll be delayed.

Of course, open the door for me and make sure I'm safe inside your vehicle.

Treat me as the lady I am in public but don't be shy about holding my hand or putting an arm around me. Just don't be all over me. (That's more about you than about your interest in me.)

Talk to me. Ask me questions. Tell me about your life and your goals and dreams. Make me laugh with your quirky view of life or your curious observations, not stock jokes.

Look at me. Let me see you.

Be attentive to what I reveal about what I like to do that are things you enjoy or have wanted to do. Challenge me gently to try new things. Broaden my experience with your experience and I will do the same.

I enjoy conversation. Get to know me. What we do on our dates will come from our mutual interests or our willingness to dip into those activities we've never tried--but would have with a trusted friend. Let trust build.

Affection will spring from this.

[cinderella]

Unless it is truly an unforseeable situation or circumstance, there is no excuse for making someone wait. It is one of my pet peeves. It shows lack of consideration, and disrespect - and if it is our first, or second date, or early in the relationship, it surely puts a dark mark against the butch - for me, anyway.

I expect to be treated with respect, consideration, gentlemanliness, and like the lady that I am.

I like a 'take-charge' butch who is confident, but not aggressive. He will be gentle, yet strong, and make me feel safe at all times.

Ideally, he will always pay for dinner, unless we agree to 'go Dutch' on special occasions. If he cannot afford an evening out, we will stay in and have a home-cooked dinner which he will make.

He will not make promises he cannot keep - another pet peeve. I don't take disappointment well. But I love surprises, and when I see that he has gone out of his way to make the evening special, and interesting, he surely is on the right path to my heart.

And the list goes on...but this will do for now.

Originally Posted by Kitty4U

Don't ever let me wait.....

[Martina]

Originally Posted by cinderella

I like a 'take-charge' butch who is confident, but not aggressive. He will be gentle, yet strong, and make me feel safe at all times.

Ideally, he will always pay for dinner, unless we agree to 'go Dutch' on special occasions. If he cannot afford an evening out, we will stay in and have a home-cooked dinner which he will make.

It's funny how different we all are. I would not touch that butch with a ten foot pole.

If someone kept trying to make me feel safe, I would be annoyed. The paying thing would not work for me either. I don't like the the idea that I am supposed to be taken care of.

Fine if we take care of one another. Fine if I am a submissive and there is that reciprocity. But that I am explicitly the one in the relationship to be taken care of and kept safe. No. Thank. You.

[cinderella]

Yes, how different we all are. I'm lucky enough to have a daddy that complements me completely - we are truly the ying and yang. He loves making me feel safe and protected (even tho in reality he knows I very well can take care of myself, and do - I always have).

He also likes being in charge of alot of things, and I know when to give over the reins, tho I am a very capable 'driver' - and he knows that too.

I have spent a lifetime taking care of others - and I'm not talking family - it's nice to find someone who wants to take care of me for a change. Our relationship is not a complete one-sided thing - we know our limitations, and what we can actually do, but we have a lovely understanding, and we like it just the way it is. We fit snugly just like a jigsaw puzzle.

To each his own, and Viva la differencia!!

Originally Posted by Martina

It's funny how different we all are. I would not touch that butch with a ten foot pole.

If someone kept trying to make me feel safe, I would be annoyed. The paying thing would not work for me either. I don't like the the idea that I am supposed to be taken care of.

Fine if we take care of one another. Fine if I am a submissive and there is that reciprocity. But that I am explicitly the one in the relationship to be taken care of and kept safe. No. Thank. You.

[Leigh]

Just treat me well, be respectful and show me your interested

[gaea]

i like to be treated with respect always, i am respectful and in my honest opinion and belief it should be returned.

show honor and integrity...

I do not like mind games and Im simply not willing to play them.