Do you *want* people to assume you're a man?

[BullDog]

I just had an incident tonight which kind of made me chuckle, since we are talking about this today. I went into a convenience store today to use the ATM machine and buy a couple of sodas. As I was walking in the door there was a man ahead of me, he looked back, I figured to make sure I had the door. Then he looked back a couple more times and just stared and stared. I think he was trying to figure out which box to put me in, lol.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I just had an incident tonight which kind of made me chuckle, since we are talking about this today. I went into a convenience store today to use the ATM machine and buy a couple of sodas. As I was walking in the door there was a man ahead of me, he looked back, I figured to make sure I had the door. Then he looked back a couple more times and just stared and stared. I think he was trying to figure out which box to put me in, lol.

Ami stares back at them and will yell Boo! LOL stops them dead in their tracks. They often plow into other things n people, it's hilarious to watch!

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Ami stares back at them and will yell Boo! LOL stops them dead in their tracks. They often plow into other things n people, it's hilarious to watch!

LMFAO!

.....

[Parker]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I just had an incident tonight which kind of made me chuckle, since we are talking about this today. I went into a convenience store today to use the ATM machine and buy a couple of sodas. As I was walking in the door there was a man ahead of me, he looked back, I figured to make sure I had the door. Then he looked back a couple more times and just stared and stared. I think he was trying to figure out which box to put me in, lol.

Oh god, the staring .... I sometimes wonder if they realize how rude they are being by staring or if they are so preoccupied with wondering "what" I am that they dont even notice their behavior.

[Bard]

I know what I am I am a woman a strong Butch woman yes I get the stares at time and get called sir and don't get me started on the bathroom issues lol I scare little old ladies... My daughter however does not find it funny she has been known to stamp her little foot and say "that's my MAMA" and the guys I work with get very upset when we are in a stop or dealing with a suspect and they call me sir.. they are protective

[Syr]

I do not consider myself male at all. I am called Sir often in stores etc. funny but not funny story. I was in Montreal at a hospital as my brother was dying. Went to the washroom, yes, the ladies room i startled an elderly lady who was in there. I finish my business, exit washroom to be grabbed by a cop. He speaks french, I speak english. It finally becomes clear to me that he is informing me he is arresting me for being in the ladies washroom. I'm thinking this is a bad fuckin' joke. I guess I was under a little stress because I snapped. I told him he was a f??? Idiot and promptly pulled my shirt off to expose proof that I was a woman. Asshats!

[Jaques]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I just had an incident tonight which kind of made me chuckle, since we are talking about this today. I went into a convenience store today to use the ATM machine and buy a couple of sodas. As I was walking in the door there was a man ahead of me, he looked back, I figured to make sure I had the door. Then he looked back a couple more times and just stared and stared. I think he was trying to figure out which box to put me in, lol.

,,,,,im glad you chuckled, so many people butches and transguys get angry when people stare or do a double take - i just see it that if you look different (in any way) or people arent sure what to make of you, people are naturally curious, staring is rude of course but before I passed as male, lots of people stared and i just used to smile back because i understood.
I had one incident where a guy actually stopped me and told me when I was very much looking like a woman in a suit and tie, which i never wear now, he said "you look fabulous" - which was a lovely thing to say and i appreciated it at a time when I was trying to find my way in the gender confusion I was experiencing - I used to wear suit, tie and - wait for it - "makeup"!!! Dont you just love the mascara...lol!
http://

BIG DIFFERENCE NOW- no suit and NOOOOOOOOOO makeuphttp://

[Dude]

The older I get, the more I am sir'd.
I do not like it
but I don't like the alternatives either.
I think it's possible to engage with people
without using either pronoun and just be polite.

I have to admit I do like the mind-fuck area
better than blending. Queers do see me and I
relish that.

I'm not quit sure what it is about freeways but I enjoy some
good cruising action ,stuck in traffic, at times. When the
eyes are on me , I wonder if these women know what I am.
Are they straight , could they be femme? It's not like it's going to
go anywhere. Their eyes met across a crowded freeway and....


I had a strange thing happen at work yesterday. Two male co-workers
and I were talking and one commented about a female co-worker really needing to
get some ( as in get laid.) He then quickly said he was not giving IT to her.
It was like I was not even there.
Then it dawned on him , that I was right fucking there growling and ready to
insult the hell out of him.
He said oh you heard that right? I said I sure the hell did and may have
angrily flounced away. If only I could flounce better I could be mistaken
for a gay man which would somehow feel better to me, than a straight one.

