older femmes

*Anya* · 07-16-2012, 07:47 PM

I will always be feminine, no matter how old I am because it is just a part of me, just as breathing in and out is a part of me.

To me, it has nothing to do with being girlish or womanly. It is an intrinsic part of who I am and aging has done nothing to diminish the feminine aspect of myself.

daisy loving: I love daisies but I love roses more

butterfly chasing: I did not chase butterflys as a young girl and do not imagine I will start now

barefoot: I walk barefoot now as much as I ever did

giggling: I still giggle when something tickles my fancy or my funnybone

daisy chain making: never did, probably never will

glitter loving: I never did like glitter even as a young girl-too messy for me

vulnerable: I am a very vulnerable person, always have been and imagine I will continue to be so until I am an old woman

sweet: I think sweetness has nothing to do with age

I think each of us may look at aging and girlishness or womanliness differently.

I never really gave much thought to being girlish but always have given being feminine a great deal of thought.

Maybe also because I am not dating, my "experience", "wisdom," "maturity" and "skill", does not factor into any equation for me or for my partner.

We accept each other where each of us are at this point in out lives, just as I work on accepting myself and where I am at today.

I try hard to not focus on my yesterdays or my tomorrows but to be here now.

Soft*Silver · 07-16-2012, 08:19 PM

Honeybarbara, no one takes away the girl in you except those you let do so..I still wear pink fur collars and just bought a pair of winter boots with glittery stars all over them (oh man what I get first picks on in my store!). I cant imagine being less of who I am just because my hair has changed color. the classic poem, "i shall wear purple" is all about claiming what women were refused to enjoy as young women. We, femmes today, got to be much more free and so now we have to write our own poem...one that promises we will never give up the daisy chains and lemon perfumes and glitter in our hair...

imperfect_cupcake · 07-17-2012, 02:54 AM

It's not that it's taken away, it's that it's not seen, not validated, not encouraged. Having a certain type of femininity is "admired" and desired. I still am who I am. I just feel the girl in me is far more invalid, invisible as I age. She's not wanted. What other want more and more as I age, is a bloody mum. And if that's not the role I want to give...

I have a mate who is 65 and she finds she gets this even from younger dykes as mates around her. She's seen as a maternal figure or historian. It pisses her off. When I've talked to her about how I'm feeling she's honest and said she doesn't feel girlish and she hasn't really identified with feeling girlish since her 20's so it's not part of her femininity, which is fine, we all have different kinds of femininity be she feels that she's forced into grandmotherly/motherly type femininity in the local community and she finds it very limiting.

07-16-2012, 07:47 PM	#1
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,447 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I will always be feminine, no matter how old I am because it is just a part of me, just as breathing in and out is a part of me. To me, it has nothing to do with being girlish or womanly. It is an intrinsic part of who I am and aging has done nothing to diminish the feminine aspect of myself. daisy loving: I love daisies but I love roses more butterfly chasing: I did not chase butterflys as a young girl and do not imagine I will start now barefoot: I walk barefoot now as much as I ever did giggling: I still giggle when something tickles my fancy or my funnybone daisy chain making: never did, probably never will glitter loving: I never did like glitter even as a young girl-too messy for me vulnerable: I am a very vulnerable person, always have been and imagine I will continue to be so until I am an old woman sweet: I think sweetness has nothing to do with age I think each of us may look at aging and girlishness or womanliness differently. I never really gave much thought to being girlish but always have given being feminine a great deal of thought. Maybe also because I am not dating, my "experience", "wisdom," "maturity" and "skill", does not factor into any equation for me or for my partner. We accept each other where each of us are at this point in out lives, just as I work on accepting myself and where I am at today. I try hard to not focus on my yesterdays or my tomorrows but to be here now. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

07-16-2012, 08:19 PM	#2
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	Honeybarbara, no one takes away the girl in you except those you let do so..I still wear pink fur collars and just bought a pair of winter boots with glittery stars all over them (oh man what I get first picks on in my store!). I cant imagine being less of who I am just because my hair has changed color. the classic poem, "i shall wear purple" is all about claiming what women were refused to enjoy as young women. We, femmes today, got to be much more free and so now we have to write our own poem...one that promises we will never give up the daisy chains and lemon perfumes and glitter in our hair... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

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07-17-2012, 02:54 AM	#3
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	It's not that it's taken away, it's that it's not seen, not validated, not encouraged. Having a certain type of femininity is "admired" and desired. I still am who I am. I just feel the girl in me is far more invalid, invisible as I age. She's not wanted. What other want more and more as I age, is a bloody mum. And if that's not the role I want to give... I have a mate who is 65 and she finds she gets this even from younger dykes as mates around her. She's seen as a maternal figure or historian. It pisses her off. When I've talked to her about how I'm feeling she's honest and said she doesn't feel girlish and she hasn't really identified with feeling girlish since her 20's so it's not part of her femininity, which is fine, we all have different kinds of femininity be she feels that she's forced into grandmotherly/motherly type femininity in the local community and she finds it very limiting.