Spouses/Partners of Transmen and transwomen...

[Tony]

Originally Posted by chefhmboyrd

we all have a slightly different perspective.

i had always identified as a lesbian before transition, but it never felt quite right on me. i dated many "straight" women, most of which never dated another woman, ever.

once i began to transition, everything made more sense to me, and the past relationships came into focus. i had always been a man, in spirit, if not in form.

when i met my fiance, Gsnap, in 2008, i had been on t for over a year. she is straight, identifies and straight, never been with a woman or even attracted to a woman.
we hit is off right away, and we were friends for almost 2 years (we were both in a relationship at the time)
when our respective relationships fell apart, we started dating. I dated a few other people over the first few months, before i realized that she was all i needed.

people are curious as to how she can identify as straight while she is engaged to a transman, but to question her sexual identity, is to infer that i am not a "man"
as you can imagine, that is offensive to both of us.

Exactly where all my relationships have also been. Thanks for putting that our here. Sometimes I feel I can't vouce these sort of experiences here for several reasons. Glad to see someone walking the same path I have.

I gave to add tho, I never id'ed as lesbian. Nothing against you, just wanted to clarify who I am.

[Tony]

Geez, gotta love auto correct combined with my lack of proof reading. My apologies for the typos in above post.

[Quintease]

My husband was always attracted to women and so identified himself as a lesbian for most of his emerging sexuality. Yet he never really identified with the gay community, never really felt like a lesbian and found most of his girlfriends were 'queer' rather than gay. It eventually made sense to him when one of his many gf's introduced him to the concept of 'Trans'. From then he transitioned immediately, being lucky enough to be in an area which was quite supportive (the amount of support you get in the UK depends on where you live really). He imagined he'd live as a man, find a nice straight or queer girlfriend and live happily ever after, possibly with a picket fence.

Instead he got me. A 5 on the Kinsey scale, very interested in gay politics, every single one of my friends were gay, a big chunk of my identity was gay and no desire to let go of my Lesbian Card for anyone, not easily anyhow.

3 years on we're still together, still in love and have the wedding certificate to prove it. I've stopped going clubbing, he's friended all of my friends and socially I'm now prepared to lie and call myself bisexual (but only in straight environments). I do miss being visibly gay and he does sometimes miss being part of a community, but we're both so much happier these days, despite our losses