Forgiveness

Just_G · 08-10-2012, 05:50 PM

I think I am harder on myself than I am with anyone that has ever done anything to hurt me over the years. It seems that the older I get, the harder it is to forgive myself because half the time I know better, but I continue to LET people do things that hurt me.

I try to remember to be kind to myself about it and that it is more important for me to forgive myself than to forgive the person that did it.....I gotta live with myself, and I usually put separation between me and the people that hurt me anyway. It doesn't mean I don't forgive them...I just choose not to let them in my hula hoop ever again.

Canela · 08-10-2012, 08:17 PM

But, I have learned not to carry around negative stuff from others and what they've done to me. It weighs too heavy on me. I am pretty hard on myself, so I don't need extra stuff.

I do get mad, hurt, angry, etc...I will yell, hurt, cry, whatever...when I get that out, I am ready to work on it...forgive it and then release it. I don't need it to hinder me.

And if I expect forgiveness for stuff I've done directly or indirectly to others, I need to forgive, as well. No, it's not easy. It's a process obviously, but it does happen. And I'm grateful--because I understand that I shouldn't ask for something that I wouldn't do for others.

Fair is fair.

That's just me.

barnes · 08-10-2012, 08:28 PM

my precious ladyhawkxx could do anything wrong on this earth and id love her unconditionally !!!!!!!!! ive never known love like it !!!

Martina · 08-10-2012, 09:14 PM

If I can imagine doing something myself, then I can forgive. If I can't imagine ever doing such a thing, if it is out of my ken, then it takes me much longer to forgive, and sometimes I never do. I let it go and forget about it. But if something comes along to remind me, I'll frown remembering.

Even if the motivation is something I can relate to, for example anxiety or fear, if I know that I would never have acted out in that way, then I struggle with forgiveness.

Jean_TX · 03-13-2013, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

If I can imagine doing something myself, then I can forgive. If I can't imagine ever doing such a thing, if it is out of my ken, then it takes me much longer to forgive, and sometimes I never do. I let it go and forget about it. But if something comes along to remind me, I'll frown remembering.

Even if the motivation is something I can relate to, for example anxiety or fear, if I know that I would never have acted out in that way, then I struggle with forgiveness.

I too struggle with forgiveness if I never would have acted in the way the offender did ...I just cannot summon up the required empathy.

wahya · 03-28-2013, 07:36 PM

You can never heal completely until you can forgive completely

wahya · 03-29-2013, 01:16 PM

I have had to learn to forgive because nothing can change or will when you keep asking questions over and over. You cannot change the past. What's done is done. It took me a looong time to quit asking myself why? Why? Why? I was wasting my mind space day after day. Over someone that didnt give a damn about me anymore. I cared about myself too much to let ANYBODY take anything from me like that again. I got a life to live.

~ocean · 04-25-2013, 09:39 PM

like the Title of the room" FORGIVNESS " try it

~

*Anya* · 08-10-2012, 10:55 PM

I am working on it and hope to get there.

08-10-2012, 05:50 PM	#1
Just_G Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Switch, Comedian...G...whichever. Preferred Pronoun?: He....with an e! Relationship Status: I'll take kinky & twisted for $200, Alex!! Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the middle Posts: 2,281 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 874 Thanked 6,165 Times in 1,450 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I think I am harder on myself than I am with anyone that has ever done anything to hurt me over the years. It seems that the older I get, the harder it is to forgive myself because half the time I know better, but I continue to LET people do things that hurt me. I try to remember to be kind to myself about it and that it is more important for me to forgive myself than to forgive the person that did it.....I gotta live with myself, and I usually put separation between me and the people that hurt me anyway. It doesn't mean I don't forgive them...I just choose not to let them in my hula hoop ever again. __________________ Happy are those who dream and are ready to pay the price to make them come true!

08-10-2012, 08:17 PM	#2
Canela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Babe, she, her, ella Relationship Status: Well loved… Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 2,375 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,644 Thanked 6,506 Times in 1,694 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	It took a long time... But, I have learned not to carry around negative stuff from others and what they've done to me. It weighs too heavy on me. I am pretty hard on myself, so I don't need extra stuff. I do get mad, hurt, angry, etc...I will yell, hurt, cry, whatever...when I get that out, I am ready to work on it...forgive it and then release it. I don't need it to hinder me. And if I expect forgiveness for stuff I've done directly or indirectly to others, I need to forgive, as well. No, it's not easy. It's a process obviously, but it does happen. And I'm grateful--because I understand that I shouldn't ask for something that I wouldn't do for others. Fair is fair. That's just me. __________________ . . . . . Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

08-10-2012, 08:28 PM	#3
barnes Member How Do You Identify?: butch tg Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2011 Location: kentucky Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,704 Thanked 559 Times in 188 Posts Rep Power: 6001835	forgiveness my precious ladyhawkxx could do anything wrong on this earth and id love her unconditionally !!!!!!!!! ive never known love like it !!!

04-25-2013, 09:39 PM	#8
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,022 Times in 4,726 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	like the Title of the room" FORGIVNESS " try it ~ __________________ ~ Always, ocean

08-10-2012, 10:55 PM	#9
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,455 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Forgiveness I am working on it and hope to get there. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

08-10-2012, 09:14 PM	#4
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,285 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	If I can imagine doing something myself, then I can forgive. If I can't imagine ever doing such a thing, if it is out of my ken, then it takes me much longer to forgive, and sometimes I never do. I let it go and forget about it. But if something comes along to remind me, I'll frown remembering. Even if the motivation is something I can relate to, for example anxiety or fear, if I know that I would never have acted out in that way, then I struggle with forgiveness.

03-28-2013, 07:36 PM	#6
wahya Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: im good Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 296 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 857 Times in 240 Posts Rep Power: 0	You can never heal completely until you can forgive completely

03-29-2013, 01:16 PM	#7
wahya Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: im good Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 296 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 857 Times in 240 Posts Rep Power: 0	I have had to learn to forgive because nothing can change or will when you keep asking questions over and over. You cannot change the past. What's done is done. It took me a looong time to quit asking myself why? Why? Why? I was wasting my mind space day after day. Over someone that didnt give a damn about me anymore. I cared about myself too much to let ANYBODY take anything from me like that again. I got a life to live.

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