> Edited to add: this is not to say that all gay men flounce but I would likely be a flouncer. If I could choose:]

There will be an incident report filled out by me. How can I not, really?
I'm so Sick of working with bozo 's . It's 2012, pull your head out already.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Dude

I had a strange thing happen at work yesterday. Two male co-workers
and I were talking and one commented about a female co-worker really needing to
get some ( as in get laid.) He then quickly said he was not giving IT to her.
It was like I was not even there.
Then it dawned on him , that I was right fucking there growling and ready to
insult the hell out of him.
He said oh you heard that right? I said I sure the hell did and may have
angrily flounced away. If only I could flounce better I could be mistaken
for a gay man which would somehow feel better to me, than a straight one.

> Edited to add: this is not to say that all gay men flounce but I would likely be a flouncer. If I could choose:]

There will be an incident report filled out by me. How can I not, really?
I'm so Sick of working with bozo 's . It's 2012, pull your head out already.

I work in a potentially sexist environment where the men in my immediate area sort of tiptoe around me on their best behavior. When my boss is inappropriate, I put him back in his place and document it, but it takes a toll on me.

I often feel like I have no one to really "talk to" at work, though my work is respected.

I miss working in literacy, with more social-justice minded folks. I think that feeling of being alone has been exacerbated by the conditions of my relationship. I'm moving out, and looking for an apartment. In fact I'm on the computer tonight going back and forth with a real estate broker.

But I'm not out yet. And feeling alone at work as well as home, has been hard. One good friend at work would make a huge difference. When I read your post I thought, Damn, I wish she worked where I work.

[WintergreenGem]

I have a question and I am only asking because I truly do not know or understand:

How does a transguy pass as a transguy and not a straight guy? (Sorry if that is worded wrong.) I really want to get a visual/understanding on this. Thanks. GG

[Glenn]

Sorry I can't help you GG. I'm still trying to understand why a bio male, would want to pass as a butch, but who also is a male identified butch, and not a gay guy, who wants people to assume their a female identified butch, and not trans.

[Dude]

Originally Posted by Glenn

Sorry I can't help you GG. I'm still trying to understand why a bio male, would want to pass as a butch, but who also is a male identified butch, and not a gay guy, who wants people to assume their a female identified butch, and not trans.

I have read this thread forward and in reverse in search of the
bio male you "might" be speaking of.
Not found.
If you are talking about someone in this thread ,it might be a nice touch to quote them and ask them directly.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Glenn

Sorry I can't help you GG. I'm still trying to understand why a bio male, would want to pass as a butch, but who also is a male identified butch, and not a gay guy, who wants people to assume their a female identified butch, and not trans.

My only thought was, huh?

[starryeyes]

Originally Posted by Glenn

Sorry I can't help you GG. I'm still trying to understand why a bio male, would want to pass as a butch, but who also is a male identified butch, and not a gay guy, who wants people to assume their a female identified butch, and not trans.

Kinda off topic but I watched a show on NatGeo or something about Transfolk where they featured a section of the straight male population that want to transition into the butches. Also, in Ivan Coyotes new novel, I believe I read some stories written by a few of these transfolk. I never knew of this population. We are a very diverse world, we are!

[Parker]

Originally Posted by GrahamsGirl

I have a question and I am only asking because I truly do not know or understand:

How does a transguy pass as a transguy and not a straight guy? (Sorry if that is worded wrong.) I really want to get a visual/understanding on this. Thanks. GG

You might get a better answer and a better understanding of trans guys if you asked this in a trans thread and/or in the trans zone.

Here, we are making a concerted effort to discuss butches who may or may not pass as male, whether they are trying to or not, and whether they find these assumptions ok - so you may not find an answer to your question in this particular thread.

[WintergreenGem]

Originally Posted by Parker

You might get a better answer and a better understanding of trans guys if you asked this in a trans thread and/or in the trans zone.

Here, we are making a concerted effort to discuss butches who may or may not pass as male, whether they are trying to or not, and whether they find these assumptions ok - so you may not find an answer to your question in this particular thread.

Thanks Parker. I will do, I only asked after I read a post in the thread. Sorry.