Ask a trans person!

[pajama]

Originally Posted by Liam

I have found the best shaving "cream" to be the old fashioned round of soap that sits in the bottom of a mug and requires a brush to apply. As for razors, I have discovered that a straight edge razor, yet another old fashioned item, gives me the closest shave yet. The ritual of sharpening with a stone, and then using the leather strop to tweak the edge, do not lend themselves to hurried mornings, but the results are most satisfying.

I could definetly do the mug/soap. But for the life of me I have never been able to sharpen a darn thing on anything. If I could keep it sharp, I would learn how to use a straight razor. I think their sexy as hell. Will you be at Reunion? Maybe you could offer a seminar. Admission, a cigar?

Thank you!
A

[Corkey]

I use shave oil (almond) with a hot towel first, after a shower, with Casswell-Massey almond shave soap with a badger bristle brush. Followed by a cooling after shave and Neutrogenia for men moisturizer with spf. I use Gillette Quatro razor.


A good close shave takes time.

[Linus]

I've been contemplating bottom surgery. At the very least a hysto and metoidioplasty but was curious what others have considered or have had done. PMs welcomed if that is more comfortable for you.

What I'm curious/concerned about are:

• costs (this is why I've ruled out phalloplasty)
• recovery time (metoi likely has the fastest recovery)
• ability to pee standing up without additional device.
• at what age did you do this

[Sun]

Hey Everyone

I recently reconnected with my Mom again after 16 years of her
cutting me off. Mom is very conservative Jehovahs Witness.

My life choices were just unceptable to her. While my siblings, childhood friends, friends ofbthe family and High School friends all had no trouble with my gender evolution, my Mom is in denial and does not want to discuss this.

I am very out and visible as a volunteer with 2 Narional groups. One is religious the other political. It would be impossible to avoid my male identity if she wanted to. When my sister refers to me in male pronouns or my nephews call me Uncle, Mom gets upset.

Everyone who saw me grow up gets me and can see a natural evolution.

I find myself wondering how to engage with my Mother in an authentic way.

Has anyone been through anything similar?

Thank you.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Sun

Hey Everyone

I recently reconnected with my Mom again after 16 years of her
cutting me off. Mom is very conservative Jehovahs Witness.

My life choices were just unceptable to her. While my siblings, childhood friends, friends ofbthe family and High School friends all had no trouble with my gender evolution, my Mom is in denial and does not want to discuss this.

I am very out and visible as a volunteer with 2 Narional groups. One is religious the other political. It would be impossible to avoid my male identity if she wanted to. When my sister refers to me in male pronouns or my nephews call me Uncle, Mom gets upset.

Everyone who saw me grow up gets me and can see a natural evolution.

I find myself wondering how to engage with my Mother in an authentic way.

Has anyone been through anything similar?

Thank you.

I'm sorry Sun, no mine were accepting. I have no pearls of wisdom but patience.

[Jaques]

Originally Posted by Sun

Hey Everyone

I recently reconnected with my Mom again after 16 years of her
cutting me off. Mom is very conservative Jehovahs Witness.

My life choices were just unceptable to her. While my siblings, childhood friends, friends ofbthe family and High School friends all had no trouble with my gender evolution, my Mom is in denial and does not want to discuss this.

I am very out and visible as a volunteer with 2 Narional groups. One is religious the other political. It would be impossible to avoid my male identity if she wanted to. When my sister refers to me in male pronouns or my nephews call me Uncle, Mom gets upset.

Everyone who saw me grow up gets me and can see a natural evolution.

I find myself wondering how to engage with my Mother in an authentic way.

Has anyone been through anything similar?

Thank you.

...........my parents had been "promote to Glory" as they say in the salvation army when they die, so i never had this problem, however i did have grown children, 2 sons and it wasnt easy and took a lot of time/patience. as you rightly quote on the bottom of your posts "choose love" - your mum loves you and wants the best for her child - however old you are, a parent still sees their offspring as their child and is protective of him/her. I feel the best way through this type of situation is to understand that whilst you are undoubtedly eager for acceptance, your mum has beliefs and feelings which dont allow her, at this moment in time, to see it from your view. I have found that patience, time and love helps enormously. Its not easy I know and your mum may never be able to accept who you are, which doesnt mean she doesnt love you - your own acceptance of her feelings would help. Unfortunately, we cant always have it the way we would wish but understanding that can help you deal with your own feelings.............

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by Sun

Hey Everyone

I recently reconnected with my Mom again after 16 years of her
cutting me off. Mom is very conservative Jehovahs Witness.

I find myself wondering how to engage with my Mother in an authentic way.

Has anyone been through anything similar?

Thank you.

Sun, I feel for you. The family stuff, gender and sexual orientation status may put many dynamics into play. My family (parents and siblings) are a mixed bag of liberals to ordained clergy conservatives.

To be authenic or to strive to be authenic does not rquire buy in from others. It is not easy to bare rejection, and disrespect from our family, it can hurt. However, you can continue to be authenic and live your life according to your values and choices.

It is not easy. Please do not think I am suggesting that to you. I myself do not have much contact with my brothers because of their response to my transistion. I believe they have always personalized my queerness expressed primarily in the masculine form, as some sort of personal threat to their own sense of masculinity or what it means to be a man. (I digress.)

If you would like to talk about your situation with me, one to one, pm me.

[The Oopster]

I don't know if this relates to you Sun or would help, but with my family I addressed the issue on how it effects them. I've made no claim that they need to accept me this way or that way but if they are going to be around me there are things they need to be aware of. That others do see me as a man and them calling me she will get them weird looks, them showing pictures of me and saying may daughter will get them weird looks ... etc. I suggested they at least start with gender neutral things. Like calling me lynd, calling me their child.

My brother has never given me a chance. He will only be around me if I'm the way he expects me to be. I've never said he had to do anything, call me he, koop or anything but he has chosen to not have me in his life the way I am.

With My parents I have taken baby steps. Until this winter I hadn't been home for about 4 or 5 years. They travel a lot and we would meet up places. I let them get to see me in areas where they didn't have to be concerned about others reactions. They've grown to accept me the way I am. Mom still isn't great with the pronouns but has gotten really good and calling me by a shortened version of my given name. Dad has called me son.

For me by not demanding anything from them I feel I've gotten more then I could imagine.

[Linus]

So a question I figured I'd ask but I know would be a small, limited audience. I'm currently attempting to get a green card via work. Unfortunately, because of my degrees and the strict requirements for that I ended up in what's known as the EB-3 category, which is general skilled professionals. Because of this, I'm looking at somewhere between 5-7 years before I might (and it's a huge might given some recent legislation going on in Congress/Senate right now) get a green card.

K and I have been talking about marriage for a few years now and I have even proposed to her. I still have to get her ring redone (in silver since the one I got her turned her finger green ?!). That said, I've contemplated getting my sex identifier changed on my ID and marrying her to see about getting the green card via marriage.

The questions I have is:

1. Has anyone done this?

2. For the medical interview portion, do you have to go to a doctor that is selected by USCIS or can you go to your general practitioner?

3. Does USCIS consider GID to be a "Physical or mental disorders with
harmful behavior" that would deny entry (I'm assuming no since I've been here for 5 years but this seems a different group from those that issue work visas).

Any input from those who have dealt with this kind of process (or similar if it was to another country) would be greatly appreciated.